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Original poster

Driving away

999 replies

Pumble · 28/12/2012 00:52

I don't know where to post this and don't know what to do. I'm sitting here crying again with my 5 week old dd2 and just know that the best thing I could do for both of my girls is to get in the car and drive. If dd2 ever goes to sleep that is what I must do. I won't be leaving them alone and it will break my heart but it's what will be best for them. They deserve so much better than the useless failure of a mother they have.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I guess to feel less alone

OP posts:
Sunnywithshowers · 06/02/2013 01:01

Hi pumble I'd like to echo what others have said. Big hugs xxx

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 06/02/2013 09:09

How are you today Pumble?

Original poster
Pumble · 06/02/2013 09:36

Pumblett 1 had a lot of night terrors last night so not a lot of sleep was had by mr pumble or me. She doesn't seem to remember them in the mornings though which is a good thing.

Not feeling great but am guessing a lack of sleep isn't helping. Pumblett 1's Godmother is coming this afternoon so at least I'll be busy. Sorry for not being more positive!

OP posts:
magimedi · 06/02/2013 09:41

No need to apologise at all. Glad to hear you have a friend coming round.

At the w/e could you & Mr Pumble do a shift each of taking the Pumbletts out for a walk/drive so each of you has an hour to yourselves?

Hope tonight is better.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 06/02/2013 10:18

That's okay Pumble don't have to put on a brave face with us, we've all been there to some or other degree. Pretty traumatic for all concerned in the middle of the night. Hope you have a good time with DD1's godmother.

DeepRedBetty · 07/02/2013 17:25

Hello, hadn't been to see you for a while so I thought I'd call in. Sorry about Pumblett 1's night terrors. The way you write about them sounds like they're a regular event Sad. Did you enjoy P1's godmother's visit? I hope she's the sort of godmother you don't feel you've got to create a showhome for!

Am about to pm you about Something Completely Different btw.

Original poster
Pumble · 07/02/2013 19:12

Very tough day as pumblett 2 decided to scream all afternoon! Thankfully pumblett 1 was being a star which made life easier!

Yes, night terrors have unfortunately been a very regular occurrence over past month or so. I'm just pleased she has no memory of them in the morning.

Currently winding pumblett 2 and thinking I don't have the energy to go downstairs when I've put her down!!

OP posts:
DeepRedBetty · 08/02/2013 09:49

Goodness hope you made it down the stairs and aren't still up there Grin

How was last night? Did P1 manage to sleep through without having the heebie jeebies?

magimedi · 08/02/2013 12:05

Night terrors sound awful. Just a thought - there isn't a noise somewhere that's disturbing her sleep, like a freezer cutting in or something like a light going on or off? That can impact on dreams/sleep.

Hope you had a better night last night & it's nearly the w/e!!

geekette · 10/02/2013 21:50

hey pumble. I haven't been on for a bit. I see you had a few bad nights. I hope the winds have changed again!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 11/02/2013 12:14

Good afternoon Pumble saw a lovely young family when out shopping and thought of you, I wonder how you're getting on.

Original poster
Pumble · 11/02/2013 20:39

Sorry I've been quiet-just been wanting to hide away from everyone avd everything. Am putting on a brave face and pretending to smile but everything just feels like its getting worse and the light at the end of the tunnel is getting further away. I'm sitting here crying again and feel like I'm forcing this distance between mr pumble and me too.

OP posts:
Greenkit · 11/02/2013 20:59

Hey Pumble, havent posted but have been thinking of you. All my three had the night terrors and its so bloody draining, i love my sleep.

Thankfully they do grow out of it, although occasionally my DS will hold a full conversation in his sleep, even playing the piano..lol and he is 14.

Are you still taking the tablets? because it can taken ages before you are feeling fully better, took me 7 months before I could come of them.

The light may seem a little further away but at least its still there, you will always have off days, but as long as you know these will become less it should help you cope.

magimedi · 11/02/2013 22:41

Oh Pumble - I wish I could come round & give you some help.

Talk to Mr Pumble, please, try to talk to him & I know that's not easy where you are but the only way forward is communication. It will help you, I promise.

Send him this thread again, possibly?

What greenkit said is so true.

Hang on in there, lovely lady, you will come out the other side, I promise you that you will.

(((xxx)))

Sunnywithshowers · 11/02/2013 23:16

Hello lovely

I'm sorry you're feeling so rubbish. Is there any way you could tell Mr P how you're feeling?

Big squishy hugs to you xxx

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 11/02/2013 23:24

Pumble the first thing I was going to ask was, does your husband know you are feeling like this? The past few weeks have been so tough but the two of you have come through. He is the same loving concerned man you married and he knows how hard it's been - physically, emotionally. You both love DDs and he will realise how hard you've strived these past weeks. Lack of sleep, unsettled baby and demanding toddler = a lot to handle.

Have you been able to offload to other family or friends? We're still here but when things seem overwhelming it helps to speak about it to someone rl outside the equation. Open up if you can - it doesn't spell failure as a mother if you say sometimes it's hard work and you don't always have the answers.

The second thing is, are you keeping up the tablets? If you don't feel convinced they're having any effect, please don't give up on them, go and talk to your GP.

magimedi · 13/02/2013 13:32

Pumble - How's things?

Original poster
Pumble · 13/02/2013 14:58

Just a quick reply to say yesterday was a little better but have spent since 6 this morning vomiting so have had better days today. Another feed about to come for pumblett 2-hoping to manage this one without throwing up Hmm. Feel so so poorly which is most unlike me.

OP posts:
magimedi · 13/02/2013 16:00

Poor you - sounds like the horrid noro virus. Really hope the Pumblettes don't get it.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 14/02/2013 16:38

Sorry to hear you're not well Pumble try and keep hydrated.

Sunnywithshowers · 14/02/2013 23:39

Poor you Pumble. :( I hope you get better soon. xx

LittleBearPad · 15/02/2013 19:58

Hi lovely Pumble. Just popping in to say I hope you're feeling better and that you have a good weekend. You're doing so well even if it doesn't feel like it all the time. Big hugs

geekette · 15/02/2013 20:18

another one hoping for a good weekend for you. I've just had a bad week myself too.

Original poster
Pumble · 16/02/2013 07:25

Sorry to hear you've had a bad week geekette - hope the weekend is better for you.

I'm over the sickness which is good but it did completely wipe me out. Life is very much up and down which I know is to be expected but its really hard to cope with the downs... I worry I'm getting v snappy with mr pumble again which he really doesn't deserve but if I'm being honest this isn't helped by him working every hour in the day etc.... And seemingly he's feeling quite negative himself.

I don't know really. Not sure what I'm trying to say!

Although I'm not posting often its really good to know you're here and rooting for me... Thank you.

Hope you all have good weekends. Smile

OP posts:
TiddlyOmPomPom · 16/02/2013 14:35

Good to hear from you Pumble, doesn't matter how infrequently!
Honestly, you still sound so much better than before, your posts show that you're coping so much better even if it doesn't feel like it from your end.

Are you talking to Mr P about how you're both feeling? It's really hard not to phrase things badly when you're not feeling yourself, so take your time and try not to play Tiredness Top Trumps! :)

I often wonder how you're doing, but haven't been posting much, still thinking of you tho! x