Is talking to oneself OK?

[BigGirlInASmallWorld]

I am so lonely, I act out phonecalls (to an ex friend) outloud in my home. I speak, imagine the reply and then reply outloud.

Am I nuts?

Nah, it's fine. I do it all the time. And I have conversations with myself in the mirror.

I asked about it "hypothetically" when I did my rotation in psychiatry - the consultant basically said it boils down to whether you know it's yourself you're talking too, or whether you really think there are external voices.

Also, I read a paper that speculated it's an evolutionary protection mechanism - when people were doing the kind of things that meant spending a lot of time alone (herding flocks, for example) it actually helped to keep them sane and keep them focused.

I don't think it is nuts, anymore than writing a letter or an email you have no intention of sending, it's a good way to get stuff off your chest and work through it

just don't do it round Asda ;)

I am sorry you are lonely though... do you have support/family/friends/work?

And I even have out-loud conversations with characters from books/films etc. At this point I have built up complicated histories with some of them.

I'm possibly a bit weird eccentric, but I don't think I've crossed over into mad :)

I think it's part of being lonely. I do it less now that DS is old enough to respond when I talk.

I live alone and talk to myself all the time,even giving myself a row for something.probably everyone does this at some time so carry on

I read it wasn't crazy - phew! - but I think that is the general conclusion amongst the ignorant of thses matters.

No work., family, or friends, yet.

I chat to film stars etc too.

I also chat to an ex lover of mine, I will start a thread in relationships.

Thank you for the replies.

I talk to myself when I am on my own in the house: I also have conversations with inanimate objects, the computer, the TV, my car when I'm driving by myself.

I grieve for my last partner. I miss his presence. I regret not telling him how i felt about him. I feel we knew each other. I see him less these days -imagination - and I talk to him less. I still feel great sadness and there was one other person after him, it has made no difference. It will be four years since my love said goodbye. I felt it knocked me for six. I isolated myself, i longed for him but at the time i couldn't tell him i was in love with him. I'm no good with words. He kept asking me how i felt and what i wanted and offered himself to me but i couldn't admit my love. I'd just come out of a long term relationship.. All the signs were there that he loved me but he didn't say either.

I felt that may have been his culture/stubborness etc but wasn't sure i did tell him that i was old fashioned guys should say first as that had been the case before him.

If a guy is in love with a woman he will say so. won;t he, every time?

My ex before him (together 12 years) told me he was in love with me, i believed him, didn't fel insecure.

I've tears now..i miss him, we laughed, got on well, i feel he was the one for me, maybe i'll never get over him?

Whats wrong with my mind to keep grieving over him like this almost 4 years later we were together about 12 months but not bf and gf officially.

I wish i could shake this awful cdependency on a guy i havent been out with for 4 years.

Last summer i bumped into him we gazed into each others eyes, very deep, i ran away.

I wish i told him how i felt

GRRRRRRRRRR

I shall post this in relationships too.

Talking to yourself is fine. Hell, it's the only rational conversation I get.

Still being so hung up on an ex-boyfriend after four years apart is a little more problematic. You obviously have some unfinished business to work out and it probably is less to do with him than you. Have you ever considered counselling?

I have conversations in my head with all the people I want to confront feel like i'm crazy at times.

Been having counselling for over a year now. Which is why it feels easier. Terrible before that. Thank you Diane.

Thats it diane and dotty - it is usually people i have unfinished business with! People i want to confront. I;m not good at being succinct. Relief i feel right now ahh i will tell my counsellor this, MUmsnet is brill!

I rehearse conversations quite often, usually about things I feel insecure or unhappy about and that I know I'll have to confront that day. I talk to the dog a lot too, who seems to quite like it, which is just as well as I bore everyone else senseless with my endless prattle!

I'm not allowed to confront them YET its complicated but my time will come. My poor counsellor hears it all.

Yes, I think i also have anger issues about my past treatment by people i had chosen to be in my life. Users abusers most of the way. I didn't stand up for myself. There are a LOT of people out there who are smug at the way i let them treat me, twist my words and actions then dump me as if i was the instgator and bully.

I'm full of anger.

When I talk to myself i'm rather fluent. But because of my social isolation for understandable reasons, when i talk im not very confident and my speech is stilted. I'm aware of it and it is and irritating.

Also i write better than i can talk with a flow - it is because i'm out of the habit, therapist says. I need to get out there and socialise myself slowly, far away, where nobody knows me if i fuck up.

I have AS and think slowly when it comes to speech production (unless my ADD is in 'on' mode, then I say too much too fast). If you say things out loud to yourself, they become easier for your brain to access when you are with others - I am better at come-backs now because of much thinking 'I wish I'd said....' and trying it out on no-one.

I also talk to myself, as me, and as if I'm someone else, I talk to animals and insects, I call out to the tin-opener if I can't find it (Where the fuck are you, tin-opener?) Madness would be expecting the tin-opener to reply

Pink thank you :)

I had another breakthrough. I might treat myself today and go to the cinema alone, whilst my child is at school.

There are about 2 hours before i need to get ready to leave. In this time i could be doing housework etc but i don't want to. I should be cleaning as this house is a bit dirty. I feel if i do the cleaning it ruins my treat as who does cleaning before they go out on a saturday night for example. I guess some do but is it appropriate? My childs school hours are precious to me as i do nit get to go out of an evening due to lack of money.

I guess i needed to write my breakthrough down.
I want to fill my days with fun stuff aswell as loking after the house :)

I need to start making my life happier, it is possible just i feel so trapped at times as if my spark has been stolen.

I do not have a very fun filled week. I should be doing as much as i can during the daytime.

eat healthily
walk
cinema
one adult education class per week
housework
shopping
therapy session
weight loss appointment

i got to do stuff for me

i sit around watch television feeling sorry for myself

life is what i make it

When I first started going through my 'problems' I was writing things down as advised by police but it was all negative told my counsellor I'd stopped about 6 weeks ago she said to restart but put at least one positive thing down. I restarted it about a week or so ago but its more like a journal a lot of mundane things but thoughts as well I write about bad days and good days helps me keep on top of myself and see how i've improved over the last 4/5 months.

Its fine. All you are doing is talking out loud. I find it helps me think things through by putting my thoughts into words.

I hope to use this space to write stuff down.

I feel happy that you have improved dotty

I have too, it feels like a gentle fluttering inside of me. As if something is being re-arranged :)

Since I've read so many positive replies I've talked more and find it is very helpful too More :)

My therapist said it is fine but knowing others 'out there' feel the same gives me more confidence instead of feeling quietly ashamed. :)

BigGirl I have made many lists like yours over the years. (And sometimes managed to do some of the things on them)

You say you 'should' be doing as much as you can, and then you have all your goals facing you together, which can be a bit overwhelming and lead to paralysis of the will. And I don't know about you, but if someone tells me I should do something, I naturally resist - no-one tells me what to do, not even me!

What 3 things would you put on the list if you could only have 3? And what, on that list, do you actually want to do?

My current list (in my head) has 'go for walk', 'plan healthy eating', 'watch at least one TV programme I have Sky+'d'. Of these, 'go for walk' is the one I would pick if I could only have one thing on the list.