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im so rubbish at being a mum

113 replies

thisiscrap · 28/11/2005 16:09

thats it really.

Im fed up all the time.

I spend too much time on MN (have changed my name obv).

Weekends are fine when DP is at home to help and i dont lose my temper or feel miserable. During the week im left on my own with my kids and i want to scream.

They are good kids. But i shout at them all the time. My 2 yr old follows me round the house everywhere which drives me mad so i shout at her. She has no clue what she's doing wrong but says "sorry mummy" anyway and tries to cuddle me but i push her away. I just need some space from her but i dont know why. She is just beautiful. She must be bored out of her box because i leave her to play with her toys all day. I do the main functions of feeding and helping with the toilet but she demands my attention and i just cant give her it i go to bed every night with every intention of getting up feeling bright and perky the next day with plans of cake making or painting or going out but then spend hours trying to get to sleep. I wake up grumpy (even if my 7mth old hasnt woken in the night) and it goes down hill from there. I dont want to play with her, do things with her, leave the house or anything. She must be totally fed up too and certainly does things to attract my attention.

My DP knows im a bit fed up and there is nothing he can do about it but i just dont get why im ok if he's here but not when he's not. I feel so sorry for my DD - she doesnt deserve this. I love her so much but i just cant do this mum thing at the moment. Am now crying - which just makes it worse - im feeling sorry for myself but its her getting short shrift.

Sorry, long and miserable post.

OP posts:
QueenVictoria · 30/11/2005 23:27

Doh!

You live in liverpool i just remembered.

And i quite fancy a jaffa cake too

QueenVictoria · 30/11/2005 23:28

thanks hmc - have taken my first one tonight.

handlemecarefully · 30/11/2005 23:30

You'll feel so much better soon

FlameRobin · 01/12/2005 08:24

Lol, I'm in Bournemouth - Fastasleep's in Liverpool with her jaffa cakes (still think its bloody rude, she should move closer )

SnowQueenVictoria · 01/12/2005 09:21

ah - now bournemouth is much closer! Glad you are feeling a bit better today. I personally think im allergic to my own hormones

SnowQueenVictoria · 01/12/2005 09:25

i went straight to sleep last night. So DP tells me. I dont remember . Mustve totally exhausted myself. Snored like a buzz saw too apparently

Feel a bit fuzzy this morning. Must be high on 5 hours sleep

peachandpear · 01/12/2005 10:10

Hi. Couldn't log in yesterday cos DH was working at home and on the computer ALLLLL day and ALLLLL evening! Was dying to know how you had got on. So so glad you went to Drs and so so glad she was sympathetic. Take the ads. They will help. Where do you live? I live in Surrey. Are you near at all?

SnowQueenVictoria · 01/12/2005 10:21

i live in north london. we are all meeting up in dec at covent garden. you are welcome to join us if its not too far.

Hv has just rang, not my usual one. She offered to visit etc but i declined. We have builders all over the house today and tomorrow as we are having our loft converted at the mo.

She offered to send some leaflets on pnd. I thought this would be a good idea so my DP could read them. I think he is trying to understand but is struggling to tbh. Alot of people do struggle with that i think. If i could snap out of it i would.

peachandpear · 01/12/2005 10:42

Ah, thanks for invite. tbh I get a bit scared of going into London!!! Big place, lots of people, trains and things .....ahhhhhh. Poor u though, feeling like you do AND workmen and builders etc. . Good idea about getting leaflets for DP. Keep us posted about how you are going.

BudaBabeInAManger · 01/12/2005 11:00

Glad you are seeming more positive and that you DP is trying.

My sis had bad PND after each of her three and her DH still doesn't believe there is any such thing!!! He thinks he is wonderful tho so that's all right!!

Thankfully Sis is now much better but hers dragged on because she didn't get the right help.

Counselling is supposed to help too. But of course you have us lot for that!!

SnowQueenVictoria · 01/12/2005 18:05

too true budababe! DP thought half the problem was being on the pc but being on MN has been a huge help in some respects tbh.

Blu · 04/12/2005 15:15

QV - I hope that amongst everyhting else you are doing, that the ADs start to have an effect soon. I felt better alomost imediately - but on a different sort. Sorry your DH isn't being entirely understanding re ADs - tell him what my GP told me? That depression IS caused by a depletion of chemicals in the brain, that ADs get them back up to the level where you can start manufacturing your own again, and taking ADs for your brain is no more unnecessary than anyone who has depleted irno levels taking iron tablets!
Well done for all your other activities, good luck.

SnowQueenVictoria · 04/12/2005 21:36

Thanks Blu. that might help. DP is trying to understand it but is a bit peeved that i never let him know how ive been feeling.

Had a rough few days and the ADs arent working just yet except to make me quite drowsy. Which i guess is not such a bad thing but the doc said to give it 10 days.

To those lovely people that CAT'd me - i will reply soon i promise. Thank you all.

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