The Cybergarden - Late Summer Edition

[madmouse]

Sorry been unfaithful, lots going on. But making myself useful - here's your new thread x

Oh petal!

Come and sit here in the summer house. The open fire is crackling away, merry yellow flames dancing across the logs and red heart glowing.

There's a big pot of hot chocolate on a side table, with stirring flumps. And on the stove is a basin of hot, non-alcholic punch; slices of orange and lemon garnishing the surface promise wonderful tastes within.

There are the usual comfy cushions to curl up on and ignore the world if you like. And warmed rugs if you fancy snuggling under them.

Alert: MN seems to be slightly broken at the moment - technical upgrades, it seems.

So if things go off line or the thread goes blank briefly, IT'S NOT US!

So sorry to see that , upward . It's not fair . Thank you for coming to our garden and I hope you'll feel comforted by time in kind Tianc's lovingly prepared summerhouse .

You know we're all sending our love and hopes for swift improvement xx

< HF settles by upward , emitting waves of feline healing energy >

Thanks Tianc ,- I tried to post a while back whnI saw upward's post , but it all went pfffft

Hugs tianc - thanks for the comfort and warmth, seems like a good place to sit and stay.

Thanks for HF's ministrations, hob

A friend thinks I am unwell, I don't want to go there, not for the next couple of weeks.

Ohhh . Well your friend actually sees you, and we just hear you.

But I was thinking last night (and wasn't going to say because it sounded patronising), how incredibly better you sound even than a few months ago.

And seems your support team felt the same.

Could it be a short dip just because of yesterday's letter? Nasty to put up with, but soon to pass?

Mmm - i definitely thought I was doing ok. Woke up 13+ times last night despite meds, and past 3 weeks I've been feeling I shouldn't be talking about stuff.

I am working on it being a blip - I'm looking forward to Christmas, but there is a lot to sort even so.

Seems I missed Mumsnet's blip this evening, and also missed post from upward which seems to point to another blip. Am so sorry you don't feel too good and are struggling, particularly as tianc mentioned, you've seemed so well and positive for the last couple of weeks.
I hope the friend you mention is close enough for you to confide in, should you want to do so in the future, because we all need someone in our lives who can help out this way from time to time.
(Helps self to hot chocolate, wishing I still smoked, but glad of our comfortable summerhouse and visiting cat).

Feel free to PM if you want a private chat upward, hate to think of you being unhappy by yourself, especially at this season.

Hi shodatin , how comforting to have you here . ( very , very glad you managed to give up smoking , but commiserations for any nicotine cravings )

Thank you for telling us about the possible problem , upward ... I had a "feeling" yesterday you would soon be worried about a blip , but am always wary of people's assessments of whether their relative or friend is actually unwell . Once you are worried your friend may be off colour , your perceptions of their speech & behaviour change such a lot .

Two questions I would consider in your position ,IMHO : Have you been "given" any guidelines as to when it is advised to contact your professionals ? Is there any checklist you feel happy using , if you feel self assessment would be accurate at the moment ?

• If you were indeed having a short blip , is it your gut feeling that you need some help from your professionals ( but can't face it atm ) ? or do you indeed feel you'd be better off giving yourself some calm & distraction over Christmas ?

What would would your psychiatrist / most trusted professional advise ?

Agree that yesterday's letter , on top of sending in withdrawal letter & form , were highly likely to provoke a blip , and that wouldn't seem a "bad sign" about your recovery at all , in my unqualified eyes

Hope you feel much better tomorrow , and how cheering that you're available to chat , shodatin < communal doze as sit round stove >

Not craving nicotine hob, just the action of settling with one to await inspiration/sit quietly with friend etc.
I think you've covered what I'd want to suggest to upward, and apologies because I'm about to be unavailable again for a few hours.
Before I forget yet again hob, have you come across a packet of powder which is sprinkled on open fire as a between-sweeps cleaning? It's years since I used this, and think it may be "Imp" brand from ironmongers, but should make chimney safe for Santa until sweep booked.

Off to bed now, hope we all sleep well, and especially upward, who must be tired out. I'd see GP if I had so many awakenings, I think she'd probably want to help, but I do hope you have a much better night.

^^ What hob says.

In addition, I'd guess early intervention usually means milder treatment. So accepting a slight increase in intervention now, only if necessary of course, would not be a defeat but good self-management - and the best way to avoid going back in.

Also, services over Christmas/NY can of course be a bugger. Would it make sense to plan now, while you're still pretty well, round the possibility you could need help during the holiday period? If you don't need the plan - fantastic. If you do, you won't be reinventing the wheel while unable to think clearly.

Here's wishing you better sleep tonight.

Indeed restorative and refreshing sleep to all of us. (shodatin hope you made it to bed the last few nights, not just the sofa... hob that's such positive news to hear your elderlies are doing so well, and their medics so attentive.)

See you the morn.

I'll come and read:reply properly when I'm not on my phone. Waiting for transport to pick me up for a 9 am appointment

At least no lying snow here.

It's probably the wrong sort of not-snow delaying your transport.

Morning all, glad to see fire cleaned up and burninbg brightly once again, ready for friends and fellow-gardeners to pop in, lounge around with their s and hopefully improve our own small worlds, or our own gardens, as some (forgotten) French philosopher said.

Hope you had a better night upward, but please give some thought to tianc and hobs suggestions, which I think are really sensible.

Hope we all manage today without being too tired - thought I was being unable to get up this morning, having six stretches after alarm finished and before I got foot on the floor - such a nuisance. I now need one of those Wallace and Grommit contraptions to chute me into bathroom then point towards kitchen, while a smart animal sorts suitable clothing- otherwise am OK thanks.

"...While a smart animal sorts suitable clothing " [frgrin] Cats seem less keen on doing this , but will where necessary , shodatin . It would certainly take feline brainpower to make such a contraption work . Tianc < HF sets to it >

< HF levels an assertive stare at hob , requiring treats >

I found a pristine Wallace & Gromit getting-up-machine in form of an alarm clock for dh in charity shop last year ( obviously unwanted gift , heh heh )

Oooof , sounds very uncomfortable this morning shodatin & thanks for reassuring us you're fairly OK

Wish I hadn't fallen asleep on sofa mid chat last night ... been snoozing in nestbox again this morning and wish also that I could donate some peaceful sleep to you , upward . I have to say (again) recent stressful events are bound to have unsettled you , but if your meds tend to cause intense sleepiness , such wakings must be worrying .
Very glad you're still looking forward to Christmas , and agree with others it might actually avoid disruption if you make a precautionary visit before holiday disruptions begin ., but 'm sure you've been weighing up the pros and cons

More than two hours' wait, ... stressful & uncomfortable in so many ways . Hope you're home very soon
Dh working from home today and I need to bustle about with home tasks< caffeine for all needing them and calming

I'll think of relatives as my elderlies from now on , thank you , Tianc

Ooooh , have never heard of this fireplace powder & sounds a brilliant product , thank you shodatin
soothing lunchtime to us all

about transport. They rang the department and said they couldn't get me there for 9, department very kindly shifted the appt to later, and then transport decided they couldn't get me there for 2-3 hours later either. The appt took organisation because it was with an equipment company rep as well as the hospital, so he sat there for 2-3 hours for no reason. They were also , and have suggested rearranging to Jan. I really wish equipment was less complex (this was for NHS to assess and then write to SS to ask them to supply).

Thanks for the good wishes, shodatin - I'm thinking it'll be better once I go to stay with family in a week or so.

I'm not sure re: contacting professionals, they have said contact whenever hob. I've left a message asking about meds just in case.

It is a good idea, shodatin (GP I mean), but I'm loathe to go and see a random GP because they tend not to like it (better to see the one that knows my various histories).

I'm sorry you woke up feeling rough, shodatin - I hope HF helps

Not sure how enthusiastic HF would be over required machine, although most of the time I manage to do a reasonable job of organising clothes myself, I think the Wallace version comes complete with an up-and-out-kit. Please do let me know if/when HF decides on a change from time-machine, and meanwhile I'll continue with my own two alarmclocks, which work most days if slowly.

Will try to remember to ask open-fire friends about the soot-clearing chemical over Christmas, hob. I do remember thinking it would be a good idea to note down the ingredients and ask local pharmacist for a pound of it, in a plain wrapper and at a reduced cost, and also remember giving last sachet away from this address (no open fire), but will try to recover info for you. Nice for you to have DH at home today, and hope he's finding it a relaxing change from workplace. Thinking of finances, I wonder if you've thought of letting a room to a suitable person? (friend likes foreign students, I looked for another widow at one time, as earnings are tax free to about £4,000 (am probably out of date on amount).

Back later, Skype seems to be calling. so please excuse me.

I'm feeling a bit freaked out. Had a encrypted message from consultant saying if I feel worse to ask to see one of the junior drs. She never emails - CPN and secretary do (and that's plain email - I've never had to put passwords in to read it). I have an appt with the dr in early jan. Why? I'm wondering if I should name change, though I can think of much more worthwhile pursuits than stalking me...and I think I name changed after I showed the old thread to my GP???

Sorry, I'm not coping well, it's freaky.

wierd, it even automatically sends to say it's been read.

Hi upward , notepad just wiped a whole post , sorry ... I 'm sorry but know nothing about encrypted emails , so hope you'll forgive me for asking dh about it , and he's never even come across one , though says that means nothing of significance
Do you have to register on the consultant's account to read letter ?

I agree always a possibility of thread being noticed ( will PM you in a sec ) but think Friday of last week before Xmas is the exact time consultant would choose to remind [patient that hep is accessible .

Just got home & still haven't made lunch so will be back in a bit , but thank you for explaining about transport and appts , very involved and wearing for you - rotten timing today

Thank you for taking time to give such brilliant advice, shodatin , and hope you and Tmaziianc are feeling Ok , and that madmouse and kizzie can rest in front of stove for a few minutes
s all round
< stokes up stove >

Yes, I had to register, give a word and 3 questions to it, this Glad I'm posting it on this thread, as some people don't think that NHS workers use email to contact patients - physio was also arranged/discussed via email, and if it had been an email from CPN or secretary I wouldn't be questioning the why of it. I hope Paperview is ok, makes me think of her.

Gosh, you must get something to eat, hob !

shodatin , I hope you had a nice skype(s).

makes cosy spaces for whoever needs, tianc, kizzie, madmouse, NanaNina and anyone else in need.

Oh please don't worry about password and read receipt, Upward.

That sounds like standard good practice for anyone sending out confidential material (as all medical communications should be). It's not at all sinister.

The read receipt is a perfectly ordinary setting - DP's company has its email do this as default.

And the consultant is showing excellent practice in treating email consultations with the same security as face-to-face consultations. The secretary wouldn't need this level of confidentiality - tho' the CPN really ought to be following the doctor's example! The consultant may often email people like this, just has never happened to email you before.

Yes, you did namechange since the old thread, and the first thread didn't have a cybergarden title. So not only is there no reason to think you've been stalked, but it would be rather challenging to do so.

So the good news is, the emails really doesn't look sinister from here.

The bad news is, it may be an indicator that paranoia (ie symptom of illness) is creeping upwards again.

Fingers still firmly crossed this is a blip, and being with family may help lots (but also be tiring, which can worsen symptoms). But I'd be worried about you going into the Xmas closure period without speaking to one of the team and telling them about these symptoms. Trying to tough it out and then crashing would be rotten.

for you about your messed up transport today, too.

x-posted and missed cosy space beside fire!

Brilliiant explanations , thank you Tianc . upward has already left a message about mediction as a precautionary measure , and of course understand why GPs other than your usual aren't very good .

Hope comforting evening and a good sleep make the decision of whether to contact a different professional much clearer , as there could indeed be a touch of paranoia present . I tend to think of a degree of paranoia as being normal , < potentially dangerous advice here > whereas you know what's nomal for you in most circs , but might of course be too stressed to judge as well as usual . In truth , I don't think it would normally occur to you that someone had seen you on thread , but it would be a very typical thought for me...

Perhaps looking again at the worries you mention over the past 3 weeks as potentially signalling a blip will help you decide ?

Ah , sorry , just seen that your transport couldn't get you there for rearranged appt ... what a day

Summerhouse looks so comforting , thank you
Glorious sunshine here earlier, with a touch of sleet , then about a minute of snow through the bright light !