Will you ban your children from certain sports

[CURIOUSMIND]

when they are playing instruments seriously?
I can see the reason is obvious.But when they are still young, deserve to do something else as well, will you ban them?
What do you do to avoid the risk?How about school PE?

Age 13

'FallenCaryatid, how do you find someones earlier posts?'

I looked because I was surprised at the OP's assumption that everyone would know her. So I used Advanced search (top right of the screen), put in her user name and searched the last year.
222 messages in a year, so I felt less puzzled about not knowing who she was as opposed to more prolific posters.

Thank you FallenKaryatid

Fallencayatid,
You feel banning an 8 years old from contact sports is not wise is completely fair opinion.Appreciated.
I don't understand what's this to do with my DCs g&t subjects? Those G&T stuff means next to nothing to me.

DD (also a dancer) is very wary of contact sports & hurdles (oddly enough)

She has chatted with the PE teachers and they have agreed that she doesn't have to do them (particularly dodge ball/rugby/hockey/football & hurdles) - she is up for pretty much everything else they offer and she/they made the decisions fairly unilaterally

She is 14 & has made this arrangement during yr9 - & I guess it's her decision

She certainly gets enough exercise

Maryz,
I mean it's true.That' why I raised the question, (see OP), but couldn't just say no, don't do anymore.You generalized much clearer and interesting.

A child is more than his or her talent no matter how brilliant, and to give a child the impression that the rest of his or her interests come second to that talent is a recipe for problems, especially if the focus on the talent has the effect of keeping the child from the company of other children, which it can do depending on how seriously the parent takes it and the interests of the friends.

Usually when I see 'child...music..seriously' what I read is 'parent...music...seriously', because 'child' and 'seriously' do not normally go hand in hand. 'Child aged 8' and 'seriously' -- double that.

I agree with Maryz -- what separates the wheat from the chaff is passion from within. If that is not there you will be looking at burnout. If that is there, the child will freely choose what brings him or her joy.

Your post OP reminded me of an interview I heard on the radio recently with the Canadian concert pianist, Janina Fialkowska.

She had a very aggressive tumour in her arm, had radical surgery and has resumed her career.

Obviously, she was already a wonderful player but her desire to play again played a huge part in her being able to.

My point is that if your child really wants to do something (and you can afford to support them), let them do it, whether it be playing the violin or being a prop forward. Don't push them down a particular path because it is your dream.

Quite right Katy Mac DD doesn't do school sport for fitness (she's very fit from dancing) and can always opt out of rugby etc if she wanted to.

Serena Williams won Wimbledon this year after about 2 years out of action caused by stepping on a bit of broken glass. From which I conclude that: (1) accidents can, and do, happen to anyone at anytime, regardless of precautions; and (2) they aren't necessarily the end of the world, even if they mean a long time out of action.

So no, I wouldn't stop my child from enjoying "normal" sports.

DS has a serious athlete in his class who is actually , very excitingly taking part in the Olympics He says this person takes part in PE (when they are actually in school not off somewhere competing!!)

I don't know if I would ban but I would steer my son in another direction sporting wise. Swimming is a big part of his physical activity and I'm looking at other water sports - canoeing, rowing etc - and he likes cricket and I'm unaware of injuries from that.

Rugby I have banned because he's had a few serious head and ankle injuries and as he's not a huge fan I told school he wasn't doing it.

But I send him to a home ed flexi school now which is set in the woods and they do all sorts: climb trees, light fires, use sharp implements. It's not ideal but he has a few passions in life and they do conflict - music and bear grylls!

I had a friend who played double bass for a living; he fell off a pushbike & dislocated his thumb which meant he was out of work for like 6 weeks. So he felt he had to give up cycling. He missed the bike terribly, hated giving it up, but didn't feel he could change his work.

Still, who would have thought a little cycle ride was too dangerous? So I think only full-on cotton wool will protect against all risks, but too much cotton wool is a heavy unpleasant risk in itself.

So I like I said from start, I would talk over the options & risks with the child. Make them part of the decision.

Rugby is pretty risky from all standpoints! I'd let DC play if enthused but happy to steer them away if that's easy enough, too.

one boy who was a leading light in the school rugby team played for years without incident and then tripped over and broke his leg when posing for the team photo!!

I wouldn't see the point.,

DT2 does the 'risk' sport, (kickboxing) and has never broken anything. He is also a general maniac, having fallen out of a first floor window, and being a keen cyclist.

DT1 does violin, and broke his arm last year falling off a climbing frame.

I am being a bit cautious this year, just for a few weeks - because I don't want another summer holiday marred by plaster cast, but I wouldn't do it in general.

I live in Oz, and they have a belief genuine research that participating in sports, actually helps a child do better at school, and them getting better results.
Am putting this to the test with dd1, as she does gym, and swimming, and is fairly bright, although she is only 2y 9m :)

With rugby the children are trained young. I have friends who's kids are playing rugby, and think they're around 7/8 yrs old. They don't just throw them on the pitch, they are trained young.
Mind you, I wouldn't want to be in a scrum. Although dh is partial to a few bruises when he's been jumped on!

Honestly no I wouldn't.

I was a reasonably talented musician in my youth and (without wanting to sound boastful) I played to a higher level than average. Not breathtakingly brilliant but enough to secure a place at a Conservatoire. I still took part in lots of netball and hockey outside school because I enjoyed them too. No girls rugby in those days though! :)

I do remember when I was 16 getting a swollen finger which meant I didn't play for weeks and got a right telling off by my teacher but other than that was quite lucky I guess. Ive had more injuries as an adult than a child!

I think actually these things tend to work themselves out iyswim. Hockey was the first activity I chose to drop because it clashed with rehersals and at that time music came first. I played netball for years though but only kept it up at school level (at one time I used to play for a local league too) but again that was my choice.

There comes a point where rehersals and practice take up so much time that there's isn't time to commit to anything else. I was quite happy to do that and made my own mind up. If anything had been banned I think I would have been resentful but my parents just let me get on with it.

It might be interesting to note at 18 I decided a career in music was not what I wanted (having spent years saying it was) and went to uni to do something totally different much to my parents disbelief!

CURIOUS - I banned rugby for my DS and in fact any contact games.
Luckily, he does not enjoy team games (which is often a case for musicians). So he does swimming and tennis (which he is not allowed if he plays violin shortly after as you cannot hold the bow properly having just played tennis).

I agree that you cannot protect children fully and boys will be boys but I dont think contact games and music mix together very well.

I have problems with ice-skating as he is really keen but an activity asking for sprained wrists.. So he still does it on occations.

It really depends how serious your DC and what music means to them.
We had a broken finger last summer and he used to sob quietly in his pillow at night because it was unberable for him not being able to play.

Re-read the thread again - FallenCaryatid - I dont know what you have been teaching for the past 30 years but I am glad you wont be teaching any DC of mine. There is a big difference between being an abusive parent and a parent supporting a musically gifted child. May be "banning" is an unfortunate choice of words but a caring supportive parent will make choices for their 8 year olds activities .

Just because it is considered to be "normal" for most children to play rough contact sports , a musical child quite often would not enjoy it all. Being piled up underneath a bunch of muddy boys wearing boots with metal studs is not their cup of tea. And not being able to play for 6 weeks can have a devistating effect on an ambitious little musician.

Anyway, I cant help feeling we could do with a special topic for musical mums - for practical advise and exchange of experience of bringing up our "ubnormal" children without being accused of being oppressive and abusive parents.

I know a boy who comes from a very musical family, and plays with the National Youth Orchestra.

His parents, who both also play in orchestras and are music teachers have always allowed him to play sport, despite the fact that he seems to be very accident prone, and has broken a number of bones while playing sport both during PE and with friends in the playground.

But, when it comes down to it, so long as your child is active enough to be healthy, then it's up to you whether you risk some of the more physical sports.

Definitely not - I would let the DC choose for themselves what they wanted to do.