Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

Those of you who have had counselling....

100 replies

naswm · 10/05/2006 14:18

...do you get to a point where you can tell it is is working? or that it is starting to help? If so, I obviously have a long way to go :(

TIA

OP posts:
blueteddy · 10/05/2006 23:09

People confuse me for being strong too, but I am not strong, I just have this in built self control where crying is concerned. I actually wish I could let it out more, as I think it would propably help.

Original poster
naswm · 10/05/2006 23:09

my last post was a jok btw essbee. I know it isn't cool not to cry anymore. and as much as I have spent my llife telling myself it is okay not to, I have really wanted to. and when it has happened lately it has hurt so at the time I thought that it was pointless (but uncontrolable) but I know now what good it did me.

OP posts:
blueteddy · 10/05/2006 23:10

How are you feeling in general these days, essbee?

essbee · 10/05/2006 23:10

Likewise, I'm really not strong as much as i'd love to be. I have noticed tho, if I try to fight tears back and succeed, it leaves my skin all blotchy still. I mean wtf??

butty · 10/05/2006 23:10

You probably hit the nail on the head naswm, thats what people tend to say about me, and in the end, you give such a front that others including those closest to you think you are indestructable, but they are so wrong.

Sometimes it is easier to play you suggested role rather than to let go and be yourself.

Personally i hate crying, but some days it's all i ever do, and do i feel better afterwards, sometimes yes, sometimes no.

Crying is within all of us and sometimes needs to be released to ease some of the mental pain.

Original poster
naswm · 10/05/2006 23:11

I am starting to ramble. I need to get to bed. sorry folks. (no alcohol. Just tiredness)

thanks for chatting and for all the good advice. Speak soon I hope naswm x

OP posts:
essbee · 10/05/2006 23:11

Oh I know nas-whatsit.

BT - er... can ~I pass for now please? Wink

blueteddy · 10/05/2006 23:12

When something actually does make me cry, I literally can't stop!

essbee · 10/05/2006 23:12

Sleep well!

essbee · 10/05/2006 23:13

See I was like that BT, I stop much quicker now.

blueteddy · 10/05/2006 23:13

Oh dear, essbee. I hope you are not feeling too low.Sad
Are you back on MSN yet?

Original poster
naswm · 10/05/2006 23:13

one more thing to the non-crying ones among us (lol)

Do you look back on things and wish you had cried? There have been so many times when the natural thing would have been for me to cry (eg when my two DS have been seriously ill and in hospital or going for surgery etc). Now I wonder if I would have coped better if I had cried then? No point dwelling on it I guess, but I do wonder

OP posts:
PinkKerPlink · 10/05/2006 23:15

I didnt even cry at my sisters funeral and she was only 21:(

I desperately wanted to cry at her wake, but didnt vcry there either. I even felt as if people would think i wasnt unhappy due to lack of tears

Original poster
naswm · 10/05/2006 23:15

nas-whatsit !

I like that!

OP posts:
essbee · 10/05/2006 23:15

I think there are times when holding it together is ood, I didn't cry when my ds was in hosp either, I like to think I looked coping/positive etc to him.

BT - do you not have my new msn??

Original poster
naswm · 10/05/2006 23:16

that is exaclty what I mean pinkerplink. I have had timies like that. Its a coping mechanism. dont beat yourself up about it. that is what I tell myself. x

OP posts:
blueteddy · 10/05/2006 23:16

Yes I do feel that I would have been far better letting my emotions out on many occassions. I have had all kinds of physical symptoms related to my stress, ranging from loss of voice & throat swelling sensations to IBS. I don't think holding it all in helps at all.
Must go to bed myself now!

Original poster
naswm · 10/05/2006 23:17

is there a secret msn club here btw Wink I dont want any of that on my thread thank you very much!

OP posts:
Lact8 · 10/05/2006 23:17

Hi naswm, I've read some of your previous posts and it's good to hear that you're talking to someone.

I've had 2 experiences of counselling. One when I was 15. I was going off the rails a bit and had put up a big wall around myself to block out all emotional feelings towards my family. I found that I would just cry and cry and cry during the sessions and it was such a relief to get all of that pent up emotion out of me. I would still show a very tough front to my family but have found that crying is still a very useful tool to deal with overwhelming feelings.

I've posted before about my 2nd experience under a name change, fakebeard or something, but can't be bothered to go and change it now. The counselling wasn't for me, it was for DS1's dad who had very serious addiction problems. My experience with that counsellor really did change my life, and DS1's future.

Good luck with the counselling

blueteddy · 10/05/2006 23:17

I don't, essbee. I still have your old one!

essbee · 10/05/2006 23:17

I couldn't remeber all of the nas... when I was typing!

Original poster
naswm · 10/05/2006 23:19

thanks lact8 I have a very good friend to thank for me having counselling. I couldnt have got there without her and couldnt do it now without her.

OP posts:
essbee · 10/05/2006 23:20

No secret at all!!! I tried to msn everyone as I caught tem online to tell them, it;s a non mumsnet msn for old surrey mates too, well in theory.

Original poster
naswm · 10/05/2006 23:22

Wink essbee it was a joke. A tired one at that

I need to go to bed > I shall pay for this in the morning. I will probably be here moaning even more depressed than usual because I am so tired!

OP posts:
frumpygrumpy · 11/05/2006 10:24

NASWM. I didn't realise the significance of your name. Change it honey. You are a strong woman. You are on here talking about deep, personal things and opening up your vulnerable side to make a change and that takes a strong woman. Taking the step to have counselling takes a strong woman. Sometimes getting up and going through the day even though it seems like it might be beyond you that day takes a strong woman. Bringing up kids and changing really smelly nappies takes a really strong woman Grin.

You are a strong woman. Get that name changed babe, its a step you need to take.

And remember if you have days you feel you are just existing and getting through til bedtime, its fine and its good. You're getting through and thats all thats needed.