Please help me - PND and anxiety - coping with 6 week old

[Gina1981]

Why are the mornings always the hardest?? I wake with anxiety really early and I'm a wreck! Also suffering with getting to sleep and wake frequently!

I'm bf DD and have another 2DC and I can barely look after myself let alone them! DH is doin his best but has to work long hours so am left to it all!

My 6 week old DD is very demanding and am exhausted and to be honest can't be bothered to do anything any more!

Please help me as I feel like curling in a ball and wishing I wasn't here!

I try and talk to my DH but he says I'm selfish! I kept reminding him that I'm ashamed of thinking like this and don't actually choose to feel and think like thIs! I just can't understand why I feel like this! Ive been through it twice before and had nine months to prepare myself for it!

There are days where I want to wish the first year away! Dd3 is alot harder than the other 2dc were! Pop into town this afternoon but it took hours to leave the house ad everytime I put DD down to sort myself out she screamed!

All I can say is that I hope that's this Is the PND talking and with time I'll get better! I seriously can't live like this anymore!

Well if it helps you can always talk to me. I know and understand my ex was the same, he said he would help more etc etc, but went out more cos he apparently couldnt stand being around me when i was like it! It will get better, and you do need to talk it through. Sometimes having someone there to say it will all be okay helps, or just to be held and allowed to cry until its all out. My LO hates being put in his pushchair and whinges while i finish getting ready. This has resulted in me leaving him with his after breakfast drink and the tele on to go and get dressed, do my hair and make up. It works for us. x

DH says I should just let her cry! But she gets herself into such a state! Easy for him to say that when he isn't here dealing with her.

I'm going to the breastfeeding clinic tomorrow, well that's my plan, as all DD wants to do is feed all day! She is putting on the weight so there can't be anything wrong with my milk but she doesn't even go 3 hours! I really dont want to give it up but I just can't live like this anymore! I have no time for anything!

How old is your LO Ellen? Sounds like your experiences have made you into a strong woman! Thank you for your support xx

My LO is now 18months. Its very well for people to say oh just let them cry when they arent the ones listening to it. I have to admit i wouldnt have got through it without my now Best friend chrissy, she hasd 5 children (10 if you count her partner) Its so hard sometimes and feels like one stress is replaced with another... I am homeless just out of an abusive relationship which was not helping my mental or physical health. Going to the BF clinic may help you. Can i ask how old your LO is? I started weaning at 5 and a half months. Hugs, you sound like you need them. x

My LO will be 8 weeks old on Tuesday. Feels like forever. My other dc are 12 and 5 years old. Feel like I haven't seen them in months. I feel so guilty as I barely spend anytime with them at all.

I think about giving DD baby rice, I did with the other 2dc at around 2 months!

We are all currently living with my mum as we sold our house last year and haven't found anything yet! My mum is a massive help and if it wasnt for her we would all have starved! Thing is I can't expected her to keep doing everything. This also gets be really depressed knowing I've lost all control.

I can't imagine what you must have gone through. Sounds awful. I guess it's made you a stronger woman.

I'm so tired right now I could sleep for a year, but DD is insisting on feeding! She had been since 5pm!

At 7 weeks my LO started to ease off night feeds and started sleeping through. If she wants a feed JUST before bed give it to her, i did to later read that they shouldnt sleep on a full tummy, why not if they dont they wont ever sleep! and he went through all night, it was light when i woke and i jumped up. Its hard living with mum, i am back at my mums too so i understand how difficult it is, cant wait to move. It seems like everything for both of us has all come at once! I was leaving the divorce until after i had moved and sorted myself out. x

Goodness you are both really going through tough times right now. I think you're both really brave and courageous to deal with your fair share of shite everyday and still try and look forward.
Things can only get better eh :)

Gina I don't know how you can bf for hours like that, you must be in some pain.... Well done for persevering. Have you tried topping up with formula...?
I've had 'breadtfeeding envy' if such a thing exists.....(!!!) I tried very hard with Ds1 to no avail and again recently with DS2 but switched to formula within a week!! I had c-sections with both and my milk didn't come until 3/4 days later so Ff was it really.

Following a bad night last night I'm hoping tonight might be better... Well I can only hope :)

I managed to get up this morning and take dd2 to school! Am sitting in a cafe waiting for some breakfast before I go the the bf clinic! I woke with anxiety too this morning and I laid there thinking bugger off I have nothing to be anxious about! it has to end soon or else!

Glad you managed to get up. I bet you felt a little better after taking dd2 to school. I remember from my childhood that being taken to school was really the only time i got to talk to mum alone. You may be a little anxious about the BF clinic and i find myself anxious about being judged, my mum always says i am doing well BUT i dont always feel like i am. I also couldnt breastfeed. I had milk from approx 6 weeks pregnant but as soon as bump came along it dried up. I was upset but look back now and think well at least there was formula, and think hospitals are sometimes soo insensitive with all their breast is best posters everywhere. I hope today goes better for you. x

Yay! Go Gina!!
How are you doing Ellen?

What a bloody waste of time! Went to be told that the latch was all wrong! Came home and DD has hardly stopped crying. I can't win! Im so depressed right now that I just want to curl up in bed and be left alone! Im so tired too!

Poor you, i feel so sorry for you. Maybe sometimes it is better to formula feed especially if its having a really bad effect on you. Poor you. At least it got you out of the house for a while though. Today has been okay, not heard anything from housing or my solicitor but my solicitor only sent the letter on friday so i cant realistically expect to hear anything back until the end of the week/ beginning of next week and housing just seems to be taking forever. I couldnt breastfeed but now hearing other peoples experiences i am quite glad i didnt. x

Adding to yesterday's post that DD is hardly feeding now! Omg I can't take anymore of this stress! I'm at breaking point.

Not only am I very worried about DD as she is sleepin loads too, I'm really concerned that my milk supply will reduce.

I really am at my wits end!

Gina it will be ok in time. Why do you think DD has stopped feeding? Have you taken her to GP??
Take a deep breath and repeat.... "this too shall pass".... Works for me sometimes....

How are you now Gina?

I'm having a really bad day..... I feel like I'm on the fringe of breaking point. I am an emotional wreck and just can't see this ever ending. The only thing that seems to keep me standing is DS1...

Maybe she was just going through a growth spurt. It is a worry when they wont stop feeding and then they dont want to feed at all.I hope your little ones appetite has picked up a little, but not too much so she wont stop feeding. Maybe she'll start to level off now. x

Ellen I think your right! She doesn't seem unwell e.g no temp or signs of colds etc! I try to wake her indirectly every 2 hours just to make sure she is taking something and keep my milk supply up! She fed well on het last fed! Feeling a lot better than I did yesterday! I have to chill and stop looking up things on the net!!

Oneveryhappymama Im ok! How are you feeling? What's happened today? Have to admit I had a really bad day yesterday to the point I walked out at 9pm and walked around the block before I knew I was going to explode! I just had about enough and was so tired!! The fresh air did me good!! Are you on ad's?? Im hoping that mine are working!!

Hope you're feeling better xxx

i am on ads. fresh air does tend to help and i am glad your little one seems to be okay, my midwife said they go through stages like this and are just like an adult and i certainly dont want to eat much after the christmas/new year binges. if you arent worried too much i honestly would let her sleep to give yourself a break. i am doing okay and hopefully everything wil work itself out! x

Hi, how have the last few days been for everyone ?

I'm tearing my hair out at the mo as I'm still battling with bf! Omg it's so hard!

How are you? X

Today has been an "up" day. I am doing better. Still really worried about housing but have spoken to my old HV today and she is happy to liase with my new HV to put something in writing to help me with my housing application in regards to domestic violence as she did have suspicions of it. Hopefully i will get there soon. x

Gina what's your feeding routine..?

Glad to hear you've had a few up days Ellen, you are under a lot of stress so any up day is a positive!!

I've had a few good days, following from a really bad meltdown day/night. I ended up calling the Samaritans just to have someone to talk to. I also had a councillor came over, but she ended up doing all the talking.....
I saw the GP for my 6 week postnatal check, I told him how I felt and have been prescribed AD's just like that. I don't want to take them, I just wanted to work through it without meds. They are still sitting on the kitchen shelf.

Taking anti depressants has really helped me! Sorry to hear that you have been having such a bad time. If you need someone to talk to there is normally someone on mumsnet to talk to. Taking ad's can really help, but so does talkimg about your problems. Hope it all gets better soon. x

I feel for you both! I've had a real up and down week! Feeding is a bit of a nightmare! DD was feeding ever 1-2 hourly! Been to bf clinic twice this week to sort it out! But not much luck! DD has been so unsettled, windy, green runny poo etc! Due to frequent feeding as I have oversupply and fast let down! So exhausting!! Started a bit of a routine today, feeding every 2-3 hourly and DD has been much better!

If I can keep up with it then life might be a little easier!

How are things with you guys?

Have to agree Ellen, ad's def helping me too!

Why Do you not want to take ad's?