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Mental health

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Original poster

NOT SURE IF I HAVE PND

37 replies

loopyredangel · 03/01/2006 15:06

Been sat in front of this for ages, not knowing what to write! I had SPD during pregnancy and had to leave work early, so felt quite isolated, I couldn't leave the house because I was in so much pain. Since I had my DS the SPD didn't go away, and I have not been able to do the things I have wanted to do with him like go out for a walk or lift him out of his crib! I had to have and emergency c-section and I have become so paranoid about my husband touching my waistline, I can't get changed in front of him, and I can't look in the mirror when getting dressed. I get so up and and down about simple things. I managed to get to the shopping centre with my mum, and she took the baby to a shop while I went to try get Christmas cards, and because I couldn't find them I broke down and cried. I am supposed to be back in work in 2 weeks time, but my pelvis is still sore, Idon't feel I can face anyone in work because I tend to put up a front. I don't want to go to the doctors because I don't want tablets, I just don't know what to do.

OP posts:

hunkermunker · 03/01/2006 15:12

Sweetheart, you need to go to the doctor and get yourself signed off. The doctor won't necessarily give you tablets, although it might be that this is the best thing in the short term. You can ask for a referral to a counsellor.

But you can't go back to work, you are still in pain. Sounds like you might need physio too. If you were all right physically, do you think you'd feel better emotionally?

Do you have any friends locally with babies the same age as yours? Can you join the NCT - they often organise postnatal groups so you can meet other mums in your area.

WideWebWitch · 03/01/2006 15:13

Hi there, sorry you're feeling so low. you could try taking the Edinburgh test here to find out if you have pnd. Being ill and still in pain sounds v stressful though, poor you. It's understandable that you're down (not saying you're not depressed just that you may be v down rather than depressed). Is this your first baby?

melrose · 03/01/2006 15:13

Hunker's right honey, take a deep breath and phone the doctors. Is DS your first baby?

WigWamBam · 03/01/2006 15:14

If you have depression it won't go away by itself. You need to see the doctor - you don't have to take tablets if you really don't want to but there is no stigma to taking them if you need them. The GP may be able to offer you alternative treatments but do be aware that things like counselling and talking therapies have hugely long waiting lists, and you may find that the only way to ease the depression while you wait is to try ads. If you try them and they don't work for you, you can come off them.

I have to say though that it sounds as if you're low because of the pain that you're in rather than because of PND and maybe if you can get some treatment (or more effective treatment) for the pain, then the depression would lift too. What is happening about your pain - is it being treated at all?

WideWebWitch · 03/01/2006 15:15

And I suspect we're all asking if it's your first because the shock was quite a big one for many of us when we had our first babies! It's such a huge life change having a baby.

hunkermunker · 03/01/2006 15:15

Also, if you still have questions or concerns about the emergency section, can you get in touch with your hospital and see if they offer a birth reflections service? You can have a chat with one of the midwives about your delivery and go through your notes. That might help you?

How is your DH? I hope he's supportive. Have you spoken to him about how low you feel?

madmarchhare · 03/01/2006 15:16

All good advice, please see your GP.

Original poster

loopyredangel · 04/01/2006 00:07

Hi everyone thanks for talking to me! To answer some of your questions:
My DS is my first and I am shocked at how quickly my independance has gone, I guess breastfeeding and SPD trouble doesn't help matters!
I am going to physio but still suffering! It's been 17 weeks since DS was born, really don't think physio is working that well, and Iam still uncomfortable from the CS!
I have quite a high pain threshold, but I think its the isolation that is getting me down more than anything!
Did the Edinburgh test - scored 18. I will phone the doctor this week, I just feel so tired, all the days are rolling into one another, does anybody else get forgetful?
My DH is just amazing about everything, he has been run ragged having to look after me, the baby and go to work, I don't know how he does it! He is the best!

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melrose · 04/01/2006 12:16

Hi there

Sorry you are having such a bad time, I don't think anything can quite prepare you for how hard it is, can it? I really hated the early weeks with my DS (now 18 mo) and know what you mean about the isolation. The best advice I can give you is to get out there and meet other Mums, I do not know how (or even if!) I would have survived without the friends I met at a local mother and baby group. I was scared about going and was virtually marched there by DH but quickly realised taht the others were just like me!! Really helped to talk through things with others going through the same thing! 18 months later 4 of us still meet most weeks and they have becom esome of my closest friends. It is really hard to take the first step but so worth it. YOur HV should be able to point you in the right direction, if not contact the NCT. Or put a message on here and see if there are other MNetters near you. Hope that ramble ios of some help x

madmarchhare · 04/01/2006 12:30

So pleased you DH is supportive.

My guess is you will feel a bit better when you make that appointment, then a little bit more so when youve actually been.

Its a gradual process and youre definately heading in the right direction.

Its early days still with your DS and as someone who felt very down, isolated and very bemused by it all I can promise it does get better.

Do you have friends or family around that could take DS of your hands for a couple of hours once a week, so you can have some time to yourself? My MIL was a saint and popped round every week on the same day for a few hours which was great for giving me something to 'look forward' to when I was having a particularly bad day.

hunkermunker · 04/01/2006 13:57

LRA, have you rung the doctor today? I would wait to nag you, but may go into labour any minute and don't want to forget to ask

How are you feeling today?

The NCT website has a page with how to find your nearest branch here, btw - do get in touch with them. You can usually email to ask about local postnatal groups or bumps and babes.

Original poster

loopyredangel · 04/01/2006 20:43

With one thing and another, I didn't get chance to phone today! I am going to the baby clinic on Friday so I will mention it then, I promise.

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hunkermunker · 04/01/2006 21:07

Brilliant - will see if I can appoint someone else to be your chief nagger in case I go into labour though

Original poster

loopyredangel · 04/01/2006 21:12

thanks hunkermunker and good luck with baby and labour xx

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hunkermunker · 04/01/2006 21:13

Thank you - if I'm still waiting on Friday, I'll be checking up on you though x x x

QueenVictoria · 04/01/2006 21:42

LRA - please do phone your GP.

I havent had the complications of a cs (did have spd though so i truly sympathise with you) but many months after my ds was born i felt like the lows were all merging into one. I also felt isolated and that no-one really cared.

The best thing i did - after asking advice on here of course - was see my GP.

She was fantastic. She rang lots of people on my behalf to get me help - the HV, the local group similar to surestart and even offered to have my DS taken into hospital overnight so i could get some rest (i declined that one). She also prescribed AD's which have helped. I appreciate you dont want to take pills, neither did i. It was almost like admitting failure to myself, being unable to "snap myself out of it".

But thats not what its about. Another kind MNer on here explained it to me as something along the lines of you get so low and your brain slowly begins to stop producing the right chemicals in your brain (serotonin i think). The ADs work to stimulate your brain to produce this. After 3-6 months you should be feeling much better and can decrease the dose and your brain should take over producing these chemicals on its own again.

But do whatever is right for you anyway

HTH and hope you feel better soon.
xx

MarsLady · 04/01/2006 23:00

chief nagger here! Ready to serve!

hunkermunker · 05/01/2006 23:32

How are you today, LRA?

Skribble · 06/01/2006 00:46

Loopy I could have written that myself, it is so similar to me. I remember standing in the high street panicing because I couldn't find DH after going into different shops.

The difference was I didn't have a job to go back to, I started to feel better when I got a full time job and started to get a bit of an identity back. I never went to the doctor or admitted how bad i felt.

To cut a long story short my son ended up with a severe speach delay due to my lack of communication and interaction, even at 7yrs a new teacher thought there was a deaf person in the family because of his speach.

Talk to someone, either your Health visitor or your GP you might not need medication or perhaps a very low dose, most of what they presribe now isn't as addictive and just helps you to get back to feeling yourself.

Even just talking can help, I think if I had had counseling it would have helped. I felt so useless as I too struggled to lift him at 11lb6oz after a difficult labour and a section. I am a qualified nursery nurse so everyone thought I could manage fine and I tried to be the model mum with terry nappies and all that, out of sight I sat with my head in my hands and cried. My MIL had no idea and wishes i had been more upfront about how I felt.

You told us now tell someone else, keep talking until you get the help you need please!!!!! .

Skribble · 06/01/2006 00:47

Sorry I meant a PART time job, it was only a couple of hours a week but just enough.

madmarchhare · 06/01/2006 14:29

Have you been?, have you been?

MarsLady · 06/01/2006 14:43

How's it going today loopy?

It can take a while to recover from CSs. I've had 2. 1 emergency and 1 elective (transverse twins), however, I digress.

I really hope that you talk to your GP. They may have other methods that don't include tablets. The most important thing is that you talk to someone. Preferably with flesh on, though of course you can continue to talk to us online.

One of my closest friends suffered with PND incredibly badly. It was me that recognised it. She eventually went to see the GP and though it took a while she came back to herself.

Please talk to your GP and get the help that you deserve. Too often we buy into the lie that all we've done is have a baby and that people managed for years without the kind of help that is on offer for us today. But they had extended family surrounding them. People to scoop up baby, scoop them up and to help and encourage.

Having a baby is a life changing, hormone altering, mind-blowing thing. You are completely normal and lots and lots of women reach out for help (even if we don't always see it). People are there for you, so take the help that is on offer so that you and your DS can enjoy the best that life has.

benjaminsmum · 06/01/2006 20:30

I scored 18 on the PND test as well when my ds was six weeks old. GP gave me very low dose of anti-d's but it was enough to bring me out of the darkness and able to see some light. I kept having panic attacks at the thought of doing anything and due to circumstances at the time my dh couldn't take the time out to help. I was on them for eight months by which time I was on top of things and able to cope and enjoy having a little boy. You have to ask for help the tablets were not attictive I had no trouble getting off them. If you were in pain you would take painkillers - it is the same thing, an illness. Good luck

hunkermunker · 06/01/2006 22:56

LRA, how did it go today? Have been thinking of you.

Original poster

loopyredangel · 06/01/2006 23:08

Thanks for all your support everyone! I spoke to the HV today and she was so supportive, she told me to make an appointment early Monday morning, that way I should get to see the doc pretty quickly. They have asked me to go along to baby masssage classes even though I can't get on the floor they will sort something out for me so I can take part. It helps that you all know what I am going through thanks again!
No sign of the little one yet hunkermunker?

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