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im so rubbish at being a mum

113 replies

thisiscrap · 28/11/2005 16:09

thats it really.

Im fed up all the time.

I spend too much time on MN (have changed my name obv).

Weekends are fine when DP is at home to help and i dont lose my temper or feel miserable. During the week im left on my own with my kids and i want to scream.

They are good kids. But i shout at them all the time. My 2 yr old follows me round the house everywhere which drives me mad so i shout at her. She has no clue what she's doing wrong but says "sorry mummy" anyway and tries to cuddle me but i push her away. I just need some space from her but i dont know why. She is just beautiful. She must be bored out of her box because i leave her to play with her toys all day. I do the main functions of feeding and helping with the toilet but she demands my attention and i just cant give her it i go to bed every night with every intention of getting up feeling bright and perky the next day with plans of cake making or painting or going out but then spend hours trying to get to sleep. I wake up grumpy (even if my 7mth old hasnt woken in the night) and it goes down hill from there. I dont want to play with her, do things with her, leave the house or anything. She must be totally fed up too and certainly does things to attract my attention.

My DP knows im a bit fed up and there is nothing he can do about it but i just dont get why im ok if he's here but not when he's not. I feel so sorry for my DD - she doesnt deserve this. I love her so much but i just cant do this mum thing at the moment. Am now crying - which just makes it worse - im feeling sorry for myself but its her getting short shrift.

Sorry, long and miserable post.

OP posts:
essbee · 28/11/2005 23:28

Message withdrawn

Blu · 28/11/2005 23:34

Indeed AD's are not addictive. I was on a low dose for 8 months, no problem at all.

AND any MN-er who has met me can tell you (I hope!) that I am really quite normal and afaik exhibit no stereotyped symptoms of 'a woman who was on ADs' at all!- do not slop round Tesco in my dressing gown or fiddle with mu clothes with shaking hands, or have to push back a curtain of greasy hair in order to peer at you with blurry eyes.

Not on a good day, anyway

QueenVictoria · 28/11/2005 23:35

oh bum to this name changing lark.

you were all lovely. in fact gb - i know when talking to you you were making an effort to make conversation with me but i felt like i was being utterly boring. I also felt like i was boring you HM keep talking about DS and his feeding.

I have no life at the mo and nothing to talk about.

Daft thing is - im on MSN right now counselling my sil as she is on a low with her depression and feels she's heading for a breakdown (again)

QueenVictoria · 28/11/2005 23:37

And might take you up on that offer chicagomum. Just remember though - im crap at phoning.

chicagomum · 28/11/2005 23:38

QV seriously if you would like to meet up please call.

essbee · 28/11/2005 23:40

Message withdrawn

hunkermunker · 28/11/2005 23:40

QV, have you ever read a post from me? Bored talking about feeding babies? I think not

I've emailed you, btw - just wish I was still sitting next to you and I'd give you a great big hug x x x x

chicagomum · 28/11/2005 23:40

oh cr*p. x posts (but remember I have your number }. Although currently I have absolutely no voice at all (so if I have passed along my germs to you I apologise big time),

JessicaandRebeccasmummy · 28/11/2005 23:42

TIC - you could SO be me! (other than ive got a 16 month old and a 5 week old)

If you ever want to let off steam, cry or just chat (and i LOVE stories about kiddies - im just as bad) CAT me and ill probably send you the same amount of rubbish back!!

Big hugs to you xxx

JessicaandRebeccasmummy · 28/11/2005 23:43

Ive just seen it was you hun, you've got my email address... USE IT xxx

essbee · 28/11/2005 23:45

Message withdrawn

QueenVictoria · 28/11/2005 23:49

As soon as DS decides he can cope a night without me i'll take you up on that custy.

I live in North London btw to those that have asked. Please cat me if you are close by.

Blu - My dps mum and sis are both addicted to various substances and thats all he sees IYKWIM. His sis is definitely heading for another breakdown too.

hunkermunker · 28/11/2005 23:53

I'm in West London - close enough to meet up again, I'm sure. Not sure when, mind you, what with Christmas and imminent delivery of mini-HM, but definitely in the New Year. Want to meet those delicious children I saw a pic of on Saturday

Flossam · 29/11/2005 00:00

Oh no QV, I hope you didn't think I upped and left you.I certainly didn't mean to. I know I was a little tipsy (was it you telling me your DP worked in River Road?!) I seem to remember wondering off I think to talk to Bubble at one stage, I'm so sorry if you felt abandoned. That wasn't my intention. I am just embarrassingly ignorant at times (specially after a bottle). I really liked you and thought you were lovely, hey, I wouldn't have brought you a drink otherwise.

I'm sorry you are feeling like this, after a night out you are supposed to feel like life is for the living again, I'm really sorry you don't. I do too feel like this, but feel especially guilty when I've been at work for a few days in a row, then, being at home with DS I just want to slob. I do think that trying to limit yourself on here a bit can sometimes be the key. I've been trying to as I said to you on saturday (I remember that bit see!), and I feel happier with how I am with DS as I don't feel I always have to go and see if anyone has had anything to say. Not a popular opinion I'm sure but I found it helped.

Please cheer up. Shall we try and organise a day time meet with some of us soon? The lovely london lights with kids?

hunkermunker · 29/11/2005 00:02

A London lights meet with children would be lovely, Flossam - QV, would you be up for that?

QueenVictoria · 29/11/2005 00:04

am slow catching up here - sorry everyone. And thanks so much.

Im feeling all daft now.

(And JARM im guessing you have an idea why you havent received your pepparkakors yet.....i havent managed to muster up the energy to take my two in to town to get to the post office. Id give teh package to my DP to post from work but he's on a course this week)

Blu · 29/11/2005 00:06

Go and have that chat with your GP? You don't have to agre to anything - but i don't see why you have to suffer because your ILs are on something completely different!

Would it be immoral to suggest 'don't tell him'?

hunkermunker · 29/11/2005 00:08

Blimey, don't feel daft! Just make sure that you post when I have tears dripping off my chin when I have two to contend with. Ohhhh, I'm going to be outnumbered by small people in the New Year!

hunkermunker · 29/11/2005 00:08

And Blu...I was going to say that too re not telling him

essbee · 29/11/2005 00:08

Message withdrawn

QueenVictoria · 29/11/2005 00:09

That would be great.

Sorry Flossam - i didnt intend for people to feel bad at all (hope you got my other message under my crap name - im so rubbish at this cloak and dagger stuff). Its just how im feeling about it. I guess im seeing things in an odd perspective at the moment.

QueenVictoria · 29/11/2005 00:13

I gotta go - DS is having a meltdown.

Please cat me those who have suggested a meet up. Im struggling to keep up at the mo.

Thank you all again. will try and get to docs tomorrow.

JessicaandRebeccasmummy · 29/11/2005 07:21

QV - chill out babe, im not bothered about when i get the biscuits, more concerned about you. How about i send you the money first, then you will have to go into town to put the cheque in? Will that intice you to get out?

harpsichordcarrier · 29/11/2005 08:49

hey QV
trying hard to think of something profound to say but up all night with dd2 so this is the best I can come up with

kisses, HC xx

Lonelymum · 29/11/2005 09:04

Hope you feel better today QV. I certainly would if I had received all those lovely comments last night. And look, they aren't from complete strangers who just want to write nice things to you, a lot of those people have actaully met you and liked you! You are doing well girl!