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Original poster

Bipolar support thread?

512 replies

Crawling · 03/02/2013 19:04

Ive noticed there are quite a few of us and thought maybe a thread for us would be good. All are welcome those diagnosed and those awaiting diagnosis.

Ill start with Ive been depressed so long now I dont remember how I used to feel, yet id still prefer this to mania as the havoc I reaked last time was very painful to clean up after my episode. If I had to chart my mood today between 1-10 1 being I cant think how to make a cup of tea and 5 being good 10 being the tv is talking to me and I must go out now im about a 3 today what about you guys?

OP posts:
Juneywoony · 07/04/2013 21:42

Don't worry if you are being hard on her or not hun, just concentrate on yourself and your kids. (easier said than done though)

I get angry with my dad, i had a very unhappy childhood, early adulthood and i fixate on it when i get unwell. He too suffers with mental illness so like you i then feel bad for feeling bad about him ahhhhh, can't win can you sometimes, xxxxxxxx

nenevomito · 07/04/2013 22:14

Zopiclone is a sleeping med which I find works really well at getting me to sleep even when high. You need to take it early in the evening, I've found, as it works a leeetle too well IYSWIM.

To be honest, I'm bordering on whether to be concerned about me. Ahh not sure. Stupid brain.

I've got a lot on at work and have started overeating and obsessing about food which always happens when I'm stressed. The other thing is that I've started having thoughts about how my meds are frying my brain and making me stupid and worrying about what they are doing to my head as it can't be right to fuck about with your brain with a load of meds that are doing god knows what. I've started to get twitchy, I've been either horrible or overcompensating with the children, I feel so tired and don't want to do anything with the family and have already started to reduce what I'm taking which I know probably isn't a good idea, but I can't make myself take it as I just can't bring myself to do it.

I've not heard from my care-co for nearly a month now, she was meant to get in touch to sort out an appointment, but hasn't, so this just makes me think that I am OK and should just carry on as she would've been in touch again if she thought I wasn't Ok, yes?

Juneywoony · 07/04/2013 22:33

No Babyheave that is very poor.......it drives me mad how bad the treatment are care can be sometimes.

You know yourself you are not quite right so get on to her tomorrow, xxxxx

Original poster
Crawling · 08/04/2013 10:04

I agree with juney why dont you like your meds is it because you think they are making you slow and effecting your intelligence?

Good news here girls I have lost 11 pounds since switching meds. I have gone from 13 stone to 12.3 Grin

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nenevomito · 08/04/2013 10:17

Great on the weight loss! I'm still stuck around 13st. Is it a magical number for people on psych meds?

I don't like my meds as they make me feel tired and stupid. Now I know I shouldn't fuck about with them as last time I got really ill and I also don't want to swap to lithium like my psych suggested last time as nothing that I've read suggests its good for BP2, but I have been fucking about with them as I want to feel alive again.

I also could do with a wee bit of hypomania as I have a shit load of work on and if I was just a bit brighter I could manage it better. I also hate having to take meds and hate the fact that I will have to be on something for life and also who knows what damage they're doing anyway? Maybe its more harmful?

Original poster
Crawling · 08/04/2013 10:56

If you have gained weight abilify is weight neutral and doesnt effect my brain function at all.

Its only side effects are nausea which has stopped after a week and restlessness which is a bit of a pain but im hoping it will pass.

Could you maybe ask to swap there are other good ones like depakote lamotrigine lamictal. What are you on atm?

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Original poster
Crawling · 08/04/2013 11:04

Also abilify is not a drowsy med its a energy giver ime.

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nenevomito · 08/04/2013 11:09

Lamotrigine and quetiapine.

the lamotrigine seems to be reasonably side effect free after the initial titration. Its the Q that makes me slow. The problem is that when I take it I'm really stable, just slow.

Is stability a good enough reason to be stuck in a mental fog, struggling to remember words and do simple tasks at a reasonable pace?

Original poster
Crawling · 08/04/2013 11:18

There is no reason another anti pych wont work just as well with less side effects. Ask about changing the quietapine.

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nenevomito · 08/04/2013 12:28

I will do.

I'm just in a really weird place at the moment. I'm swinging from good and maybe a bit too good, to tired and edgy. I don't like it.

I've txted my care co though. Sensible. For once.

Original poster
Crawling · 08/04/2013 18:02

Im glad you have texted your care co.

I have been given some meds to help with side effects yay.

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Juneywoony · 09/04/2013 07:13

Well done babyheave...hard to be sensible sometimes you've done good, still can't believe she has left you a month without any contact! Let's hope she doesn't take as long to get back to you!

Crawling it is good they have given you something to help with your side effects...how are you feeling now?

Well today is my birthday, kid's came bursting in with cards and pressies at 6.25 so excited bless them..... tried to put on my most convincing happy and excited face.

My af finally started sunday and it is one from hell...i'm so heavy and feel so drained by it......had a hospital appointment yesterday it wasn't my usual guy, the woman was nice though and felt that she didn't want to alter anything just yet and that she would speak to my psych Monday and discuss whether they need to add a small amount of anti d or just ride it out a little longer on the depakote as it will only 3 weeks tomorrow that i will have been on it and the lowness maybe more to do with my af.

Original poster
Crawling · 09/04/2013 07:18

Juney Happy Birthday! I alao have my period its a bummer for sure how often do you see your pychiatrist?

I am still feeling manic but I double my anti pychs today so hope that will help with it. I am really pleased they gave me a med to help with the akathisia it was horrid.

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Juneywoony · 09/04/2013 07:49

Thank you!

It is usually every four weeks although has been three weeks this time and with the crisis team involved, think their out of it now though unless i ring them as Psych is back on Monday from his hol's.

Re my af it doesnt usually affect me so badly i tend to have a bad one either every other or one in 3 but this last one the PMT build up for over a week a lot worse than usual and usually it goes when i finally come on but it hasn't this time.....wondering whether my tablets have made it worse!?!

Hope the med's work quickly for you hun, xxx

Original poster
Crawling · 09/04/2013 07:56

Hope your af settles down soon.

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nenevomito · 09/04/2013 09:03

To be fair to my care co, like all of them she has a massive work load. MH services in my area are vastly under funded.

Original poster
Crawling · 09/04/2013 09:08

I often go a month without seeing mine when im well I dont mind as if I call in saying im ill she is round within a few days and upps my visits to weekly with phonecalls every other day. I dont mind going a month when mildly ill or well so she can use hrr time to visit people very ill more frequently and that includes me.

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nenevomito · 09/04/2013 10:25

Happy birthday from me too Juney.

Cc's not replied to my txt from yesterday so may be on leave or busy. I had an appalling nights sleep. Up in the night, woken by DH so many times. I'll either sleep v well tonight or make do with less. I'm not feeling tired today at all. Sleep is a big factor in my MH.

nenevomito · 09/04/2013 15:24

I am feeling so, so, so edgy this afternoon. I think its because I had such a shit night's sleep last night so am really tired.

Original poster
Crawling · 09/04/2013 15:55

It happened big row with my mum ive had to run the kids round all day two have a special needs and they arr. Tired now she wanted me to jump her car and follow her to the garage because iterwise she has to do it at 7 tomorrow.

Now my kids are tired I am going through withdrawal and side effects so I offered to jump start the car and then she could walk home (dp works there and does it daily) She started screaming about how much she does for mw and the kids including helping out today.

I said ok ill do it she said no im selfiah and alwayas have been I reminded her I am going manic suffering withdrawal and my twlemper is short.

To which she snapped there is always something pissing wrong with you cue huge row and me leaving with my dc.

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nenevomito · 09/04/2013 16:43

oh heck crawling, that sounds stressful. Not what you need right now.

Original poster
Crawling · 09/04/2013 16:58

I know I could have done it and she had hlped out all day but I was tired the kids were tired and meltdowny and I just wanted to go home have take away and a nice bath. Plus I hate it when people use a favour against you.

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nenevomito · 09/04/2013 18:22

Well I've just found out why I've not heard back from my care co, she's been put on other duties and will be away for 3 months. Got a letter dated 4 days ago when I got home. Meh.

Yes, its hard when you're knackered isn't it Crawling. Hope things are better tomorrow.

Original poster
Crawling · 09/04/2013 18:26

Did they give you someone ekse to call? If not phone reception and ask who is covering her work.

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nenevomito · 09/04/2013 18:31

Yes I have a name but I CBA to call. I'm just in an arsey mood as I don't think a text would've been that difficult to send.