I've just written suicide notes

[Alphabetbites]

I've NC for this. I've just written suicide notes.

I cheated on DH, years ago. I can't live with the guilt anymore. I can't tell him because he'll leave me and then he'll be hurting. Equally I can't not tell him because I'm deceiving him into staying with me.

My mental health is deteriorating and it has been for a while. I've not seen anyone about it because I thought I could cope but I can't.

The only way out of this is to go. I've told him in the note but I can't bring myself to tell him whilst I'm still alive.

Now I just need to decide if I go through with it. I don't even know the best way to do it.

I never thought it'd come to this. Not really sure why I'm posting.

[Alphabetbites]

Just wanted to let you know I'm still here

I won't commit suicide - to be honest, I don't think I have the guts to go through with it.

I'm going to discuss with DH coming off hormanal contraceptives completely, even if we don't TTC, which I don't think is a great idea until I get my mental health sorted. I just can't keep on feeling like this. This is the third pill I've been on now and there is a pattern - I get to 5 years and I feel terrible so maybe it could be linked to yasmin. I'll have a chat with my GP.

Thank you all so much xx

[VisualiseAHorse]

Glad to hear that you're still here!

I think maybe it is wise to come off hormonal contraceptives for a while, give your body a rest from it. It took me 4 different pills (now on Cerazette) before I found one that didn't turn me into a raving loon. I also think it's very wise not to TTC until your mental health is better. There are many other types of contraception!