Millionaire's shortbread do you, mumtothree? Saved some from earlier...
Re: physical effects of anxiety/depression... yeah. I should have got to doc's a long time ago, really, but I had a day back at the beginning of January where I just hit a wall. It was like all these synapses fired all at once in my brain and I just lay on the couch and couldn't move any more. Genuinely couldn't, as in paralysed. After a while I was able to whisper if I really, really put in some effort. Our flatmate is a psych nurse, so I was able to answer some yes/no questions. I think I said I needed hospitalising, but they basically (my partner and him) decided against it between them, and just put me in bed for two days. My partner had to take time off work. I just slept and drifted in and out for that time. Maybe it was partly exhaustion: I get alternate nights off since then, and a day off on the weekend, and I haven't had a repeat.
Shattered now, really feel slug-like. Took baby to a free creche the HV told me about. There's a cafe, so I left her for half an hour to see how she got on. She didn't care that I wasn't there at all. This is stupid of me, I know, but I'm a bit worried now that my mothering is so bad that she has got used to me being 'absent' somehow, and that she liked being with other people better! We are also looking at using a childminder for one afternoon a week to get her used to being looked after, and give us some space/get some bloody cleaning done (!). Better get over it, then- suppose I should be pleased, really. :(
Definitely feeling like there's a time around 5 where everything gets a bit weirder somehow. Like I'm made out of melty rubber or something. Anyone else have a 'weird' time of day?
Busty: keep with it. I'm sure it isn't fun being 'babysat', but your family obviously loves you and want to do what they can for you- so let them.
Sleep well, everyone...