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Original poster

I'm going into a Mother and Baby unit

24 replies

raininginbaltimore · 28/09/2012 15:49

Probably on Monday when bed is available. Not sure how I feel. I know it is for the best, but I feel like I have failed.

It means Dh having to take time off work to look after ds (3).

I know I need to be well. But why can't I deal with having babies.

Anyway, what can I expect? What should I take with me?

OP posts:
cappucinogirl4 · 28/09/2012 16:05

Hi I didn't want to read and run and hopefully someone will be along in a minute with some advice,but just wanted to wish you well.I haven't any experience of mother and baby units but I did have PND with both my DC. It's great that you've got a supportive partner too.

LosingItBigTime · 28/09/2012 16:55

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/1565156-Anyone-ever-been-on-a-mother-and-baby-unit

The link above will take you to a thread where people have posted about experiences of mother and baby units and what things you may need etc. Hope that's helpful.

I wish you a speedy recovery...it's an awful illness and you will be supported and taken care of I'm sure.

Scheherezade · 28/09/2012 22:34

Hi, I had two long admissions in mbu. Regarding what to take, speak to your cpn what your ward has available, you shouldn't need a steriliser, bedding or towels or food for you. Though I'd recommend you take your own single duvet and a pillow. Books/magazines/iPod.

What to expect really depends on your and you+babys needs.

FrothyOM · 29/09/2012 09:58

You haven't failed - none of this is your fault as it's an illness just like any other.

I hope you get well soon.

Original poster
raininginbaltimore · 29/09/2012 10:51

I will speak to CPN on Monday morning. She is ringing to confirm bed is available.

I'm going in because I have bipolar, dd is 8 weeks and despite starting my lithium 5 days post delivery, I am now struggling. They have managed to control any mania, but the depression has hit and I can't shift it. The meds they want to give might react with me (venlafaxine) and make me feel really sick and rough. So a short stay to stabilise me is the plan.

I feel really bad. I desperately wanted a second child. And look what it has done. Wrecked our family.

OP posts:
TeaandHobnobs · 29/09/2012 10:57

Baltimore this hasn't wrecked your family. You will all get through this. It is all about helping you on the road to being well.

Thinking of you lots Thanks

narmada · 29/09/2012 11:03

I know how awful you must feel -had severe PND after my second.

You feeling like you have wrecked your family is the illness speaking. I know because I thought that too . After I was treated I never felt like that again-my DC2 is brilliant and it was all worth it to enlarge our family and give DC1 a sibling. You will feel same in a few weeks/ months BUT i do know how hideous it is in the meantime.

Best of luck for the mother and baby unit. Don't worry about your DH. He will be fine with your other DC xxx

Original poster
raininginbaltimore · 29/09/2012 14:04

Thing is Dh had reservations, and gave in to me. Ah, I just want to be well.

My anxiety is in overdrive. Dd will be at the peak age for SIDs (I actually worked it out- 60-73 days). Assume the cot she will sleep in will have old,mattress. So I am stressing about that.

Stupid.

OP posts:
YoullLaughAboutItOneDay · 29/09/2012 14:09

Oh Raining. Sorry to hear this. We chatted a bit on breastfeeding before your baby was born. I hope you feel better and stronger soon. A short stay to stabilise you on new meds sounds like hopefully a good thing long term.

If it would help your anxiety, could you maybe ask if you can take your cot mattress in with you? They aren't that big provided you are going by car. I don't know if that is in any way possible.

narmada · 29/09/2012 14:45

so sorry you are going through this. re. cot mattresses the SIDS advice has changed and old mattresses not deemed a risk any more .

Would you consider buying an angelcare-type monitor to ease your anxieties about your DD?

Original poster
raininginbaltimore · 29/09/2012 16:07

I have a monitor as well! Didn't know advice had changed. Thanks

OP posts:
Scheherezade · 29/09/2012 17:34

Raining, I went in for bipolar also. I was bf and refused to restart lithium till they forced me at 6m.

The night staff check on the babies in the nursery regularly through the night, newborns go into the wheelable cribs and they keep them with them all night.

Original poster
raininginbaltimore · 29/09/2012 20:36

I need to ask them. I don't like the idea of her being taken away. She is only 8 weeks, she needs to be sharing a room with someone. It isn't safe for her to be in a nursery. And we co-sleep for part of some nights, and I never leave her to cry.

I wish I could ask these questions now. I know it is totally pointless speculating about it, but I am so worried.

OP posts:
narmada · 29/09/2012 22:09

Oh raining you poor thing. You can but a small device to clip onto the nappy which monitors breathing and will go off if a lapse is detected. It may give you some peace of mind.

As you know, it's your condition talking. If anxiety is a problem they may be able to give you some anxiolytics in the short term to help you while the main meds take effect. While things like valium aren't to be trifled with, they can be useful for acute use - I used em during my worst phase and I think they helped. NOr did I have any problem stopping them. I know that's not true for everyone tho.

I will be thinking of you and your family. Hang in there, in a few months it will all seem like a terrible nightmare that happened to someone else. It really will.

Scheherezade · 30/09/2012 19:51

Baby can stay in your room, if a mum is not breastfeedibg they will just offer to look after and feed baby overnight so you can get some rest.

When my DS was 2 weeks old I was in MBU. I was breastfeeding and let them take him overnight, bringing him to me for feeds or expressing. As he was so little he stayed with staff at all times through the night, in his little wheelable crib, either in the office or lounge.

Each bedroom has a cot, you don't have to do anything you don't want- the idea is that you at first rest, then with staff help build the skills to cope

Original poster
raininginbaltimore · 02/10/2012 22:47

Well I am in. It is lovely, staff are great..I feel safe here. Haven't felt that for a long thine.

OP posts:
LosingItBigTime · 03/10/2012 09:36

I'm so glad. I hope you get well very soon. Take your time and don't be too hard on yourself. X

goodiegoodieyumyum · 03/10/2012 09:40

Raising nice to hear you feel safe, hope you get the help you need, please don't blame yourself.

Original poster
raininginbaltimore · 04/10/2012 22:20

I'm more ill than I thought. I think I knew, but telling people brought it all out. I will be in here for a couple of months.

OP posts:
whatinthewhatnow · 04/10/2012 22:27

raining I'm sorry it's been hard for you but I'm glad you feel safe in there and I'm sure things will get better and better, given time. xxx

narmada · 04/10/2012 23:32

You have done the right thing. Remember this: there will be a time when all this seems like a bad dream and family life is good again.

These boards are always here for you. Best of luck with your stay there.

YoullLaughAboutItOneDay · 05/10/2012 09:00

You have done the right thing. You are in the best place now to get well, with the best support. xx

narmada · 09/10/2012 23:20

How's it going, raining?

Been thinking of you.

LosingItBigTime · 12/10/2012 17:32

I hope you're doing ok Raining. I'm going into an MBU too when a bed becomes available.

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