What has made you anxious today?

[alwaysworriedtoo]

Just thought i'd start this as I felt I was begining to hijack another thread, And I don't swear easily!
O.K my list from 4pm.
1/ steaming with h2o cleaner= small/ tiny ammount of water noticed in pipe =leagionaires. (NOT LIKELYa#if there was achance of this theere would be a warning on the box. b#steam is Boiling, will kill stuff. c#if i do get it,ive no underlying health issues so would recover)
2/Fork fell out of the pan onto the hob, I couldn't use it again so put it in wash.
3/Tub used to rinse a certain swimsuit out in went into the bin.=when got back in washed hands=antibaced key and door handle= washed hands.
4/Pannick I forgot what time I was supposed to put DH tea on (he works late) =panick over I remebered there was still time.
5/Plate feels like its got a slick coating=what is it?=condensation?=the varnish coming off because it is an old plate and it shouldnt be in the dish washer and now its coming off?...
6/Did I cook the samosas for long enough/ are they cooked properly?
7/Did DD wash her hands after pulling at socks and messing with feet before she ate that chocolate?

Did I really need to get worked up over any of that?

made a gp appointment for thursday so will take that day off and see what doctor says. im so irritable too...its getting me down. the school have advised me to see the school nurse with dd as she is 'not taking in instructions' shes probably too stressed and anxious herself :(
hope you are ok bright and everyone else on this thread

HOpe your g.p can help, holsten and hope your dd okay too.
I feel rather happy today. (Yesterday wasn't too bad.But could have been better!)
I feel quiet light

My hair. I think it's shedding more than normal. When I run my fingers through my hair there are strands. I counted about 60 yesterday (this was including brushing) I have long hair but this is really getting to me.

Especially the fact I am now counting individual strands of hair

I have been stupid recently and stopped taking my fluoxetine so I'm hoping ill feel a bit better again soon

I have to definatly distract my brain when cooking!

I'm feeling anxious about having DD for the morning despite the fact I have her all day on a fri, sat, sun.

Hi Always, how are you? what did you do with the swimming costume?

I'm not too good at the mo, going on holiday next week - always makes me anxious. New environment, what if I'm ill I won't know where the doctors is, what if DS is ill I won't know where the hospital is, driving on the motorway (too many idiot drivers).

Yesterday I thought I had gone mad, I put my coat on in the house and didn't realise for about 5 minutes. I keep forgetting my words and am sure people think I'm crazy. Leg hair plucking is out of control....GP says this is all to do with anxiety and I should get my appointment with Wellbeing team soon, then the CBT.

I had a coffee with a friend this morning and had the shakes the whole time, now I'm not working socialising is terrifying plus talking about relationship with XH and toxic parenting by my own parents.

In no particular order:

• driving, driving anywhere in particular, today was just the school/nursery run and the local shops, I hate driving, cannot cope with anywhere new at all. Actually have near hallucinations of hitting someone /crashing
• any of the DC getting leukaemia/cancer after watching a friends DD die of it this year
• we are having an extension built, so far it's been a disaster, foundations aren't even dug and it's cost another 4K, the next door neighbours hate us (not helped by me sending a text to the neighbour moaning about her by mistake), don't know if they will be able to build it or how much it will cost
• general Christmas money worries, I stupidly ran up credit cards debts without telling DH now he knows and I'm on strict budget to help myself keep control of my finances, but I feel sick everytime I withdraw money or spend money
• stress about SS finding out I'm a rubbish mum and taking the DCs away

I haven't been eating or sleeping properly for weeks, today I've managed breakfast and lunch

I know I need to see my GP again was on citalopram for a while but it didn't help, GP said I had to address the underlying causes

Hi Keekee, poor you I am actually feeling mostly o.k. Thank you! I hope you start to feel in control soon. try and think of the possotive of each event rather than letting the 'yacky' stuff take over. (Like i'm one to offer wonderful advice !!) Hope you manage to have a lovely holiday
The swimming costume has been washed about four times altogether. It is at this momment drying on the radiator rail and I am plucking up courage to wear it. (shouting at brain= GET OVER IT ITS FINE STOP BEEN AN IDIOT!=or words to that effect!) I am wondering more as well if it wasn't the way the material was woven as it is quiet a thick 'weave' to it. When I think this I feel like a total idiot and embarrased at myself But I suppose thats what anxiety does to you
This morning I did have a major panick . I put hairspray on d.d's hair (an extremely rare occurance) as she wanted her hair posh for a special day at school. I told her to hold her breath then sprayed, and what did she do? Took a big breath in. I immediatly waffed around her face saying 'What did you do that for! You're not supposed to breath it in! Are you o.k do you feel o.k' etc etc. she said she was ok and ate breakfast as usual I asked her a fewmore times if she felt ok and she said yes. On the way to school I told her to tell the teacher if she started to feel headachy 'and tell her why!'
When I got home I looked up on the internet about breathing in hairspray and it seemed like she would be ok. (I even sprayed my hair the same as I had done with her and breathed up to have a rough idea of how much she had breathed up, It tasted foul, and thankfully no symptoms developed) I then found on the internet a symptoms list and pannicked again, I took some bach rescue remedy, recited my 6 and 7 times tables, But I still had that niggling doubt and ended up going to her school on the way to work and explaining what had happened. Luckily the secetary is lovely and went to check on DD and spoke to the teacher so she could also keep an eye on her and they said if anything changed in how she was they would ring and let me know. Most of today I have been expecting a phone call in betweeen thinking 'she'll be fine these beauty pageant kids are always spraying hair spray, I would have had a call by now if she wasn't o.k, hairdressers must get it all the time, spray heavy teenagers ..'etc etc.
I havn't had a call and so I am presuming she is fine, but I don't think I'l be fully over it for a few days, monitering her checking she hasn't got a headache or blurred vision or anything.
Needless to say I won't be using hairspray on her again for a veeeery long time!
Appart from that event I have managed to distract myself out of other stuff, and to be honest I can't even remember what the other things have been!

Sweetkitty, It sounds as if you've got some rotten stuff to worry about. Hope you can get what you need from the G.P. Have you thought about selling stuff on e'bay or through the paper to help with the money? We've done that a few times and although we didn't get rich from it, it really helped.

Oh and I think I've offended my MIL in some way...

Hi Always, glad you are OK. Hope the costume fits fine. I completely understand about the hairspray. What a lovely school secretary to be so understanding if only everyone was.

Hi Sweetkitty, hope you are OK. I agree with Always selling stuff on ebay is great especially as it is getting near to Christmas. I try and budget everything, write a menu schedule then just buy what I need, budget each person's Christmas present. In the end it is the thought that counts and being with family during the festivities.

D.D was fine today at school. I spoke to the teacher and she told me that she had been fine, they also didn't think I was being a hypocondraical (is that a word?!)mother and thought I was right to check! Phew! I don't feel as worried about her either as she has been totally normal after school too.
I have had a niggling anxious low hum tonight but it seems to be fading. My brain has felt as if its a bit faulty as I was trying to run through a check list 'what should I be anxious about?' But the list wouldn't flow and I had to stop. STOP. Think. Its a glitch.There is nothing to be anxious about. Hairspray situation is the only thing to keep an eye on NOT FULL BLOWN PANICK! This stopping and rebooting my brain is doing the trick. phew!

Glad she's ok akwaysworried. I tend not to worry about germs etc I was a microbiologist in a former life so know a lot about then (food poisoning esp) so I'm quite lax about hygiene etc. it's other illnesses that phase me of the DC being in a car accident just reading about a wee boy locally who is battling meningitis, facing limb amputations etc.

Bit of good news the extension seems to be going somewhere finally and DHs car needed no ££s to pass its MOT! DH had put money aside do we can now use it for Christmas

I hate eBay I'm rubbish at it, either stuff doesn't sell at all or for next to nothing then I get stung by fees

Great news about the extension!
Hate ebay! Shock Horror! [hgrin]

Microbiologist, Cool. That sort of statement makes me do a sort of 'wise head nod' (geeky of me but true)! Straight away I though, wow if a microbiologist isn't worried so much about germs maybe I don't need to be either! (Or not as much at anyrate!)

My low level hum has dissapiered (tried that word three times and still can't spell it!)

I am now going to see what food I can prepare to go with jacket 'ta-to's!

See there you go I never sterilised a bottle after DD1, the odd bottle I used got plonked in the dishwasher, DS was licking rainwater from the pavement the other day, I am of the belief dirt is good, builds up immunity, scarily my DC (touches a load of wood etc) are very healthy, DD1 is 8 and never been to the GP before.

My anxieties lie elsewhere accidents, illnesses just about everything else. Am mega stressed just now and it's bringing them all out.

Thanks Sweet Kitty It's really helped! I had a minor glitch as dd broke a small glass bottle in her bedroom full of tiny gems. I have hoovered about five times and studied the floor for anything sparkly. It doesn't help that her bedroom is a mess and full of glittery bits as well! I have done a bit of a tidy and sort as well and I think I am ok with the situation now. as long as I don't think about it too much.

Well a few hours ago I was fine. then just before tea time I went in dds bedroom and it was like a tidal wave of panick. Stomach lurches, the feeling of needing to [do a stinky]Sorry too much info So
I asked dd what had exactly happened when she had knocked the bottle off , and , it sounded like she had been really sensible. After looking at it for a moment she gave it a wide berth, then shouted for me. Very sensible I told her.
I thought about what I had done, hoovered and tidied (hoovered lots!)
I checked the bottom of dd's feet (I had done it nearly straight away but wanted to clarrify)
Her feel were ok. gave her a shower.
Went in her room again rubbed my hand over the erea and my cheek. (i didn't lick it though !)
Then I thought about why I was so anxious about it.
the answer.
Because I care.
Because I don't want anything to hurt her.
I started to relax!
I had done all I could to make sure the situation was safe again.
Well done me.
Then dh told me that one of the bulbs had exploded in the cooker hood and when he opened it bits fell out.
I HATE BROKEN GLASS!!!!
He reasured me that it had happened before he had started to prepare the food and that he had cleaned it all up.
I decided to trust what he had done instead of rushing into the kitchen to re-do what hed done. (I am slightly, SLIGHTLY, worried that there might be broken glass bits in the dish cloth -if he used the dishcloth)
This is making me slightly twitchy I must admit

Dh and I were talking about my anxiety and he said he noticed that mine got a LOT worse after dd was born and had been getting worse as time went on. Before that I would sometimes get a bit 'i feel like i'm not getting enough air' sort of feeling but it was rare and I just thought it was down to my being -wierd- -having to be a grown up and I was still a bit nieve/childish even! - or doubtful of my decisions/second guessing myself.Or just wierd.

That dh knew, and was understanding and didn't forse the issue with me but is willing to talk about it when I like is great.

Sorry this is one loooong post. But I just wanted to share.
And knowing that a lot of my anxiety comes from 'caring' is actually nice.(though I wish it wouldn't make me feel crap!)