we were all in the bed, this is the 2nd thread....roll over! roll over!

[ThatVikRinA22]

so we all rolled over and hellebelles told us to get our arses out of bed......

ive started a new one because there are only a few posts left on the old thread before it gets full.

nana ive described myself on the old thread just for you!

so.

nana hellesbelles mama ed silvery and basset and any one else who posted on the old thread or who relates to our experiences and wants to post on the new one....welcome to the new thread.

old one here

Comfy in bed thanks nana

:)

Waves to everyone else....I need sleep....

Oh dead cannot sleep and have a full day of lectures tomorrow. Heart is racing. :(

Good morning all. They rang me at 22:30 last night to see if I was safe and said they are coming round today.

Shakin I'm glad your GP appointment went well. Glad you're comfy Ed
Thanks Nana that's a good idea. I hope you got some rest if not sleep MT

Level 2 here.

Glad you are ok Ed
MT I'm really sorry I haven't got your circumstances in my head but I will go back because there are several others I need to keep in my head. My friend suggested I keep a hand written file!! What course are yo doing - it sounds like you were extremely anxious last night. Trouble is when we can't sleep and know what we have to do next day, we get more anxious. Oh lord you posted at 02:31 - you must be shattered.

Hello snowymouse I honestly think the CT are concerned for your welfare and are doing their job, by checking up on you. It's nice to know that there is still good care in the NHS. Let us know how today's visit went.

I've been thinking Vicar - it probably would be best to go back to your job (I know I know!) but part time if possible. If you apply for jobs now, your reference from the police will almost certainly state that you resigned because of health problems, which is not going to look good, whereas if yo can stick it for a while longer when you feel up to it, you could apply for jobs and just resign in the the normal way. On the other hand you do sound soooo much better than when you first posted, and a big reason is because you no longer have the stress of the job, which pushed you over the edge, and that could happen again if you go back. I think you said somewhere that you could afford not to work - if that's the case I reckon that's the answer - not for always but until you really are back on your feet again, which you will be in the future.

I'm sure you have already thought of all this and I think you mentioned "walking on a tightrope" and this sums it up very neatly.

My HM was snooping his head around this morning, trying to decide whether to wake or not, but thank god he seems to have gone back to sleep. He's such a deceitful bugger though he can play all sorts of tricks!

I am going to see my DGD (almost 13) in her school play tonight. It's Bugsy Malone and she has a reasonably big part as one of the bad boys gang. I'm so proud of her, even for auditioning because she has always been shy about things like that, but is beginning to be more confident.

Hi to everyone else.

That sounds sound advice for vicar, NanaNina

My psychiatrist rang and said she wants to see me this week some time, and to increase my antipsychotic. I will try to see her. She is also putting pressure (her words) on re: going to the day hospital.

I hope the play is good, good luck to your DGD.

I think I'm going to make a level 2 (sleeping bag), whereby I'm dressed but curled up in my fleece sleeping bag on the sofa.

Fleece sleeping bag sounds great, snowy

Have had a duvet day today, I really needed one as getting teeth and libido return sorted has 'over-clocked' my nervous system. So have had a really good night's sleep followed by 2 deep day-time sleeps.

Use this if you need it nina

oooo a slanket! i could use one of those.....

nana thank you - i think im trying to steel myself to that way of thinking anyway - but just not yet. just cant imagine going back, but i know its going to come eventually. im actually dreading it.

Good luck in sedating that HM....can you slip something in his tea? tranq gun might be quicker though...

enjoy the play tonight.

hi to snowy and silvery

i went back to bed this morning but builders still here (albeit outside) so snoozed rather than slept due to intermittent noise.

when i got up at 11 i did get dressed and sort hair and face though.

I'm glad you got the chance to have a duvet day, silvery

Well done on getting up at 11, vicar

Just checking in.

Ok day. Up about 8am. Dd3 had nightmare fever but settled with ibuprofen.

3hrs at the pool.

Lots of cooking.

Now sitting with my new tunisian crochet hook learning a new skill...

Struggling tho. Really struggling. The other adult is lovely but I don't know him well enough to know properly how to handle him....its making me very tense. Very unsure. Very anxious.

Ho hum...not sure if I want to be here...

hey ed - is there a private space you can take yourself off to when you need to?
it all sounds like its a bit much. enjoy what you can but dont be afraid to just excuse yourself either and go to your room.

i am really trying to think about what i need from work - i think im going to ask to drop a night shift and start slightly later on the early shifts - ill try that for a start and see what goes.

i must call doctor tomorrow - i tried today but they have a new system and phone appointments are limited. need to get up early tomorrow - i have been up really early every day but today i just needed to go back to bed - that said 11 is good for me as normally if i do go back to bed i struggle to get up at all....

anyway - goodnight everyone x

Ed don't be scared to have a 'strategic headache' that needs rest in a darkened room...

Can I join? just reading through to catch up - hope you get your appointment todayvicar

That sounds a packed day, Ed. I hope you managed to get some space. I hope you get through to make the appointment, vicar.

Good morning all, level 2 (sleeping bag), I've got builders coming today hopefully.

Good morning.

I have a thumping headache.

Dd3 has a hacking cough.

Had a bad experience in the night (the way the curtains are formed a ghostly shadow which looked just like tge ghost of dd3 hovering over her body....just like you see in the death scenes in films. With her being poorly it really freaked me.

My whole body aches.

I want to be at home in bed...actually i like this bed but cant stay here all night....

Sorry theres no personals...im jyst using this as a bit of a venting space at the mo.

Waves to all.

Oh Ed I was worried about this holiday as it all sounded a lot to do given your emotional equilibrium is fragile (same for all of us I think) The dream sounds horrid but you must try to put it out of your mind. Where are you in the "programme" now - wondering how long it will be before you are home. Your friend must know you are a bit wobbly, can't you just tell you need some rest and stay in bed for a while, or does that mean she has to look after your 6yr old (think that's the right age).

SPC thanks for loaded HM traquilliser gun! He's asleep today - oh the relief!

Snowymouse how are YOU - you are very good at responding to others posts but don't say how you are! The fleecy sleeping bag sounds good. You don't have kids do you, as you never mention any. If that's the case you can be really self indulgent. Have the CT been yet - if so how did it go. If they are coming later, let us know how you got on. I know they are worried about your psychosis but you certainly don't sound out of touch with reality on here quite the reverse.

Welcome Pixwik can you tell us a bit more about yourself, so you lodge in my aged brain cells. Mind I asked someone else to do this the other day and I think I scared her off......it's only cus it's a big thread and it's hard to remember everyone.

No, no DC, just DNs (of both varieties). Either CT or my CPN have visited me each day. I have an appointment to see my psychiatrist on Friday, she wants to increase my meds dose and wants me to think about going to the day hospital

Maybe you could ask psych what she think the advantages are of going to day hospital. Presumably they want you to be less isolated and that might not be a bad thing. Could you negotiate going for just a couple of days a week if she is insistent. Remember that day hospital is an alternative to inpatient that you really don't want.

I really can't face the day hospital, too much pressure, I'm sure I'll get to discuss on Friday though...

The builders only did measuring today, feels a bit of a wasted day!

Just a quickie while ibhave wi fi.

Up and down day.

Dd3 is being difficult.

I just feel that I have 3 of the children here I should bare more of the burden.

She knows I feeling ill tho.

I just feel so fragile and shaky tho.

I thought it would do me good to get away but I jist feel so much pressure to put on a 'brave face'. I just feel thaf I can't be me....that I have to perform...but performing is so hard at the mo. I know I dont HAVE to...but that doesn't stop me from feeling like I have to. I just wasnt expecting these emotions ...I thinkbits just telling me how ill I am. I dont thhink it is the being away....I think it is the social needs of me being away if that makes sense.

And brownie points to nana for rembering dd3s age.

Waves...hugs...hand holding as appropriate to everyone else.

Oh ans I almost cried when I just looked at the time....feels like 10pm....

Big hugs Ed, sorry it's so tough for you right now :(

I dont think it would have been so bad if I had moderated my expectations (mental health wise). It just seems so much worse because I hadn't anticipated how hard it was going to be.

I think you're right, and it's not something you want to be dealing with either :(

Can you fit in even a short nap, or is that a no go on holiday?

oh ed im so sorry - can you do anything that makes you feel any better? if that really isnt happening then you will be home again soon. huge hugs (i just typed huge jugs if that helps raise a smile....)

welcome pix and a hug to everyone else too.

im so tired but while the buidlers have been here ive been up at 8am latest and awake from much earlier.

im struggling a bit as im tired and worrying about work again. Doctor has signed me off again thank god but ive got to go back at some point and to say i am dreading that is an understatement - and i will have to deal with all the pissed off colleagues and questions and i just dont want to.

hey ho.

glad HM is tranqed nana....slip something into his tea....

hope you are ok snowy

and im sorry i dont name check all - my brain really is puddled - i forgot to switch the slow cooker on today.

I hope your building's going ok vicar, mine only did measuring today. Hopefully the apprehension is worse than the reality

I'm past the worst of the evening, taking my antipsychotic makes my head fuzzy, which I think is why they want me to take some in the morning too. :(