Hi Emets mum.
Sorry for the long post but I think it's great that you are trying to help understand your DDs phobia. Also sorry if what I say doesn't describe everyone on here , I just want to give a rough snapshot into an Emets life.
The best thing you can do is to be understanding , its easier said then done , especially when she is freaking out and you are actually the poorly one. It's horrible, we feel so selfish and guilty and we feel like we should be comforting you when all we want to do it get the hell out of the situation. Last year was especially challenging for me as DH had two spells in hospital- kidney stones and hernia, and its a hell of a challenge A . Being in a hospital and B. sitting with your DH who had already V due to the pain , being concerned about him and shit scared of him at the same time!
Other people don't understand why we are scared , they say "well no one LIKES V " or they say yeah I've got that phobia too , but them mean they just find V unpleasant - in the same way people find diarrohea unpleasant , but I'm not scared of it. For example I'm also scared of spiders, but its not a phobia as such as the fear is no way on the same level as my emetophobia.
I never really was scared of the germs thing until a few years ago when the media went overboard with the N - it's a virus but no one here likes actually typing out the words of the things were scared of.
It is likely she is scared of bugs like N along with general V . Its horrible to be scared of both as when you are scared of things like N and bugs, a great deal of your time is spent being scared of something that might happen rather then something that is actually happening. For example you may say something casually like "oh there's a lot of that going around at the moment" - an emet will automatically presume the worst, that you are talking about N and it will be on their mind for most of the time. In the same vein, we are very good at sensing when something is up and can tell when people are hiding things from us , for example if my DH feels unwell , he tries to hide it, but I can always tell something is wrong . Or when my family try use other words for illness "I was bad/off/uncomfortable last night" , it almost makes it worse as it strengthens my fear as I think, it must be bad as they a trying to protect me. - Exactly, you can't win!
If she is near anyone that has N or says they had it, they often will count down the hours (incubation period of the N) and won't really relax until the time is up, although they will never 100% relax as the threat is always there.
Emets are happiest during the summer generally as that's when the N isn't as prevelent , we decide that it's called the Winter V B for a reason and try to relax more over the summer - although we are very aware that it happens all year . The summer brings its own dangers like BBQs ( once went to a bbq where the host used the same plate for cooked and raw meat ) - just stuck to the jacket potatos!
ThenSeptember comes (I know it's not winter but its when the schools go back and people mix more germ wise) and we freak out as its called the WVB for a reason . Then we try to relax ourselves thinking "it can happen all year, its no worse then during the summer, its just the media" - we try to reason with ourselves - not sure if I learnt that during CBT or not.
This winter I avoided all news , ever since the telegraph had on its front page " Winter V bug to ruin Christmas for thousands" , that caused quite a freak out as you can imagine.
I honestly don't know if there is anything you can do to reduce her phobia - if you discover anything let us know! I've been phobic since at least 7 years old as that's when my parents first noted my reaction to my brother being unwell (they thought at first I was crying as I was concerned about him - well I was but I just wanted to get out the bloody car!) . I spoke to the doctor about it a few years ago and got CBT for a few months when I was in my late teens, it made me try question my fear more but ultimately it didn't help. I tried hypnotherapy but didn't work - the chap just essentially told me to stop being scared! I'm now 28 .
I hope this has helped in some way, even if it is to just help you understand a bit more about what she is going through. Any questions just ask or feel free to pm me if you prefer.
Hope everyone is having a good and relaxing day .