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Mental health

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Original poster

Those of you who have had counselling....

100 replies

naswm · 10/05/2006 14:18

...do you get to a point where you can tell it is is working? or that it is starting to help? If so, I obviously have a long way to go :(

TIA

OP posts:

PinkKerPlink · 10/05/2006 22:42

yes I havent told her everything, i would be going for years otherwise:o

theway i look at it is this, I tell her the things that I cant cope with and she helps me to deal with that. i can cope with the rest of it. I just need help with some of the mixed up shit and other crap

i am glad youn know why naswm, that is a good start

essbee · 10/05/2006 22:42

Unfortunately they only have men atm!!!! It's that or nothing, i'm going to give it a go but I'm really not convinced.

PinkKerPlink · 10/05/2006 22:43

butty I cross posted with you, i didnt mean anything nasty-I was just being flippant:)

PinkKerPlink · 10/05/2006 22:45

my mum had two men counsellors and they were both fine and helped her

essbee · 10/05/2006 22:45

I have lots that I never told my counsellor/s, it may have all come out in time though if i'd been able to stick with it. It is hard though, esp if you've been used to just keeping in it.

blueteddy · 10/05/2006 22:45

It does take a while. The first couple of sessions leave you feeling worse than when you walked in & counsellors do tend to give you it straight too. But they do make you really look into ways you can change things for your benefit.
It is still early days for you - I don't think I felt the sessions were helping much after the first 6. Keep with it - it will get easier with time & you will hopefully come out of it a stronger person.

Original poster

naswm · 10/05/2006 22:46

sophable - can I ask you a quick question please?

I have one big area of 'issue' in my life. the content of which is irrelevant. My counsellor has said that there will be a time when it all began or a source of all that particular pain. Do you agree with that?

I dont disagree but at the moment I cannot remember. I have blocked out so much though that I cannot say for definite that there wasn't - IYKWIM

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butty · 10/05/2006 22:50

Don't worry plinkker, no offence taken

it's taken me 5 years to find myself, and slowly i am gettin there, i ain't saying that life is easy as that would be a lie, but for once in my life, i am putting myself first, i have taken redundency on my well paid pen pushing job, hust been accepted on a 2 year course at college for social work and have cut back on the drink.

Obviously my kids come first and as they have SN, i would have it no other way, but i'm fed up of the day to day things that i do to be comfortable, and for me to be happy will make others around me more happier.

Butty.xxx

hub2dee · 10/05/2006 22:50

Interesting, S. I imagine if it's carried out within / by BACP / BPS recommended practices / practictioners one would probably stand the best chance of getting a good experience from it though. I agree that the facilitation / debriefing infrastructure would need to be excellent.

Original poster

naswm · 10/05/2006 22:52

pinky - i know why I am depressed but it is not because of a specific thing - it is not that easy! It is more to do with admitting that I have a chemical imbalance in my braini caused by dealing with 36 years of emotional turmoil and for the past 34 of them keeping my emotions inside. I know now that no-one can carry on like that without cracks starting to appear. I must be getting somewhere actually, becuase I have recently started crying - not a lot, but some times. I have never cried so this is a big step for me. Doing it in front of other people will be the next step. And God fobid what would happen if I cried in one of my sessions! I have fought like made to keep the floodgates shut. I am worried I wouldnt stop...

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Original poster

naswm · 10/05/2006 22:54

butty you really sound like you are starting to get it together. Do you still have black days? At the moment I have more black days than grey ones :( Not sure when that will change.

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blueteddy · 10/05/2006 22:55

I am like that about crying. I have managed 20 odd counselling sessions without breaking down, although it has been very hard at times. I go out of my way not to cry in front of anyone & that includes counsellors.

PinkKerPlink · 10/05/2006 22:57

well you sound similar to alot of people who end up in counselling, they try and cope and are strong all the time when all of lifes traumas are thrown at them. Other people dont ever see you as a vulnerable person either which really doesnt help

good luck with it all, come back in a few weeks time and tell us what is happeneing

weird isnt it though when you first start as you just dont know what is normal

Original poster

naswm · 10/05/2006 22:59

blueteddy we must talk about this crying thing. I have never met anyone else like me! But then I have never admitted it before really.

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Heathcliffscathy · 10/05/2006 22:59

i happen to believe that most (not all by any means ) but most of what hampers us in later life can be traced back to early years. but in some ways it isn't that useful to refer to this, when it hasn't arrived by itself iyswim. sorry you're having such doubts. it it's any consolations at all (doubtful) in nearly four years in training wise and still have doubts myself in my own therapy.

butty · 10/05/2006 23:00

Hi naswm,

yeah, i have plenty of black days, but the thing i have learnt is to carry on otherwise i would crack.

I tend to talk to myself by way of questioning and reasoning as i feel that this helps, as really the only person who can change things is myself, and if i can convince myself that, then i can carry on.

I used to bottle things up, and i still do, but not like i used to.

It helps me sometimes to think the bad days through and look at where it started going wrong and ask myself is there anything i could do to change it??

A lot of the time the answer is no, but when it's yes, then i feel that i have reached another milestone in dealing with my feelings and emotions in a more acceptable manner.

Butty.xxx

Original poster

naswm · 10/05/2006 23:01

I am not haveing doubts sophable. I just worry I guess how we are going to get at these things if my conscience (sp. sorry. tired) cant remember them.

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essbee · 10/05/2006 23:02

That was the other thing, the good counsellor was the only health prof i was ever able to properly cry in front of. She always got to the raw parts which is also why I know it was working.

blueteddy · 10/05/2006 23:04

I have never met anyone else like me either! I actually pushed the box of tissues away during my first counselling session & said to her "I won't be needing these!"
Sometimes I can be under such intense stress & I think "I don't know if I will keep control today"
But I always manage to. My HV is actually quite concerned that she has never broken me yet, let alone the counsellor!

Original poster

naswm · 10/05/2006 23:05

essbee - do you think I do need to cry (and let myself go) to get to the deeper bits with my counsellor? ATM I fight like mad when I start welling up and dont sway anything and think about wet pants or some other equally mind numbing thing

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blueteddy · 10/05/2006 23:05

Realy, essbee? Did you used to fight the tears in front of people too?

nooka · 10/05/2006 23:06

I found my counseling sessions very helpful, and have made me feel much more at peace with myself, and aware of my internal resources. Some of the sessions were very difficult, and I went away very unsure of where they were going, others were quite uplifting. I had it arranged through work at a point when my relationship was seriously falling apart, and my boss basically told me to go. I had six sessions, and then got six more because the counselor said I needed them. I don't think that I held anything back, but of course I could have talked much more! She was a psychotherapist, I think, and we did spend a lot of time talking about my childhood, and in particular my mother, which my dh disapproved of (he thought it was all about blame) but I do think that I get on better with her now. Every now and then I think it would be nice to have a few more sessions, but I don't think I need them anymore!

Original poster

naswm · 10/05/2006 23:06

me too blueteddy!!!!! I sat down and thought, wel;l we wont be needing those!!

I have been described as a 'hard but' btw,on many an occasion!!

That is why everyone thinks I am strong but I am not. NotAStrongWomanMe .....

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essbee · 10/05/2006 23:07

I honestly now believe that you sometimes have to let these things out, however, I still hate crying in front of people. I find it very hard to fight them back now though, I was crying about something just an hour ago!! Hmmm.. I can tell i'm not going to sell this one!

Original poster

naswm · 10/05/2006 23:08

is there a name for us 'we dont cry' crowd? lol

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