Aw, sorry to hear that maw. What did you say to him?
Me, I'm having a bit of a relapse. Very tired, and irritable. OH's parents are staying- came a day early, even, which I only found out about the night before. I had things to do & had to go out, but the OH assured me he was going to 'blitz the house'. Got home to find him hoovering the front room. This was his idea of 'blitzing the house', apparently. I didn't have time to do much before they arrived. Since then, every time I turn round, they are furtively cleaning something. His mother even brought her own pair of rubber gloves, and a bathmat.
Baby is waking a lot more in the night. On the up side, my OH does do turn about on nights with me: on the down, whatever time she gets up, I then have her (generally between 5.30 and 6). I only get a lie in every two weeks when the night before has been my night off, and only then if there are no guests in the spare room, as I then have to sleep in the lounge. Feeling resentful of my OH always seemingly sleeping until 10.00 or going for a lie down whenever he feels like it. And complaining about how badly he sleeps on his nights off! He works from home, by the way, so it isn't quite as bad as it might sound. But, yeah. I seem to be getting saddled with more and more of the 'housework' since we had the baby, which is not how it started out. I don't know if he's a lazy f*cker these days, or depressed as well...
I am feeling particularly horrible as yesterday I was extra stressed out and hormonal (particularly Gothic period), and was trying to get the baby changed for bed while she was writhing around, as usual. This drives me mental at the best of times, but last night she twisted round and grabbed the nappy I'd laid out and started waving it around by the tab, and in the heat of the moment/grabbing it back, I slapped her hand. I haven't been able to tell me partner about it properly, he thinks it was purely by accident, but I think I sort of meant to and couldn't fully stop myself.
This feels particularly horrible because I'd been connecting with her much better, but for the last few days I've been feeling so tired and stressed and grumpy, I look at her and don't 'feel it' again. I feel like running away, really. I've pretended to go for a lie down while the baby naps, as I hate being on my own with OH's parents and trying to make conversation. They don't know about the PND, I think they just think I'm a slattern and a bad mother. I suppose I am, really.
Sorry about the essay...