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Original poster

we were all in the bed, this is the 2nd thread....roll over! roll over!

954 replies

ThatVikRinA22 · 02/02/2013 01:26

so we all rolled over and hellebelles told us to get our arses out of bed......Smile

ive started a new one because there are only a few posts left on the old thread before it gets full.

nana ive described myself on the old thread just for you! Smile

so.

nana hellesbelles mama ed silvery and basset and any one else who posted on the old thread or who relates to our experiences and wants to post on the new one....welcome to the new thread.

old one here

OP posts:
Unfortunatlyanxious · 05/03/2013 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SnowyMouse · 05/03/2013 20:42

PS vicar, I do find it odd how much the crisis team are doing when I have friends who aren't even allowed to phone them(!)

EdwiniasRevenge · 05/03/2013 21:14

Manages a feeble group hug.

Im not any different to earlier/last night.

Hugely appreciative of snowy dragging me kicking and screaming through the day and vicar taking charge of the nightshift last night. And everyone else's kind words.

Sorry there are once again strugglers. I blame pmt in my case.

Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 05/03/2013 21:49

pmt - is a bastard. last week i got very very weepy - i attribute it to pmt.

ed its hard when we find that our friends and allies are not on our wavelength - i hope its just a blip.

(hugs) right back - group and all.

i could have so easily gone back to bed this morning....but gp appt kept me up. i didnt sleep until 2am and then was awake at 6.30 but had horrible horrible horrible night mares - i woke up screaming again, literally, - i dreamt my abusive little shit of a stepfather was chasing me....when i got up i had a horrible mark on my neck - i think i must have been clawing at myself to get him off me.

these dreams are just awful and im finding it all very difficult to cope with.

i probably should have mentioned it to gp but i forget things all the sodding time.

im so scared of going back to work. walking through the door is going to kill me.
and ive still no real idea of where to ask to go. i felt brave this morning.
not so now. its all getting a bit too real.

OP posts:
EdwiniasRevenge · 05/03/2013 21:57

Huge huge hugs to vicar.

I know that phsycologically its not the same but I once dreamt my head had been cut off and I was constantly trying to twist it and sew it back on the right way but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get it on the right way. When I woke up I had the most painful sore throat I've ever had.

Fortunately I very very rarely dream about childhood stuff.

Right I'm going to sew up my crocheted mushroom.

TheSilveryPussycat · 05/03/2013 22:47

vicar I reckon the fear of going back may be worse than actually going back. And remember, you'll be giving the police a last chance, not the other way round.

Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 05/03/2013 23:36

absolutely TSP and thats what i need to hold on to. That this is their last chance with me....not my last chance with them.

it will be their loss. They can help me and find hours to suit me so that i can better juggle home and work or they can let me go.

GP said today that the force needs people like me.
shame the force doesnt do more to help people like me then. I feel stifled and silenced. I cant say what i feel or what i want to say for fear of being ripped to shreds for being soft.
but i am soft. thats me, and when soft is needed then im your man.
when people are waving knives soft works better than acting the hard nut ime. soft works better for gaining trust and understanding.
but it doesnt fit with the image or the rest of the force. i feel isolated and alone. and the stress of the job hurts. i just dont think im happy go lucky enough to deal with it. gut feeling is that ill go. but ill give it a whirl and see what happens.

OP posts:
EdwiniasRevenge · 06/03/2013 01:14

Arrrggghhh.

I can't sleep again.

As soon as I pick my book up my eyes get heavy. I can't concentrate and nothing goes in...as soon as I turn my light of I get fidgety and restless.

I feel like tidying and cleaning. But my dcs are light sleepers. And I know that as soon as I get out of bed I will want to sleep.

New symptoms for me. Struggling to adjust.

HellesBelles396 · 06/03/2013 06:41

snowy that's good and how are your thoughts now?

vicar if the people are more of an issue than the job, and a transfer is possible, it can't hurt to ask.

ed it does sound like you're having a rough time just now - do you have anything to stabilise your hormones in case that helps? I am getting my rod replaced because that worked well - until I forgot to get it replaced.

ua thank you but it was once - the rest of the time he was just inconsiderate (having sex with me when I was asleep, for example). what happened to you sounds much worse, what treatment are you having to help you process his behaviour towards you?

hi to all! Smile

putting off getting into shower so best go!

Unfortunatlyanxious · 06/03/2013 08:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SnowyMouse · 06/03/2013 09:56

Have you tried taking anything to help you sleep, Ed? I'm sorry that things are so rough at the moment, lack of sleep affects everything. My thoughts are not good, unfortunately.

Good luck with occy health UA and vicar

NanaNina thinking of you, hoping the HM is gone.

EdwiniasRevenge · 06/03/2013 10:20

Hi

I've never really had problems getting to sleep...waking through the night yes but not getting to sleep.

I think I settled around 2am. Just about to try and get a morning nap. I have done some brownie admin tho.

Feeling very foggy and groggy atm. Don't like it.

TheSilveryPussycat · 06/03/2013 10:41

Bleary here, level 1 and about to go back to bed.

Then have to tackle bombsite house.

Sending you some replacement thoughts "snowy". Actually have just remembered technique that might possibly help - imagine a snowman (quite appropriate), then imagine him slowly melting.

Sending good vibes to all, particularly NN

SnowyMouse · 06/03/2013 11:38

Crisis team feel that if anything, things are worse :( Waiting to hear if cmht are coming out today (as well as CT),apparently the computer isn't clear.

EdwiniasRevenge · 06/03/2013 14:01

Afternoon all.

I'm back to my old ways.

Still in bed. But I am getting up 2hrs early. And I kind of want to.

Hugs to all thru the dense fog.

TheSilveryPussycat · 06/03/2013 15:23

oops slept too long - heating was on in my room. Must have needed it.

snowy the computer system here is called Paris, I think the staff are underwhelmed by it, and I am Shock that as far as I can tell from talking to them, it can't even do a list of what meds someone was on and when, and why they were changed. So su's have to remember that themselves!

SnowyMouse · 06/03/2013 16:57

I have been sectioned under a section 3 :( waiting for transport now.

TheSilveryPussycat · 06/03/2013 17:02

Oh snowy, it's probably for the best, things couldn't really go limping on much longer like they have been. Have you packed toothbrush and paste, night things, phone charger? and something to occupy you?

And will you be able to post? I will be thinking of you, hope you won't be in for long. [hugs] [hugs] [hugs]

SnowyMouse · 06/03/2013 17:20

Section 3 means up to 6 months :(. I have some stuff packed.

HellesBelles396 · 06/03/2013 17:40

snowy I hope that, despite your concerns, this turns into a beneficial experience for you. We're all thinking of you xx

SnowyMouse · 06/03/2013 17:51

Thanks. I may be able to post from my phone, still waiting for transport.

NanaNina · 06/03/2013 18:57

Oh snowymouse so sorry it has come to this, but as others say it is probably for the best. You must be quite ill and at least you will be safe.
Really hope you can post from the hospital.

Thinking of you and hoping that the hospital stay will in the end help you to feel more stable and settled

Love NNx

SnowyMouse · 06/03/2013 19:19

I still can't believe that they have the right to keep me for up to 6 months, and I can't refuse treatment. :(

Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 06/03/2013 22:03

oh snowy - this must feel so overwhelming. Try and not fight it - go with it and tell yourself its up to 6 months - it wont be that long. You just need to get better and that will just take as long as it takes. This is a positive thing - i know it doesnt feel it but it will be - this is a step to intensive help to feel better.

Hugs to everyone else....

good to see you around NN
and ed maybe your body is just adjusting a bit....if you stay up does it make getting to sleep any easier?

im shattered (totally threw myself into stables today and didnt get home until gone 7pm...) and inspector is coming out tomorrow - i also have my ENT appt in the morning. ive no idea what to say to inspector. i need to try and find some clarity before tomorrow evening.
im worried now.

OP posts:
TheSilveryPussycat · 06/03/2013 22:46

snowy I was sectioned in 1993 (hypomanic) - twas the right thing as I had not slept for 4 days and had lost touch with reality. I was off the section by the end of 2 weeks, the meds brought me down really quickly.

I know your state is quite different, however in both cases there was/is a perceived (and my case actual) danger to myself or others. I may be wrong here, as it is obviously hard from just reading posts, but you seem coolly detached about your thoughts, which in itself may be a warning sign to the CT.

You also sound like a lovely person, I'm sure this will work out for the best.