Sertraline and any other AD's Support Thread Part 2

[PackItInNow]

Just a continuation from the original thread, which is due to finish soon. Anyone and everyone needing some kind words, and hand-holding, are more than welcome .

hi ladies.

hope everyone is having a good day.

my acting supervisor came out - ive put a big update on my thread in MH but just to summarise it went really well.

i had been tying myself in absolute knots but he came out this morning and just allayed all my fears in one fell swoop. He said i am to get well, take whatever time i need to do that, and stop worrying about work. He was absolutely lovely. He was here for ages. I could have cried with relief.

They want to help me, they want me to go back to work when im well enough and they will help me to do that. He is referring me back to occupational health.

My only regret is that he is only acting supervisor for now, and some of my problems at work had been caused by our normal supervision, but im trying not to worry about that just now.

Good news, Vicar. Take it for what it is. The worst fear of the weekend lifted, try and relax now.

Oh brilliant news vicar so pleased it went well, now you can focus on you and getting better.

I took my first tablet today and feel totally the same! No side effects of note.

I also feel like shit. I feel like I might explode but I can't, I am worried about things escalating, I don't know what the answer is though.

Just checking in.

Feeling a lot better, went to see GP yesterday and have another sick note for 3 weeks. That takes us until the new year. New year, new start. Now I have got a time frame to work to I can, hopefully, prepare myself for my return to work.
I go to occupational health on Monday and they will formulate a plan, I hope the management will adhere to it this time. I will also go back to the GP for a fit note stating the conditions advised by occ health, eg, office based for 2 weeks, working with someone for 2 weeks, reduced hours and no on call for at least 6 weeks. I also plan to have my union rep with me when I discuss this with my boss. I will NOT be fobbed off this time.
I want to be back in work but feel safe and confident, I believe that my employer has a duty of care to make that happen.

Lots of love to everyone xxx

vicar brilliant news. hope ur now feeling a bit more relaxed. As every1 said concentrate on U now & getting better!

I'm still having the horrible side effects. didn't eat nothing all day & only had a bit of dinner now but feel lyk throwing up (not gud). I wanna lose weight but wanna be able to eat a little at least LOL

my mum just commented "you have lost so much weight in 2 days" so me thinks I'm losing dramatically eventhough it's not intended!

shaky ur absolutely spot on, stand ur ground & stand up for urself. Hope u have a great weekend :)

thats great news shaky i really hope they stick to the plan this time.

PainForLife I found the side effects of Prozac dreadful, especially the loss of appetite. The nausea and bloated feeling if I did manage to eat was awful, I was also completely wiped out for weeks. I would take it in the morning but be sleepy by lunch time, then wide awake all night, repeat in vicious cycle. It helped to take the meds at night time so I would get some sleep and feel better in the morning. After gradually bringing the time forward, by 30 mins each day, I can now take them in the morning and feel much better. I have eaten tea for the last 3 nights in a row (which is progress)

shaky that sounds really positive :)

I am nervous about seeing my psychologist on Monday, he does this DBT thing with me where he will only talk about my self harm, and I hate hate hate it. I am not upset when I self harm, nothing happens before or afterwards really. And of course it is getting worse but DH is off work so I can't do anything really. I don't know what to say. I don't even know if I am sad.

May I join you all please? SirBoobAlot here (will be whipping off my festive hat soon!). I may be a bit of an odd thumb with my diagnosis, but hope that's okay...

I suffer Borderline Personality Disorder, have done for years. Came off my ADs and anti psychs a while back now, maybe six months, after doing a lot of reading about their relevance to my condition - BPD is also called Emotional Intensity Disorder, which sums the main symptom up nicely. I have extreme intense moods, and one tiny thing can make me horrendously low, and it happens so quickly that a lot of teams suggest ADs are ineffective. I've managed without my meds for a few months now, and was doing okay with it, but the last few weeks I've been constantly down.

Last night I had a huge melt down. Then I called DP by mistake, was trying to text him to tell him I was okay (he knew I'd been down and I hadn't replied to his texts, didn't want to worry him), hung up quickly, and when he called me back I just burst into tears. Was a bit of a mess when he got over physically and mentally. He was amazing, helped me clear up my arms (sorry if that's TMI), and then talked with me for a few hours. He's been so supportive when I came off my meds, didn't want to let him down by going back on them. He told me he was proud of me (?!) for having the melt down as it showed that my therapy course was starting to help, and that if I felt in myself that I needed to go back on my medication, then I shouldn't question that judgement, and that he would support me either way. He stayed over and hugged me all night. He really does get me through sometimes.

So I'm back on 60mg Duoloxitine. I kept a weeks supply when I came off them in case I needed to, and have a doctors appointment booked for Wednesday for something else anyway, so I can get more. I dunno, I can advocate for other people to go back onto their meds, and to see the GP, because its the right thing to do, but I feel like I've given in :( I'm rather a hypocrite.

Vicar I'm so pleased to hear it went well today, have been thinking about you.

Shaky taking your union rep sounds like a goo idea, really hope that the management team are more supportive than it sounds like they were last.

Painforlife I found the side of effects with prozac quite tough too. If you're struggling with feeling sick as the main problem, then you could request a few days worth of anti sickness pills from your doctor? I use them for another health condition, they do help.

Fluffy talking about self harm is so hard, isn't it? I have group therapy on Monday and will be asked if I've cut I guess the big question is do you want to stop? I was two and a half-ish years clean until recently, but right now I don't know whether I'm ready to stop again. Just be safe. x

Sorry for epic post. Hope its okay that I hang out with you all.

sirboobalot firstly welcome, secondly & most importantly ur not a hypocrite or failure for seeking the help u need. it's d right thing to do esp if ur feeling the way u r. so good yo hear u have someone who is understanding to support u through it :)

For me sertraline is helping massively stopping me feeling low & depressed and stops d horrible flashbacks I'm having but the nausea feeling is awful. I havent actually been sick though it's just the feeling of being sick. shaky thanks for the advice I'm going through exactly dat at the moment so I'll try out ur way. hopefully it'll work for me too!

Last night I had broken sleep again & I mean for god sake it's 10.30 & I'm still in bed whereas DD has been up for hours & is driving my mum&dad crazy!

self harm must be very tough to talk about I imagine. I had a pretty bad time last year & took a one too many pills but since then haven't thought about doing that kind off thing. dnt know about u but when u get to that point u just want the thoughts to stop & it doesn't matter how you achieve it.
right I need to get out of bed and have a & maybe I'll be adventurous and have a hope every1 has a good Sunday :)

hi all,

and boobs - you arent a hypocrite at all. You are recognising when you need some extra help - thats all.

im feeling more relaxed already. I got a good nights sleep, actually went to bed before midnight last night.

The bulk of my anxiety i think is around work. I have to find a way to deal with it somehow.

Hello everyone, may I also join please? I'm on 150 mg sertraline and have been for about 6 weeks or so. I built up gradually from 25 mg to try and combat side effects. I've been feeling lots better but over the last four days or so, I've really gone down the black hole again. I'm not able to sleep without a pill or taking a 'may make you drowsy' type medicine. I'm on edge and feeling very panicky and tearful and unable to sleep. I don't know if this is because ds1 has been ill and not sleeping well and DS2 is having to stay with my mum as he is too tiny to risk him getting the virus. Is it time to up the dosage after a chat with GP or is it best to see if things subside after ds1 recovers. Previously my therapeutic dose for PND was 150mg. I've been on 200mg in the distant past but I'm reluctant to go up due to weight gain.

Perhaps it's the miserable weather

Any advice at all? UnMN hugs all around.

hi feeno

i think what im finding is that i have really good days and then really bad days. I would see what your gp says, do you have another appointment or could you speak to them on the phone?

Id say that having a poorly little one is tiring and exhausting anyway, coupled with the fact your mum has your baby is enough to make anyone feel down and anxious.

Good afternoon ladies. How is everyone? Hope you're all hanging in there .

Hello SirBoob and Feeno. You're more than welcome to join the thread. Here one for your good self SirBoob and another for you Feeno .

Don't be afraid to share your burdens, after all, this is what the thread is about..........to let you share your burdens and hopefully we can all help each other in finding a remedy for you problems, however big or small they are .

The other thing is, I will give a verbal kicking to anyone who comes onto the thread being nasty. Especially to anyone who is on here needing support, but that's only because I started the thread and all you good folk are a massive support.

Anyway, enough of the soppy, sentimental shite and back to reality and finding solutions to problems (or as damn near to).

Had my birthday yesterday (35yo) and had a nice quiet one with 2 mates (C and M and M's DD(14). Had a lovely compliment from M's DD. She told me that she sees me as a 2nd mum. She also asked me if she could come to me for advice if she feels overwhelmed. I said yes and asked her why me? She said that I don't panic and let my feelings get in the way of making a good judgement on different situations.

I have to say I was pleasantly shocked and very flattered that a 14yo feel that she can come and get advice from me and DH . We had a good laugh as M is on meds for migraines and she is also on Amitriptyline for another type of migraine she suffers from. DD, M and me were having a laugh because her uncle was asking what she was up to and I dared M to text him saying she was on drugs (prescribed) and doing coke (Coca Cola) LOL. Well, M and her DD fall about the place laughing and then M told me that if she had sent a text like that, she'd have her ma on her back about it. The laughter was flowing and by the end of the night we were pissing ourselves laughing. I can say that it was a birthday to remember.

Anyway enough about my mad parties, what about the rest of you? How are you all doing ?

Afternoon Vicar, how are you today? Glad to hear that you had a good night's sleep. Do you feel any better for it?

Thanks packitin. Hugs much appreciated. I'll hold on and see how I get on for a few more days. I'm on at the moment so hormones probably exacerbating the problem.

Glad you had fun and got such a lovely complement from a teen no less!

Thanks to you too vicar. It is exhausting. I needed a bit if perspective methinks. If things don't improve, I may have to take the both of us to see the doc!

Hi sirboobalot nice to see you here, I hope you are ok? I think you are so brave going to the group therapy. I am supposed to be doing DBT in the new year and I am shitting myself about it. Honestly I think you are being incredibly strong - recognising you need some meds at the moment is a positive thing. If it helps it helps. Your DP sounds very supportive which is great. Look after yourself.

I hadn't self harmed for four years until this year and it has all gone downhill, I don't know really. It is hard because I know it is in my control, but equally, it feels like it isn't. I know my current self harm will not be enough for much longer, but I also know if I do more there are crappy consequences, I don't give a fuck about what I do to my body but all of the crap that comes with SI is too much sometimes. I keep thinking that dying is better than this crap. I found myself rehearsing the text to tell DH I have gone to A&E for stitches so it is all shit.

I am really irritated by everything at the moment, all the bins need emptying and there is a stupid amount of washing up but my DH is insisting he does it and if I do it he will be v.grumpy and see it as passive aggressive when it isn't I just want it done. I also need to wrap some Christmas presents.

vicar I am so glad you feel a bit better, can you access talking therapy to help you?

packitin I am so pleased you had a nice birthday :) You sound like a brilliant friend.

Hi feeno I am sorry you feel so rough, you should def go back to your GP, if only for some support and advice.

Good afternoon Fluffy. Things will get better. You know that you have control over your self-harming, and now is the time to start believeing that you can and will exercise some control over your self-harming.

It may be little baby steps, but things like these don't change suddenly overnight. It will take a long time, but it can be done. You just have to believe it will. You know what they say about the power of the mind????

I remember having severe PND and just wanting out of motherhood. Logically, I knew I would beat the PND and be there for my kids. It took 4-5yrs of me seeing the immediate and short term goals that would lead to the long term goal (being free of PND). It worked, and now I am applying this to my studies.

Of all the professions I want to work in, Psychology is the one I am completely interested in and drawn to. I think the keys to good thereapy is someone who is a listener, a good problem silver, and one that helps you to believe in yourself. Lastly but least, for me, I would want someone that helps me work out reachable short term goals. Another one is a therapist who sees slip-ups as small problems that need to be sorted.

Well, I have to go wash dishes, wash the kids and do their snacks for tomorrow, but will be back later.

evening everyone.

im back to see my gp in the morning so i just hope i can convince her to sign me off for a while more - i got a text of supervisor today to say he has referred me back to OH. Im nervous about both having to go back to occy health with my tail between my legs and seeing the gp tomorrow. I have to take the mental health questionnaire back and one of the questions was about suicidal thoughts - i havent exactly been there but i have wanted to crash the car to stop the stress and have a rest, i put "once" on the form and i wish i hadnt.....my former colleagues will see it as they will be the ones to scan it into the systems..... i feel like a failure as far as the shiny career goes. I used to work at my GP surgery. I question my sanity ever going into this job knowing my propensity to worry.

Feeno I think personally I would be tempted to see how you feel after DS is sleeping okay for a few days, but a visit to the GP can never be a bad thing. Either way, I hope you perk up soon.

PackIt Happy birthday! And what a lovely thing for her to say, really hope that you can remember that in your low moments.

Vicar long may the good sleep continue!

Fluff know exactly what you mean. I've never needed stitches, yet. Well done on your years without SI, that's a really long time - and shows you can do it. So remember that. You are in control of it. You can be in control of it by limiting the damage if you're not ready to stop yet. The group therapy isn't actually as bad as I thought it would be. And I have heard wonderful things about DBT, so I do hope you get the opportunity to do it.

I am very lucky with DP. He's been utterly amazing. I was honest with right from five minutes after I met him the start about my health, always knew he was accepting of it, but since I started this therapy course, he really has been superb. He has his faults but I couldn't ask for more where it comes to being there for me when I'm struggling, and believing in me. I've never really had anyone believe in me before. Its nice. He takes me up to my therapy sessions, and has managed to arrange to come out of work for a coffee with me after each one to go over it all as well.

Right... DS is snoring away, I need to find the motivation to get in the shower...

xposts - Vicar totally understand why you're feeling that way, but the only way you can get better is by being totally honest.

Hi everyone,

Vicar I'm glad the visit went well and you felt reassured. Hope the Dr appointment goes well too. How's the tiredness now, has it eased off a bit? I understand why you feel uneasy about colleagues seeing your questionnaire but it's best to be honest so they can find the best way to help support you. Once you are back on an even keel then you decide whether you want to carry on in your career. If you don't, there's no shame in it at all.

Fluffy I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. It's so hard being in that place isn't it? (Hugs)

Hi Boobs I'm glad you felt able to decide to go back on your ADs. It's not failing to start taking them again (otherwise I'm a massive failure ).

Pain I'm sorry you've been feeling rough and too sick to eat. Hope the side effects ease off soon. I have had a binge today, dunno why as wasn't really hungry, and now feel yuk.

Feeno Hi! I found that even on ADs I would have good days and some really down days so it could be circumstances making you feel worse, but I'm sure your GP would talk it through with you. Hope your DS1 recovers quickly, and congratulations on your DS2! How old is he now?

Pack how lovely of your friend's DD! Just think what a wonderful person she must think you are, it's such a compliment.

I have missed people off I'm sure, sorry if I have. My head is hurting and I need to jump in the bath. Normally I love baths but lately it has felt like such a chore keeping up with bathing/ showering that I just have a quick wash at the sink some days I can't be bothered to drag a brush through my mane hair either so stick on a hat for school run. Anyone else find their hygiene/ beauty regime suffers when they are low or am I just a manky cow?

Night all.

Muddled we can be manky cows together in that case Dry shampoo and a cheap body spray are two of my dearest friends...

vicar I can totally understand your worries and fears, but you have to be honest, as difficult as it is

SirBoobs I would be interested in how you have found group work. I am lucky to have such great access to DBT really, but it feels like a huge thing. I am a very quiet, and largely emotionless person so I am worried I will not make the best of it. I am so good at looking like I am ok, or looking like I am engaging when I am not.

I really really struggle with my self harm, I have been in a psychiatric hospital twice this year because it got to the stage where I was in A&E 3/4 times a week and they were worried I would accidentally kill myself so it is a scary and slippery road. At the moment, I think at least if I cut to deep and died I wouldn't have to be brave enough to kill myself. I hope that comment doesn't offend anyone.

I have to confess, I am super clean, I have OCD and I am very very ritualistic with washing, luckily it doesn't take long, but I have to shower and wash my hair every day before I am allowed to do anything else. And if I leave the house I have to have my hair and make-up done. When I was really unwell in hospital I always looked immaculate (see above for looking like I am fine). I wish I could have PJ days!

On a positive note. I have wrapped the Christmas presents and arranged a coffee with friends tomorrow and on Tuesday. DH is back at work on Wednesday which is good and bad I guess.

I hope everyone has had a nice Sunday :)