Have you known a therapist with issues

[SoleSource]

Of their own of which have hindered your progress

It takes an immense amount of courage to decide we need professional help to change how we are within.
My therapist isn't very warm.

My therapist isn't warm either - and sometimes I have been furious with her because of it. But then I remember that she is not there to be my friend. She is there to help/advise in a professional capacity. So, it is a unique relationship.

I think this is a very difficult issue, actually, because therapy can be very uncomfortable/unsettling and sometimes the therapist can ask very difficult questions. Sometimes they ask a question to see what response they get. I don't know. We once had couples counselling with a man who talked waaaay too much about himself, we packed him in because it was pointless.

She sats I am not depressed but I just slob about as much as I can. St Johns Wort is working but I cant stop being lazy. Therapist does not believe in laziness.

On the face of it that's not sounding good, is it.

The only kind interpretation I can think of is that she's trying to say she doesn't believe laziness happens for no reason. Her point may be that St John's Wort has lifted the basic symptoms of depression, but the behaviour is still there, so her next question is why?

But really I'm just guessing without knowing her or you. Could you or have you raised the concern with her?

Do you think you are depressed?
Is being 'lazy' or 'slobbing about' normal for you, or has some incident/phase prompted this behaviour?
How long have you been seeing the therapist and how frequently do you go?

She didn.t an explanation although I did ask. She doesn't kn ou w I am taking St John's Wort. Too scared of her judgy reaction.
Feeling really low before the Wort as am a carer got me into this slobby habit.
I really need to change my house is minging.

About 16 months one hour every week. Pay privatly.

Laughing at the "odd balls" comment. There may be something in that.
I am training as a therapist (well, a psychologist who does therapy) and in my training I am required to have a lot of therapy of my own so that I know what my own issues are and can be aware of them in the relationship with a client and can manage them appropriately. There is no therapist without their own issues.

To an extent you are right, it is easy to have the opinion that those who help cure the mind should themselves be cured but this is far from the case.

Life experiences give a wealth of knowledge to therapists (I'm speaking strictly qualified here) but only to draw on perspectively, not as a "well this happened to me so Its bound to be the same for you". And anyone who leans toward this way of thinking gets it beaten out of them fairly early on. Of course there are ALWAYS exceptions, and if you encounter therapists whose practices are questionable then never feel afraid to speak out about them.

Personally I have had one instance in my fairly long career (not exclusive direct therapy) where my personal life had begun to prove difficult to contain I took annual leave and managed it.

She said to me tinight about her dre lf that she leads a full life. Some of us do. I took that personally as I would love to live a full life but as a carer I am as she has reminded me in the past, very tied. Nice.maybe I make her feel better as she is older than I am a lot older.

...

She said are we getting our wires crossed again, I am upset. Thise 3 words are whirring around my mind now. I feel guilty.

Looks like I am batshit crazy.

Don't understand your first two sentences. Can you correct? Presume you are typing on a phone?
Who do you care for? How long have you been doing it?
Could you stop/cut back/get some respite?
How did you find this therapist?

What 3 words?

I think the trouble is it's hard to know from a distance whether she IS being horrible and judgy, OR is she trying to show you (perhaps ineptly?) that there really are alternatives to your current life - maybe you're not inclined to believe this? Either way, you initially feel reproached and even worse than before, then cross with her, then you feel guilty about the feeling cross.

Have I got that right? (I might well be doing some transference of my own )

How long has she taken this approach? Is it new in your relationship with her?

Hmm. Actually, disregard my first para and a bit. Was trying to help but I really shouldn't try and analyze people over the internet I've no idea how you and she get on really. It's the fact that you're obviously distressed about it that's important.

But the main answer to your question is yes, I think therapists can sometimes be bringing other stuff to the session.

She is very overly precise particular about what she says. Eg what time she called me or I called her. 4:12pm and when I do not do the same, but say I called you at 4;12 hervresponse is no you didn't. It pisses me off.

Not 4:12 the second example 4:10

Yes on phone typing.

My son I care for 13 years. Found her on Britis counselling official site. I got max respite which isnt much.

3 words of hers today in phonecall to her was I am uoset cos we got out wires crissed about something I was 100% accurate about. See above exampke.

Not really, but like madbustlady, after i'd left an abusive relationship and had two young kids and was generally a mess (doh) a counsellor told me that I needed to get a job. I could hardly do a crossword, but she seemed to think that a job would make all the other stuff go away. She also assumed I had no female friends because I was ......... single and coming to terms with the way xp had treated me. She kept assuming I was totally friendless and kept suggesting i get a job. I went to see another one years later who was MUCH better, much much much better, but she was a psychotherapist. Jeeez the difference between a counsellor and a psychotherapist. one is only playing really.

Therapist will totally deny that I telephoned her that day (her knowing full well that I did. Which emerges later) because I tell her I telephoned her at ten past four but her answering machine message stated 4:12. This type of cold rigid thinking I can do without.

Why are you seeing someone who makes you feel bad?

You don't have to ever see her again. There are so many counsellors out there. Find someone else.

Yes, I know you're right but I feel loyal too as aside from this she has helped me a bit but I guess that is one of my probs accepting shit. Also scared my instinct wrong and next person be shit too abd next one after.that.

loyalty to someone you are paying and who is making you feel bad?

Your loyalty is misplaced. You would be better served thinking of what's best for you and finding someone else. You really would.

A counsellor is supposed to help you. Their role is to make you not need them any more. It's not supposed to be about them or their needs. At all.

Urgh, that telephone thing is a bit weird. Totally different kind of relationship but I once had a tutor like that and it's just soul-destroying.

But whether your instinct about her is right or not, why not try another person just to see? "Loyal" is for friends and family - you're paying her, you don't have to be loyal to her! Lots and lots of people change therapists for all sorts of reasons.