we were all in the bed, this is the 2nd thread....roll over! roll over!

[ThatVikRinA22]

so we all rolled over and hellebelles told us to get our arses out of bed......

ive started a new one because there are only a few posts left on the old thread before it gets full.

nana ive described myself on the old thread just for you!

so.

nana hellesbelles mama ed silvery and basset and any one else who posted on the old thread or who relates to our experiences and wants to post on the new one....welcome to the new thread.

old one here

I always used to forget when riding in the winter that a horse is, among other noble things, a large ridable hot water bottle.

thank you basset

i love animals - all of them, but horses are for me i think - they get me and i get them. i cant ride them very well but on the ground we are fab....they are such a breath of fresh air. When they look at me i can see they are thinking, they are truly thinking, they act on instinct, and we seem to quite like one another. i get on with all of them at the school. even the grumpy ones are fine with me.

i so wish i could just win a little bit of money to invest for my riding instructor. i would happily work there for nothing.

Evening all.

I'm sorry ive been awol. Mn has had intermittent proboems all day on mobile site so I have been frustrated.

Anyways...I am also addicted to my new wii game...hence today has turned into tomorrow or maybe yesterday turned into today

I managed to stay out of bed all morning but secombed this afternoon. I am currently doing quite a bit of crochet so occupied myself with that this morning. Done some adminy jobs this evening.

Weds is my goid friends day off. She was going to take me yo uni and act as an advocate to get them to sort out my student finance but I haven't made an appointment....think she still wants to go to town tho....having said that shes been in a strange mood with me lately and I haven't had as much as a text so who knows??? It is a very demanding friendship in some ways but in other ways she is being my rock at the mo...so a bit delicate.

Anyways...I better sleep.

Happy birthday from a few days ago. I had intended to say happy birthday but I think I forgot.

Huge hugs to everyone that needs them. Huge pat on tge back for everyone that deserves it.

Good luck with occy health vicar. Good luck with your friend Ed

Good morning all.

Level 3, about to go for a walk.

Made the big mistake of a) not getting dressed b) going back to bed - where I slept and slept. Perhaps I needed it after friend's son last week, who is lovely but full on.

Wouldn't mind but it is a lovely day. Have lots of hoovering etc to do. At least I've had a shower.

well - i woke up at 6am to dd saying she wasnt going to school - i got up at 9.30, dressed (level 3 - no bonus points though) and walked the dog.

had occy health appt this afternoon - im slightly clearer about things i think. ish.

will update properly later though.

i could do with a duvet day - the drive today has wiped me out. Got a pal coming for lunch tomorrow, so will need to get up and get moving. DD back to school tomorrow.

ed hope you managed to see your friend.
snowy - well done on the walk - it was a nice sunny day for it.
spc - maybe not a mistake if you feel better for it.

hugs and waves to everyone else....x

The walk was fine, thanks. I'm glad occ health helped.

So glad you had a walk, snowy. I do find it makes such a difference to me, but am not managing to go for one myself atm. My usual quick walk is too muddy (

Maybe tomorrow, silvery? I'm aiming to go into town tomorrow I think.

In other news, I've been given til Friday to think about increasing my antipsychotic :( (I'd rather not as it makes me sleepy in the day).

Good evening everyone - hope all is well

just in from cubs - v tired but wanted to say hi.

hi helles

snowy - do the sleepy effects wear off after being on it a while? i remember when i started sertraline i was so so tired....took a couple of months but it wore off....it may be what you need to do and if there is no reason not to sleep when you need to then do it...see if it makes a difference?

i am confused about what to do re work.
ideally i think i would rather go part time and work at the main station where the group was much much more supportive...but it adds travel time and petrol costs - that said if i could reduce hours it wouldnt matter much. OHealth suggested i ask re this....

the station im based at is closer to home but the group are odd....we dont seem to be very close and there is a very "them and us" thing going on with them and the main station....which i always always found odd - we are all doing the same job, i dont get the weird rivalry. i was the only one from our station who went to our gaffers leaving do....i always felt more accepted and nurtured at the main station.....so im thinking of asking to move there (spent alot of my probationary period working there) and to reduce hours a bit.....really no idea how this would go down.
my other options are to take a "career break" or hand notice in.
i phoned up about the other job i applied for today - the contact mentioned in the ad wasnt there and they said they would phone me back....didnt happen. i think this may not be a good sign.....i just wanted to know if interviews had taken place yet or not so i can stop feverishly checking emails....

OHealth have said i need phased return anyway which means i would only work 4 hours a day for the first week back, increasing by one hour per day each week and also they recommended that i dont work alone for a bit.

i think im ok with that and i think i would rather move station to where the more friendly and supportive group are based....tellingly some folk from that group have contacted me where as no one from my own group has. i just dont fit in there and i told OH adviser that i dont feel i fit the culture - she kept smiling as if she knew something i didnt....maybe she hears that all the time. dunno.

she also referred me for more counselling. i know i need CBT. i know that if i go back to old group guilt will see me taking on lots of work again and some of them would like that. (means they get less work if i get more)

im quite confused. i only just feel like ive started feeling better.....im not even sure im ready to go back but i have to go sometime.

That sounds like a useful meeting, vicar, good to start working it out. The main station sounds like a better working environment. :)

It takes a long time for the sleepiness to wear off, many people find it doesn't - it's antipsychotics that give the stereotypical zonked out MH patient.

I'm level 3, waiting until after 9 so I can use my bus pass (if you aren't allowed to drive due to meds/MH you can get a free bus pass).

Well, I got into town and bought a mothers' day present.

I'm having strong suicidal thoughts today :( I have said to the person coming to see me tomorrow at 12.

Snowy I am sending you a hug.

You are an absolute dear and you have been a lovely addition to the thread. You have a gentle way with words which I admire a lot.

Is there something that you can do which normally helps you feel more peaceful or which could help focus your thoughts on something else?

I've got the tv on for distraction, and MN of course.

Vicar your post really reflects the long journey you have come through. Your time away has given you the breathing space to reflect upon what you need in your life and this comes through in your post.

A number of points seem to come across to me -

1. you preferred the work environment of the main station
2. you would like to work less hours
3. you are willing to travel further if you will be happier
4. you are a bit hesitant about a career break or handing your notice in
5. you were taking on more work than others (you need to watch out for this in the future regardless of job/life situation; protect and care for yourself)

What has changed about the job since you began?

Can you do anything pro-active/assertive to recreate or regain some of this?

Is the current situation due to the work environment or due to the nature of the work? I get the feeling you don't want to quit but you do and would it help if you could tease apart the underlying factors for these? It may help you understand what is driving these choices.

Could you approach any of the individuals in the main station who you think would be good and strong mentors for you? Could they help advise you and perhaps keep an open eye for any good vacancies there?

Where do you want your job to lead?

How do you give yourself enough space between balancing the needs at work and home and also in creating a good environment for you as opposed to focussing on others?

I am personally quite at fault in the latter and since being at home and sometimes saying I want a day of rest, in bed, in pajamas and making it about what I want as opposed what needs to be done/can be deferred is helping me regain some boundaries and sense of self and what I would like/need.

I hope I am not rambling on here.

Hugs to all x

NN hope you are okay; have you had your hypnotherapist appointment? Thinking back to your art therapy friend - could she perhaps make suggestions for whom you could see or approaches to try? You had mentioned that she wanted to keep work/friendship distinct (and fair enough) but she may have some insightful suggestions.

Snowy, what's on tv?

(totally outs self - we don't have a tv and I sometimes miss it)

Quiz programs, house programs, and antique programmes, I only get some channels as it's a portable aerial only.

The crisis team is coming around :(

My day has been going reasonably.
Lots of little jobs = a long list to cross off

After my vent the other day, I am still thinking about some of the suggestions and trying to decide how to proceed. Doing nothing (oxymoron if I ever heard one) doesn't feel like an option but I keep going back to the mental default of 'oh, maybe I am making too much of a fuss'. The thread TSP redirected me to brings back too many memories and 'tick that box' moments; to be truthful it made me panic reading through it. When it's one person's word against another, the person in a higher position of authority automatically has bonus 'honesty' points.

Snowy I ran away to get some errands done. Thanks for the reminder for Mother's Day! I have duly reminded DH as well. I used to enjoy quiz programs and it never fails to surprise me what is stored in my brain. Do you like history?

Snowy if you need the help and support, please let them help you. You sound like you have been having a tough day of it. I am sending kind thoughts your way. Take care.

Going through my little turmoil of life has made me realise how little I understand of mental health challenges. I hope that I don't write the wrong thinsg too many times, and I wish that I could help you all.

Sounds like a tough decision, mamakoula

I like history in a recreational sort of manner, sort of dip in and out level.