Driving away

[Pumble]

I don't know where to post this and don't know what to do. I'm sitting here crying again with my 5 week old dd2 and just know that the best thing I could do for both of my girls is to get in the car and drive. If dd2 ever goes to sleep that is what I must do. I won't be leaving them alone and it will break my heart but it's what will be best for them. They deserve so much better than the useless failure of a mother they have.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I guess to feel less alone

Deep breathing is good - 7/11 even better.

7 breaths in, 11 out - it really does help with the nasty panic bit. I've suffered from bad panic & anxiety & I still have to remind myself to do that breathing ........

We are still all here for you & ever will be, but please don't let your thread vanish & let us know where it goes. Just 'report' your original thread to MNHQ & tell them where you would like to be & am sure it will appear like magic.

((( xxxx )))

Just popped by to see how you were this morning - hope you had some good sleep last night.

Not a bad nights sleep and pumblett1 was brilliant this morning at a gym session and watching her be do confident really helped me to smile. Feeling quite flat this afternoon but am ok.

And swooooooop! Up you go on the PND rollercoaster! (And then along on a flat bit for a min).

Glad you're feeling better today, xx

Another one glad you're feeling better. More hugs xxx

Just wanted to wish you all a good weekend.

The rollercoaster continues and I fear I'm snapping at mr pumble too much but the girls and I are having happy times which is good.

Shoe shopping for pumblett 1 today....must remember to rob a bank on the way!!!!!

Pumble, you have come so far and done so well, you obviously adore your little girlies, it comes through in your posts. Keep posting on here and we will always help, or try at least! You should be very proud of yourself, we are :-)

^^ What 50Shades said. I hope you have a good weekend with minimal shopping stress - both on your lovely self and your purse. :)

Hope your shopping is done by now & the rest of the w/e is good!

No shoes needed . I love pumblett 1's slow growing feet!! Off to the park in the rain now . Lots of puddles I hope!

:)

Hello Pumble must have accidentally hidden your thread! What a clot. Rollercoaster or not you are still posting and for every dip there'll be a solo bedtime by Archers victory. Have a lovely day (snow here!).

Another solo bedtime achieved although not as successful as it did finish with me crying downstairs on the sofa whilst pumblett 1 whinged but I'm trying to think positive and think the fact they both went to sleep at a decent time is good even if bloody hard work!!

Does the rollercoaster of pnd ever slow down/stop?

I've had the thread moved to mental health where I think it won't get deleted so you can't get rid of me
after 90 days!

Hi again Pumble solo bedtimes are hard work, I remember putting pressure on myself arranging for a pal to come round one night when DH was away. I must have looked like I'd walked through a tornado by the time the friend arrived - oh and had to leave a post-it on the door saying Please DO NOT Ring Bell!

Well done for achieving it! Even if it took a bit longer.

Hooray for moving the thread!

We never want to get rid of you - I think of you so often & wonder how you are doing.

((((xxx)))

It all gets easier I promise. Right now you have two little teeny ones and its constant, gruelling and relentless as they demand so much of you.

But as they get older it gets so much better as they start to do things for themselves. My DS is 3 and we can negotiate, he can be bribed, he understands my explanations (and sometimes chooses to believe me ), he is potty trained and can do everything bar the final bum wipe, he can undress and dress himself mostly, we walk everywhere, he has fewer tantrums, he plays really nicely with his sister at least...oh.... 25% of the time . DD is older, Year 3, and is started to cook simple meals, bring me toast and help with simple chores. She can put herself to bed and DS is not far off. Both of them sleep through the night consistently and say all sorts of lovely stuff like 'You are the bestest mummy in the world' and 'your tummy is so lovely and jiggly mummy, just like jelly'. Today we were all in hysterics as DD stomped off in a strop, threw herself down against the sofa and a pile of folded washing waiting to go upstairs fell on her head and covered her completely. I'm chuckling now remembering the look of surprise and shock on her face.

Soon your littlest will be walking, they will begin to play together, you will start to drop some of the baby paraphernalia and begin to have longer breathing spaces in the day when you can stop and take stock for a bit.

I kept a calendar in my beside drawer and crossed off each day with a defiant 'well thats one day closer to sanity' as I counted down to DS's first birthday. It was so slow at the time but now it seems decades ago and I don't have that looming gloom and lethargy anymore. I still have low days but I can recognise them and be kind to myself, taking it easy and cutting a few corners here and there. 90% of the time I wake up feeling better the next morning. Most of the low days are caused by not having enough time to myself (my DH travels a lot and family are busy/far away), but now the DC are older they are happy to play lego in DD's room whilst I read next door which helps.

Take care of yourself xx

Well, as some of you saw, it's been a funny day due to certain people and their judgey pants...!

Why is it when you feel under control with one thing, other things come and get you! My granny is very ill in hospital, rather unexpectedly, but lives the other end of the country which is making it harder to come to terms with. The one positive of today is that mr pumble's work trip has now been definitely postponed for a couple of weeks which is a great relief.

I did get a little grumpy with pumblett 1 when we were painting earlier which I feel awful about but I hope that the tickling before bath time will have made up for it a little.... Bless her, it wasn't her fault, I was just having one of those moments...

One day, life will be simple again won't it....?!

Oh yes straightforward bliss eventually, have faith!

NB masses of support on your other thread, glad to see. Rise above judgey pants!

Don't worry about getting a bit grumpy with Pumblette - no one is perfect all the time & learning that's part of growing up.

Hope today is better.

Two poorly pumbletts ....

What's up with the Pumbletts? Fingers crossed for you it's something they sleep off overnight.
DS has developed a charmingly 'productive' sneeze, no runny nose the rest of the time, but good grief he could rival Spider-Man's web shooters with his projectile snot...

Spider-Man snot sounds fun...

They've got temperatures and blocked noses etc. pumblett one is much worse and had almost lost her voice-she's v husky!! Mr pumble slept on the floor in pumblett 1's room last night as she kept crying out in her sleep. I think that makes it my turn tonight...

To add to the fun, inlaws are coming tomorrow afternoon and they hate me..... Oh joys!!!

Well the your in laws are really, really, stupid people.

I've never met you & I really like you.

Sending healing thoughts to coldy/snotty Pumblettes & lost of love to you.

Ugh, poor little Ps... Have you got a humidifier? Otherwise try leaving a dish of water on the radiator overnight to keep some moisture in the air.

Otherwise, wot Magi sed. :)

Pumblett 1 had a good night so fingers crossed this will have helped her feel better

Feeling v stressed about in laws but I keep trying to remember it will only be a couple of hours and then won't see them until the summer but those couple of hours are definitely long enough!