Is anyone around?

[Gahsickofit]

i'm really not doing very well tonight :(
Just waiting for pills and beer to make me sleepy so I can go to bed, if they don't work, I don't know what will happen. I've been asking for help for days, I'm so sacred of losing it again. Thing is, when I am well, they all say I am really aware and it's great that I know my illness so well, but even then I say that when I have a relapse, it happens fast, within a day or two. I have been ringing them up now for two days to say I need help, and they sauy they will ring back and they don't.

Every day I get closer to the edge and pull myself back from totally losing it. I'm doing everything right - breathing slowly, acknowleding intrusive thoughts and hallcinations but not obeying them, eating properly, trying to get sleep, not forcing myself into situations that I know are high risk, and taking my pills like a good un, but still I'm getting worse.

Last time I lost it I had to spend the night in a police cell, screaming.

What is the actual point of crisis team? I'm tempted to ring, just because I feel like I could explain myself now, but would it do any good?

I don't want to piss them off by ringing inappropiately.

Gah, why do the samriatans or any such thing only have phone chat? Or email which takes ages? Why can't i email crisis team?

Have you been eating properly in the past few days?

Gah, you still there? Hope my last post didn't sound too nanny state. It is what I ask myself and my bi-polar friends if they are in any sort of a state. It sounds like you have a mixed state, as they call it.

State,state,state sigh (sneaky hug, I know it's not strictly MN)

on phone to smaritans