we were all in the bed, this is the 2nd thread....roll over! roll over!

[ThatVikRinA22]

so we all rolled over and hellebelles told us to get our arses out of bed......

ive started a new one because there are only a few posts left on the old thread before it gets full.

nana ive described myself on the old thread just for you!

so.

nana hellesbelles mama ed silvery and basset and any one else who posted on the old thread or who relates to our experiences and wants to post on the new one....welcome to the new thread.

old one here

Thanks for all the kind words, much appreciated and needed. vicar, I'll think of you tomorrow.

Thinking of everyone else too. Difficult to post from my phone

Dear SnowyMouse, a little note to send you hugs. Always remember that you are a thoughtful and caring person, just from what I have seen on this thread. We will be here for you

MKxxxxxx

Huge hugs.

As others have said hold on to the fact that it is up to 6 months.

Me. Im in bed. Feel a little calmer and more grounded re friend tonight so i think I'll sleep. I'm not actually sleeping much during the day. So I don't think that's whats stopping me. Between getting in bed monday night and getting in bed tuesday night I probably only slept 6-8hours. My mind just wouldn't shut down. But wouldn't let me do anything relaxing either.

but I'm very...very something. I'm very foggy. Very non functional. I got lost between dd3s school and dtds school. Found myself driving down the middle of the road...bit spaced out. Thought I was lost between dtds school and home. Forgot to use sidelights at dusk. Dropped a plate in my wok of pasta. Forgot to add garluc. Forgot to take garlic bread out of oven. Can't follow a text concersation no matter how many tomes I read it (but doesn't help that friend changed her mind part way thru and left me thinking I had misunderstood initially. Just feels like a punch in the teeth when she knows how I am. Just made me lack confidence in myself when I'm having a day where I'm struggling to keep it together.

Anyway. Enough about me. Thinking of you snowy. Hope they can get ypu stable as quickly as possible. Waves and hugs to everyone else.

Thanks mk and Ed. Sounds like lots of people are having a rough time at the moment. Group hugs, it's nice to have contact even just cyber.

Good night all.

thank you snowy - hang on in there lovely. It will be fine. You just need a bit more help to find your feet. You have sounded very together where others are concerned on here, but maybe being in hospital will help you to just focus on you and getting well, - keep posting though. even if its just a "hi" and "im still here" from the phone. I am thinking of you. You deserve to feel better, so just take things day by day. dont worry about the bigger picture - i am sure you will not be there for months....dont focus on the section number - focus on the fact you are now going to get some intensive help to feel better. the more help the less time it will take.

ed im sure the sleep thing is related to the argument - im sure i would be the same. It will work out.

Anyway - i need sleep. my eyes are streaming. DD is being bullied at school....long story. my house was "egged" at the weekend. She is feeling ill and im wondering if she will get to school tomorrow.shes not sleeping either. ive got my ent appt and then inspectors visit. i need to jot down some stuff for that and tidy house....feeling a bit powerless where DD is concerned. she talked to a teacher today thank god. not heard from DS today either....ominous silence.

ive not even seen DH today. feel bad about that too....spent day grafting at stables. i would love that as a job....the time just goes but im going to come back to earth with a huge bump fairly soon.

self indugent musings over with now, and love/hugs/ to all and a good nights sleep hoped for everyone. x

Slept better but not great. Still tossed and turned for ages. Settled between 1 and 2 so got about 5-6 hrs sleep.

Its not just the argument per se. Its the fact that I am seriously doubting my already fragile mental health. And I feel as if I am having my fragile mental health used against me which is what is making me so so cross.

Thanks vicar, I hope you got some sleep. Sorry for your dd, it's not on. Hope your DS gets in contact with good news. I Jordan your appointments go/went well.

.ed I'm sorry about your sleep, and people using things they shouldn't against you isn't on.

Well I've just slept all morning. Woken by the telephone.

Need to pop to the butchers and post office. Need to get a mothers day card. Need to get some salsa I think. Need to vacuum. Ive been trying for 3 days.

How are ypu feeling snowy?

morning everyone.

how you doing snowy? how was your night?

ive been to ENT and had a camera stuck up my nose....(yuk!!) my vocal chords are very very inflamed. ive got to get the reflux under control. Interestingly the consultant said working nights increases acid production as does stress. i think im done for then....he says there are no changes to the voice box as yet but he says with the level of inflammation there could be in years to come.

i did my good deed of the day and gave a complete stranger a lift home - her DD had to leave her at hospital and go to work...so i gave her a lift home to save her walking. (elderly lady) hope she didnt pass judgement on my muddy little car...

the reflux thing is bothering me hugely - im on so many meds though and nothing is working. I know i must stop drinking too.

i slept solidly but not for very long last night - consultant said my eyes were red....that may be cos i didnt get to bed until 2am....

anyway. id best get house tidied (its a tip. im putting it off.)

i think the consultant was flirting with me.... he was a very smooth french bloke....asked me how old my kids were and when i told him he asked how old i was....was shocked and said i looked a lot younger. Then when i asked if he needed to see me again he said 'only if you want to darlin''
was quite funny. Think he must have form as the nurses were laughing....

dreading this visit this pm from inspector....best move my arse and tidy up.

hope everyone else is ok. I think i need to step my job hunting up a notch. Clearly stress, nights, lack of food and chewing gum, drinking too much wine are all taking their toll now on my physical health.

vic can I pm you?

I'm still churning. And churning. And churning. Might help if someone could give me an objectove opinion on the argument. Will be later tho.

I didn't sleep much, not doing great, hope to see a dr today.
Ed and vicar, thinking of you both in tricky situations.

Hope it's gone well vicar and that things are clearer. Ed happy to give an opinion if you want a 3rd one. snowy can you have a nap?

Thanks silevery

I'll try and message later...but I have just found out that I have therapist appoibtment tomorrow....so need to spend the next couple of hours fabricating my behaviour activation diary.

I'm glad your getting some progress ua

I've done as you did in the past, been informal but with no leave allowed, effectively worse than being sectioned in terms of rights etc.

I've been to on edge for naps, met the new consultant and they are trying to put together some initial plans. My family may try and spring me on Sunday for Mother's Day.

Good luck with your diary, think about things you could have done

ed feel free to pm me.

had meeting with inspector - am feeling a bit funny about it all now. i think they just want shut of me anyway by the sounds of it - but they are clearly worrying that i would say i was "driven" out....so seems they are going through the motions.

not sure what to do.

its been suggested i move district. a move would mean i was much nearer home and a completely new start but that scares me - unknown people and unknown district - same job - same shite - less hours in a different place.
they think my application to work less hours would be approved.
case conference looming - im thinking that cant be a good thing.....i could take a career break of up to 3 years. im going to apply for a job that is 2 yr fixed contract....its with the council and less money but is full time and about family interventions.
more up my alley i think. and not too far from home.

closing date is a week away so will do application tomorrow.

It'll be fine. This thread is a pretty accurate resume of my life for the last few weeks.

I have to do 4 weeks. 1 week I was at centre parcs. 1 week I spent a large amount of in bed with bad chest. This week I've been in bed unable to sleep. Which only leaves me one week to sort.

It's the dog earing the paper...changing pens onr day to the next etc. That takes the time

Oh and as ever as your twin....currently waiting for a phone call from another parent about dtd1 being bullied...sigh...I don't feel able to deal with this tonight...

Is this where you come when the anxiety gets too much then? Can i do that terrible thing and mark my place? Started on diazepam today - it does makes me feel a bit weird, but im not climbing the walls

feel free to join in and mark a place for when you need it lucyellensmum the more the merrier.

hey ed - funny how our lives are running in parallel right now....

on a high note DD got her GCSE results today - Bs and Cs so she is thrilled with that. Im not dealing with this whole bullying thing well either - i acutely embarrassed DD yesterday.
she didnt go to school today - was feeling ill and looking ill but i phoned to get her GCSE results which were great. She has only 7 weeks left to go before study leave....

Thats great about gcse results vicar. Ive just pm'd you a bit of a ramble. Gonna try and copy and paste it to silvery.

Welcome lucyellensmum. We tend to retreat to bed when it gets too much...then we lie in bed rantinv to each other...trying to motivate each other to get out of bed etc...

Other childs mother didn't ring...dunno what she wanted to acheive because as far as I can tell shes the bullies mum and my dtd1 is tge one being bullied...I can't think clearly enough to know what to do about it...

pm'd you back ed....not sure my own ramble will help....

probably a good thing other mum didnt ring - its bloody hard to process stuff as it is.

id just have an idea of what it is you need to say if she does call....how is your dd? has she spoken to anyone else about it? at school maybe? if she calls just try and stay calm, let her say her bit and then let her know what you need to.

im a fine one to advise....i msgd the bloody ring leader on FB....not recommended. dd was horrified but it did drive her to speak with a couple of trusted teachers.

im shattered - lack of bed yesterday catching up with me so i should get some sleep....

ill check pms again in morning ed. hope you get some sleep.

hope everyone gets some sleep tonight....im busy trying to read between the lines of what inspector said to me....second guessing, reading hidden messages that may or may not be there...feel a bit daft but slightly paranoid. i get feeling they wish id just piss off. all masked nicely with respect for diversity speak....

Huge thankyou to vicar and silvery.

Hidden messages...de ja bloody vilu!

The bully is a bit of a queen bee character and has been for a while. At the moment I can't help but think it's all a bit low level and petty. Mostly nsme calling. Its the inciting others to join suit which is most hurtful. I dunno how long to leave it before contacting school...if at all. I have spoken to dtd1 and believe that it is pretty much one sided. She seems to have triggered it when she accidently 'stabbed' other girl with a pen. Think dtd1 was tryinv to scribble something out on a brainstorm sheet...bully disagreed...tried to stop her...her hand got in the way. This was a couple of days ago. Since then bully is getting everyone else to clise ranks...push chairs into dtd1. Call her names. Pull faces etc. I should say all these girls were 'friends' a week ago. So now dtd1 has no allies. And I don't know how to deal with it. I don't know if I can deal with it in my current state.

I should also say that dtd1 isn't eating properly. She also has a history of self harming...so need to keep a close eye on that...

now, vicar you know this wretched dog makes us all paranoid so try (difficult) to accept the inspector's words at face value. is it worth writing down what was actually said to refer back to whenever your brain strts looking for "hidden messages"?

it sounds like you have four options:

resign
take three year career break
stay where you are on reduced hours
move stations/districts

how would each one work for you?

the sooner the school knows about it, the better ed they may be able to provide some counselling for dd.

snowy hope you had a better night and are starting to settle a little. when will you find out if you can have Sunday at home?

hi lucy sorry this awful disease has driven you here but you are more than welcome - pull up a keyboard and wade in!

ua it's hard to be honest with these people. it seems that we all have a need to please (that probably drives this stupid condition) which can prevent us admitting hos bad things are. cbt was Brill for me. made me think straight

hi to silvery, mama, nina and anyone else I have missed because it's half six and my brain doesn't lick in til bedtime!

as for me, I am in full-on prevarication-mode. no studying done this week and very little last. house disgusting. takeaways for tea (these cannot be afforded). haircuts required by ds and I but spent the money on takeaways! roll on Tuesday when my replacement rod is fitted. hopefully, next week or the following week, I should start a refresher course of cbt.

sorry - that should be procrastination. not sure what prevarication means so hope it's nothing too dreadful