Please help me - PND and anxiety - coping with 6 week old

[Gina1981]

Why are the mornings always the hardest?? I wake with anxiety really early and I'm a wreck! Also suffering with getting to sleep and wake frequently!

I'm bf DD and have another 2DC and I can barely look after myself let alone them! DH is doin his best but has to work long hours so am left to it all!

My 6 week old DD is very demanding and am exhausted and to be honest can't be bothered to do anything any more!

Please help me as I feel like curling in a ball and wishing I wasn't here!

Hi cupcake! I too was very reluctant to take ADs and felt very guilty as I'm EBF! I had to weigh out the pros and cons and I came to the conclusion that we would all benefit! I was also reassured that very minimal dose would be in my milk! I'm only on 50mg! I can't comment on the ad your on!

I'm feeling quite tired today due to the night I had but surprisingly feeling ok! Do you have any other DC? I'm not looking forward to the school runs etc again!! I only hope I get better as DD gets older!!

PND is very cruel! I know I'm not the only one who's suffering but I wouldn't wish this on my worst enermy!

No other children (and sadly I fear PND may mean this is my only baby as the thought of going through this again terrifies me), so I can't imagine how you must feel coping with family life as well as a newborn.

Have you felt any different since taking the AD's?

Mother nature has her way of making you forget! Pregnancy and labour is enough to put you off but Alot of woman have many more! I have 3DC and suffered PND with DD2! I didn't with DD1. Although you are at higher risk of having PND again it's not 100%.

I've not had it that bad this time round but bad enough and it's still awful! AD's have definitely helped as I've noticed an improvement! Ive been on them for 4 weeks so hopefully will notice more of an improvement soon!

I must admit the last 6 weeks have felt 6 months! Has gone very slowly!

Hi Gina, Mixedberries and Cupcake... how are you guys doing/feeling?

I hope things are slowing improving for everyone.
I'm not sure if i am coming or going to be honest. I felt soo much better and more positive for a few days and now it has come back to haunt me again.

Has anyone has any physical symptoms of anxiety and PND..?
When i feel really anxious, my body goes loopy... i feel sick, have a terrible knot in my stomach and have terrible diarrhoea and loss of appetite. I can;t seem to control this at all. It also gives me stomach cramps. This all mainly seems to happen at night too.... very odd.

My depression is just becoming suffocating. I'm crying all the time, i feel trapped and worst of all i'm feeling that having DS2 was a terrible mistake and i don;t want him anymore. I hate myself for feeling like this.

Its all too stressful and too much for me to deal with.
Finances are hard too.
I feel like i just want to disappear or wake up from what feels like a horrible dream...

Hi oneveryhappymama,

I have to say, you don't sound very happy at the moment!

I've had two better days now, after six pretty bad ones. I completely understand your physical symptoms as I get the knot/sickness and tense body too. It's so difficult to relax; I always feel as though my mind is only 20/30% alert, and that the other part is (like a computer) working on an idle process.

I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling great. Have you taken any steps to discuss things with anyone else (GP/OH/HV?).

LOL no i don;t !!

Its a horrible irony. I have spoken to DH, in fact we talk about it all the time but i can't say some of the things i really want to say because i'm ashamed of the way i feel if i'm truly honest. I have also mentioned it to HV who has given me a number for a counsellor, i called them today and she can;t fit me in until next week. Thats a long time to wait when i feel like i just want to take DS2 back to hospital and leave him there.
The rational, sensible me realises these feelings will pass and i will be 'normal' again, then DS2 starts to cry and i become a quivering wreck.
I hate feeling like this. I had this with DS1 and it did fade after 3 months so i'm hoping to ride this out just the same.

Glad you are having a couple of good days after a long stretch of bad ones. Did you do anything different...?

For me, having company makes things easier as it makes the day pass.

OneVeryhappymama sorry to here that your feelin re way you are. How old is DS2? I had quite an unsettled night with DD and feeling really tired today! I though I would feel miserable but infact I don't feel too bad! Whether that's because I didn't have to get the other dc to school or I knew I could sleep through the day I don't know!

Ive suffered all the physical symptoms you've described and they are awful! I will get this feeling in my tummy at 6am and it would cause the anxiety and I would start to shake! Which then would cause me to go to the toilet! Won't go into too much detail!

Cont....

I havent suffered with that for a while now, I'm hoping that the ad's that I'm on are actually working! They are specific to supress anxiety aswell as lift your mood!

I'm alot better than I was a couple of weeks ago, whether thats because of the ad's or that DD is 7 weeks now! It hard to tell but I do agree that the day passes alot quicker when your with people or doing things!

I can comprehend everything that you are all saying and I do hope that this ends quicker than it came!

Cupcake I feel like that sometimes! I rarely have the energy mentally to do anything and when I do I get so overwhelmed.

Keep talking and hopefully we can support eachother and anyone else who feels like this xxx

Hey Gina and ONe happy mama just wanted to let you both know i read your messages and totally understand your physical symptoms. It's especially worse in bed at night and in the morning. The stomach problems are so debilitating and scary cos you think there is something physically wrong on top of the anxiety. I get weird heavy feelings in my arms too sometimes along with the knot in my tummy and body aches. I've only started the ads on day two, awake quite a lot last night which aggravates me but I'm hoping that will improve tonight hope things are going ok ladies ???

Hi sassie23 hope your having a better day! What ad are you taking?

I had that awful anxiety feeling this morning! Made me feel cold and shivery! I'm hoping that I don't have it tomorrow, dd2 is back at school tomorrow and am a little nervous as I don't know how I'll cope with the morning rush! Dd1 went back today but she is old enough to sort herself out!

Hope everyone is ok xx

Hi Gina hope the morning us going ok cupcake good luck with the appointment today. I had awful night LO sick AGAIN after being ok for four days at my wits end. He was only sick once at 1am but I spent all night awake with the anxiety stomach churning having to go to loo shaking etc. For some reason I just cant hack it when they are sick it makes me so so much worse. I'm sitting here ready to cry cos DH has just left for work and he's due to wake any moment and I dread what the day will bring. I'm supposed to be working tomorrow an although it's my business I hate constantly having to pull staff in cos my kids are sick need some support today

Morning sassie, I had a pretty awful night aswell! DD was very hard to settle and then woke up at 2am! Coming to think about my day yesterday all I did was feed her the whole day! She didn't sleep either!

I'm exhausted this morning as after settling her at 3am I hardly slept a wink as DH kept snoring just as I was nodding off! I just want to go back to bed and sleep for days. Fat chance of that happening now till I'm probably 50! Not a happy bunny!

Hope your LO is feeling better this morning! I too can not deal with dc being ill, I'm absolutely awful.

Thanks for the reply so good to know someone listening don't know whether to give him normal breakfast or not maybe dry toast is better option sleeplessness is awful isn't it x

Sassie, Gina...it will come as no surprise that I too seem to become even more anxious when LO is ill (as he was last week). He's taken to crying a great deal over the past 2/3 days - I suspect he is trying to master new skills, but I am struggling to pacify him and on top of his baby eczema and regular vomiting it's all been a bit too much the past couple of days.

I've actually felt a bit better in myself (I suspect as a result of LO sleeping through the night all of a sudden) but my stress levels and general ability to be able to enjoy time with him have dipped.

My appointment was constructive, and I've been 'strongly advised' to take the AD's. Gina, which AD's are you taking, and what is the dosage?

I'm so sorry to hear that you've had a bad night Sassie - I'm online if you want to chat.

Gina, I hope you've managed to get some rest today (easier said than done, I realise).

Cupcake thanks for that the support on here is really getting me through the morning when I'm alone. My LO is over one now so normally he's straightforward but I seems to have sort of sickness phobia you guys are having to deal with the wee tiny ones it's really hard mine had reflux and eczema. You would think I would be over the worse after all this time but the PND seems to have just been aggravated the longer its gone on. O know you are concerned cupcake but I would think the docs know what they're doing concerning dosage and the milk. I'm on the same Ad and dosage and the gp assured me it was a low dosage to begin with though not sure if it will upped seeing how I'm feeling ATM

How long have you been on them Sassie?

Just four days early days I know last nights anxiety was pretty scary so think talking it over with the doc this afternoon could help. Also think counselling or CBT could help me work through it. I've always been a worrier naturally but this is something else

I've been warned that the anxiety can increase before it subdues, when you start to take AD's...it doesn't sound like much fun for you.

Are you able to leave the house?...(I only ask as I struggle to - fearful of dealing with LO if I can't calm him). I'd really like to be able to go out and walk with him; I'm sure the fresh air would do us both some good.

How is your day going?...what time is your OH due home?

Hi cupcake, I'm on trimipramine 50mg and have noticed a huge improvement! It has definitely calmed the anxiety! It use to be quite bad in the morning and would turn into a panic attack! DD has been quite unsettled from around 2 weeks and having cranial at the mo to help her! CO thinks she has digestive problems! I don't remember it being this hard with the other dc!

I get anxious about all different things but one thing my cbt therapist told me was to live in the moment and concentrate in the here and now! It has helped alot as I tend to deal with whatever is going on at the time!

The one thing that gets me is not having enough sleep! That hightens my anxiety and I just can't function!!

I also keep thinking about what life was like before dd3 came along and how easy life was and less stressful! Argggh having PND is such a pain in the backside!!

To be honest the best thing i found that helped me was to talk to someone else and find out i wasnt alone. My now best friend was amazing and i spent a good few weeks there spending all day with her, she was fantastic and had also felt some very similar things to me and had also left her daughter to cry. x

Should note i was so bad i was put into respite for three days, i was then put on citalopram while in respite and on diazepam. Good luck and please do get some help. x

Doc was ok this afternoon listened and has referred me for CBT but that could take months apparently!!! He says the sertraline should start to help the anxiety in roughly 2 weeks so I've a while to go. He's given me a script for Valium and sleeping pills too which I was surprised at not at all sure about that. I still have to look after 2 kids and get to work by car so I think that can stay in my bag unless things get really bad over the next few days. I'm hoping a good nights rest will help hope you are all having a better day than me thanks again for the support it's really helped x

How is everyone feeling today?

Some days are up some are down and right now today i am having an unsure waiting around day until something puts me on an up or a down. I am keeping busy though!

I'm having an in the middle day! Not too sure what to make of it! DD woke for a feed at 2am and managed to settle really quickly, only problem I couldn't get back to sleep! My head won't let me! The thoughts are ongoing and very random! Any tips on how to shut them up?

How are you cupcake?

Xxx