Save me from myself, PLEASE

[UpTheJunction]

Hi everyone, first post - and it's a depressing one

It's the middle of the night and I am sat here in tears and don't know how to sort myself out.

Where do I even start??

I have a 4 year old son who is severely autistic and I'm in a loveless relationship with his father. My life is shit. 5 years ago I had a career, money, I was okay-looking and I had some self respect. Now I'm a fat, frumpy, miserable mother who drinks too much and doesn't sleep enough. My house is a mess, I have no friends and am drowning in debt. How do I even begin to sort this disaster out?

I'm feeling particularly depressed tonight as I have just recieved my son's DLA forms and am having a really hard time facing up to all the things that he cannot do that all the other children of his age can do. Half term is never great for me as I don't get a break from him during the day.

I was going to put this on the Special Needs board, but this is more about me than my son.

How do I rebuild my life? I so much want to be a person again, not just a mother. I want to look at myself in the mirror and like what I see and I want to wake up in the morning and not dread the day ahead of me.

Is there anyone else who has been where I am now and is now enjoying life, or at least not hating it?

Sorry for this rambled message. Too much vodka and not enough sleep.

Hi

DN is 6 and a half years old. I'll get my mum to ask about respite care. I know she did ask if she could have any help with getting DN to school, as it's an hours walk from my mums house and not on a bus route, but SS just suggested changing her school. I've been trying to put my mum off this idea because it's not fair on DN at the moment. She's already so withdrawn and I think this will make her more insecure. So at the moment DH is trying to finish work early enough to pick my mum up and take her to school to pick DN up and then take them back home again. I can't help because I have to pick DS up at the same time.

My sister has a SW and I know my mum has her phone number, so yes we should try to speak to her about what the oucome might be.

Thanks

Hi
I have known SS transport child miles so that they can keep the child at the same school. As I said I know they vary but I would push for transport help. They must be able to do some thing what about if they paid for a taxi for your mum to take them to and from school.
Are the school aware of the current situation, would they be able to help with SS. Maybe if school could say they feel it would be better for her to stay there or something.
Take care