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Mental health

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Original poster

Those of you who have had counselling....

100 replies

naswm · 10/05/2006 14:18

...do you get to a point where you can tell it is is working? or that it is starting to help? If so, I obviously have a long way to go :(

TIA

OP posts:

Original poster

naswm · 10/05/2006 18:36

Anyone?

OP posts:

teabags · 10/05/2006 18:40

how long have you been going? may also depend on whether you click with your counsellor.
I was v sceptical and came away from my 1st session thinking it wouldn't work but later that week my thoughts started to fall into place . Good luck

figleaf · 10/05/2006 18:45

Bit off the subject but how did you find a counsellor naswm? did you go through the GP or another way?

blueteddy · 10/05/2006 18:49

I think it has helped me look at myself & my life in a way I didn't before.
It has definitely helped me, but I guess it takes a while to realise, IYKWIM?
Have you not been going for long?
The first couple of sessions made me feel worse, but it gets easier & easier as the weeks go along.
I have had loads of sessions & my next session will be my last. I feel I am probably ready to call it a day now, as I have come quite a long way from when I first started the sessions, but I will miss going to talk to my counsellor.

hub2dee · 10/05/2006 20:01

bt - you may find other, more informal types of counselling can continue to give you an avenue to explore ideas / feelings etc... Co-counselling was one such 'type' of therapy we learnt about on my psych degree (many moons ago): \link{http://www.co-counselling.co.uk/\here for example}.

If nothing feels right after giving it a good bash, naswm, maybe another counsellor with a different 'approach' might be better for you ? There are many different modes of therapy IYSWIM, based on (often very different) theories of psychology. Hope it works out for you.

blueteddy · 10/05/2006 20:16

Thanks for the link, hub. I have never heard of co-counselling before.
This is my second round of counselling through the NHS (yes I am the counselling Queen!), the first was shortly after DS2 was born, when I suffered from PND which was brought on by my circumstances at the time. My HV put me down for counselling & I had 12 sessions, which I found helped me a lot.
After these sessions (12 is the max you can have on the NHS) my counsellor mentioned family therepy, but H wouldn't entertain the idea!
I started going again last year (to the same counsellor) & do feel a much stronger person for it, although I do feel a little panicked about the fact that my next session will be my last!

hub2dee · 10/05/2006 20:49

Maybe the best person to ask about ongoing avenues of expression would be the counsellor then ? They might be able to suggest many different things (books, courses, what 'type' / 'name' / 'school' of counselling or therapy you have had so you can find someone else that adheres to similar methodology etc.). Would you be able to afford (and does the counsellor offer) private sessions ? Even if they are more spaced apart, perhaps that is something to consider ?

Good luck !

PinkKerPlink · 10/05/2006 20:51

how long have you been going?

It is very very painful at first:( very upsetting

blueteddy · 10/05/2006 21:13

I may well ask her what other options are available for me, during my next session. I have no idea how expensive private sessions are, so not sure if I could afford them or not. I started seeing my counsellor (this time) last summer. I had 6 weekly sessions followed by 6 monthly sessions & although I was meant to stop after the second 6, my counsellor asked my gp if it was okay for me to have a few more, as things were very up in the air at the time.
I have since had another 3 sessions & feel that maybe now I am ready to try & sort my own life out without my safety nets, IYKWIM?
She said that I could always go back after a break if I felt the need.

Littlefish · 10/05/2006 21:24

I had weekly counselling sessions for about 6 months. By the end, I realised that I hadn't really got anything more to say! I felt balanced and in control of my life again. However, about every 3 or 4 years, I find that I need to have a short course of sessions again, just to help sort out things which have re-appeared.

tallulah · 10/05/2006 21:28

I had 2 years of one morning a week group sessions. I hated it at first and wouldn't speak, but at the end the tranformation was obvious to everyone and I felt so much better. Unfortunately that was 3 years ago and I'm noticing that the Rage I was sent there to cure is coming back, so I don't know whether for some people it has to be an ongoing thing?

Original poster

naswm · 10/05/2006 22:22

Thanks everyone. I think maybe I am just starting out on the journey. I have had six sessions and will have another six before the next 'assessment'. I am an inpatient person so maybe I am looking to run before I can walk. I know what you mean when some of you have said it gets harder before it gets better. At the moment I am struggling a bit - but I want to continue because I can see how I am starting to recognise that.

figleaf - it was v hard. I tried my GP but for various reasons that didn't work, so I started to look for someone independently. This was made more complicated becuase I wanted at this point to find someone who was a Christian - becuase my faith is integral to my whole being. I had lots of help and suggestions of people and places to try on here and in RL and in the end choose someone on personal recommendation. And thankfully, she has worked out and we have gelled.

OP posts:

essbee · 10/05/2006 22:24

Counselling can help if you get the right one. I was lucky in that I saw a great one in Surrey before I left but only for ten weeks (as I moved!), I think it would have helped enormously if i'd been able to continue.

essbee · 10/05/2006 22:25

It took until a few seesions in that I actually realised it was working. It made me look at how I was reacting to things. I still react in a bad way but at least I know I do it...

Original poster

naswm · 10/05/2006 22:26

essbee - do you think it is too soon for me to be able to see any of those things?

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essbee · 10/05/2006 22:29

You're probably not seeing things as you're looking. Either that or you haven't got the right counsellor for you. I saw an appalling one before I saw the one that I did. Does she actually listen to you and do you feel able to open up a bit now. Mine (the ood one) seem to be able to read between the lines perfectly when I couldn't actually get all the words out.

essbee · 10/05/2006 22:30

I'm about to see a new one as of this Friday btw!!! I'm completely dreading it, its a bloke for a start which i'm really not comfortable with.

PinkKerPlink · 10/05/2006 22:34

naswn i am impatient too. I expected to fel better immediately. I dont know why you are going and why you are depressed but for me I couldnt even see the amount of trauma I had suffered in my life was going to take a long time to come and come to terms with. It takes ages to start realise why and how you feel the way you do about things. Things crop up you dont even know are a problem

Beleive me it is worth it in the end. I have been having weekly sessions since septemeber and will ahve about 6 or 8 more. My life is completely changing. i honestly feel like a different person to what i was this time last year

Be brave and stick with it

frumpygrumpy · 10/05/2006 22:35

I've had some counselling sessions. I was never sure it was working. I felt it was lightweight, it was CBT which was a little like positive thinking actually. My counsellor was very pleasant but I'm sure she had no kids so I felt she had little understanding of my "I've got 3 kids under 4 and I want to be nice again" chat. I think I had about 6 sessions and after each she would suggest a timescale to come back. After my last she left it that I could decide when I wanted my next one. Life took hold then (November time I think) and I've not been back. However, what I'm getting to is that I did, at the time, find her suggestions coming to me and still practice one or two things. At the time I also found if I was having an off day then it was good I had an appointment when I could discuss that thing instead of letting it eat away at me.

I may or may not go back, it just depends how things go.

If you still have plenty to chat over with your counsellor then keep going. I'm sure when you start feeling like you have nothing to say it will be time to go.

Does any of that make sense? I'm just on my way for an early night and typing fast. Best of luck, keep posting.

Original poster

naswm · 10/05/2006 22:35

I'm not sure I could cope with a man essbee... But I know some people who have felt more comfortable with a man.

I have done some deep exploring and she definitely listens and somehow gets me to rediscover things I thought were long forgotten. I think she is the right one. In fact I am sure she is the right one. I just want it all finished now and want to feel like I've achieved all I set out to achieve...

OP posts:

PinkKerPlink · 10/05/2006 22:35

and i started to feel better after about a couple of months, but it wasnt immendiate. i just stopped feeling as anxious and depressed. I didnt feel better by any stretch of the imagination!

Original poster

naswm · 10/05/2006 22:39

x posted pinkerplink and frumpygrumpy....

Pinky - she has made me realise why am I depressed and I am coming to terms with the fact that it is not my fault and that it is nothing to be ashamed of.

frumpy - I dont want my sessions to end. At the end of my time, I think 'oh no, I was just getting started there'! (Apart from one week when I was so low we both realised v early on that my defense barriers were so high up nothing was going to break through them!

OP posts:

Original poster

naswm · 10/05/2006 22:40

one more thing......

Were there or are there things you have not told your counsellor?

OP posts:

butty · 10/05/2006 22:40

Hi Naswm,

i've had counsilling for the best part of 5 years, although i don't really feel as though i get much from it for the main reason is that i know what my problems are and i know how i should handle them, although the need to vent at times is very good as i just totally let go and get it off my chest.

I think it depends on the circumstances that you have faced to get you to this stage in life, and that i feel would be the best question to ask yourself.

I have found the hard way, that just becaise i have a counsillor, doesn't mean that the probs will go, as they are only there to listen and not advise.

The best advise i can give is to open up and pick out the points that you feel come up more often than not, and then gradually focus on them.

I hope all goes well for you.

Butty.xxx

Heathcliffscathy · 10/05/2006 22:41

i am a counsellor. being in therapy/counselling is really really really hard. the reason that most people that get into counselling is because they feel their backs are against the wall. change is painful. looking at what is going wrong is painful. for some people too painful. also there are good and bad counsellors out there. people shop around more for hairdressers then for counsellors....which is staggering if you think about it.

stick with it. it isn't easy. and it isn't easy to pin down when small tendrils of change start to arrive. it is a process. sometimes the results are not felt until years afterwards (but more often than not, they start to be felt during).

h2d, i think co-counselling can be extremely dangerous....it needs careful facilitating and moderating.

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