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Original poster

DS conceived by rape. not coping. help!

99 replies

babynoah · 12/12/2010 22:27

I was raped last year, my DS is now 7.5 MO. I have PND and i've been trying to work through it with my CPN, but i'm really not coping. I care about DS but i don't love him, I can't. All i can think about is how he came to be here. How much i didn't want this. how i hate myself for what happened. how that man has destroyed me.

I have a beautiful little boy but i can't enjoy him.

Please does anyone have any ideas.

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 12/12/2010 22:33

What a dreadful situation for you to be in. No wonder you feel so terrible.

Have you reported the rape?

Have you considered speaking to social services about adoption?

stripeywoollenhat · 12/12/2010 22:33

no experience of any use, but didn't want to leave this unanswered. have you been in contact with a rape crisis centre? they might have some ideas of how to help you cope with the situation you're in.

here is the web address

so Sad for you and your lo.

Original poster
babynoah · 12/12/2010 22:38

I haven't reposted it. it was a customer at work, so don't know who they are.

I live with my parents, they would never let me give him up for adoption.

thanks stripeywoollenhat i'm having a look at that site now.

OP posts:
StarlightMcKenzie · 12/12/2010 22:39

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StarlightMcKenzie · 12/12/2010 22:40

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ChippingIn · 12/12/2010 22:41

It's not up to your parents - it is not their decision. Do they know you were raped?

ChippingIn · 12/12/2010 22:41

How old are you?

SantasKnickersOnMyHead · 12/12/2010 22:41

Starlight, you know the rules!

Sorry to hear you have gone through this op.

Original poster
babynoah · 12/12/2010 22:44

i'm 21. i was working and living at the hotel where it happened. afterwards i quit my job and moved home.

no, they don't know. i can't bring myself to tell my mum

StarlightMcKenzie the pomtroll is sweet. thanks

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 12/12/2010 22:44

What do you want to happen babynoah? It is not down to your parents. It is your decision.

There will be ways of finding out who this person is.

StarlightMcKenzie · 12/12/2010 22:45

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Mimile · 12/12/2010 22:46

the rule about it not being up to you SMK

StarlightMcKenzie · 12/12/2010 22:48

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Original poster
babynoah · 12/12/2010 22:51

i don't want to give my son away. i care about him.

i just want to be able to move on. i don't want him to have ruined my life. i'm not sure what i should do for the best- in regards to him not my LO

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 12/12/2010 22:53

You need to go to your GP and ask about counselling to help you come to terms with what has happened.

Original poster
babynoah · 12/12/2010 22:53

benefit of the doubt???

OP posts:
Original poster
babynoah · 12/12/2010 22:56

I have a CPN, we are trying to work through some of my guilt...but it puts me under such a cloud for the rest of the day, and i fear that trying to face up to it is making me an even worse mother.

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 12/12/2010 22:56

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Original poster
babynoah · 12/12/2010 22:57

i'm getting confused. can someone explain to me what's going on? i'm pretty new to MN.

OP posts:
reddaisy · 12/12/2010 22:59

Just ignore Starlight and keep posting OP.

This is your life and you have to be the one to make decisions about yourself and your DS.

This must be very hard for you, I can't imagine what you are going through and well done for getting through the pregnancy and to bring your son up so far.

thisisyesterday · 12/12/2010 22:59

babynoah- starlightmckenzie is accusing you of being a troll. ie, she thinks you are making this up for fun

MollieO · 12/12/2010 22:59

Starlight I've PM'd you.

methodsandmaterials · 12/12/2010 22:59

No idea what's going on either, but come on starlight... do you really want to go there? Just report then hide the thread.

StarlightMcKenzie · 12/12/2010 23:00

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reddaisy · 12/12/2010 23:01

I guess you need to find a way to see your DS as YOUR son and not as a reminder of what happened to you.

A lot of mothers struggle to bond with their children when they have planned to conceive for years, so don't blame yourself.

Wishing you the very best of luck.