"sad really that I’ve spent most of my life judging myself by my weight."
But at least you're fighting.
Strongly believe acceptance of personal agency / responsibility crucial to success in all aspects of life, so don't want to (and don't) blame anybody but self. BUT I remember as child in 1970s/1980s very few kids/people fat. Human nature has not changed in 40 years (average person no greedier), nor have human genes changed, but something has changed. "Obesogenic environment" concept done to death, but has kernel of truth nonetheless.
Until ~40-50 years ago fight was about getting enough cals. In terms of maintaining healthy weight, we were wading with the flow - not hard to do. Then direction of flow inverted; shift away from fat towards HFCS the key catalyst here?
Now we wade Sisyphus-like against a current of cheap calories, driven back a step for every two we take by sheer volume of water. Stumble once, lose five, ten paces. Only solution: move to river banks where current is gentler, eddies form, fish dream, damselflies perch on reeds. Quieter place. Can make progress there without being washed away.
Corollary: veer away from obesogenic environment by making certain food types unavailable / hard to access. Blood Sugar Diet and/or fasting?