Abuse while running :(

[TheGaffer]

Honestly…I despair…three times in the last six months alone I’ve been shouted out while out running.

1. two schoolboys…maybe 14-15 shouting at me from the other side of the road (hey fatty). Was irritated but ignored them and kept on running. (And I’m not fat!)
2. One man in his 60s I’d guess when I overtook him (by running on the road and giving him plenty space on the pavement shouted that I was so ugly no man would have me) (I mean…I’m not stunning by any means but I don’t think I’d qualify as THAT ugly!)
3. this morning 6am three 20 something men in the park sat on a bench about 10 feet away from me shouting “hey you in the pink tshirt- you’re a dog”

Im 46 and have run for years. In the past I used to get the odd wolf whistle or some sexist comment which i ignored but generally would wear headphones so I never really noticed. Recently I dont trust my eyesight so stopped wearing headphones so I could be more aware of my surroundings. It’s been a revelation (in a bad way)

It’s not even like I live in a dodgy area…it’s all leafy suburbs. I was really upset this morning when I got home and I told my husband who was furious and wanting to go and have a word with the men (which I dissuaded him from as there were three of them). He is also a runner and I asked him how many times he had abuse shouted at him while he was running…never…because of course, no man is going to yell abuse at another (likely fitter and faster man).

Ive never felt unsafe and I’ve not engaged with any of them, but honestly…what makes people think it is ok to shout abuse at solo female runners?

That's disgusting of them. I can only think those people had very small egos indeed.

I think the answer is to have a list of retorts for each situation and keep on running. It’s depressing how unpleasant some people are but sometimes they need to be called out on it.

//

Once feeling bolshy and pissed off at a car full of white van men shouting sexual insults at me I stopped turned round and told them to fuck off

All this did was make them drive up closely behind me while reving their engine and calling me a worse names.

And no I didn't report it as it was a plain old van with no markings and I didn't get a reg

I don’t run, but I am fat so I get stuff shouted at me on a regular basis.

I was out this morning with the dog - a male runner coming towards me slowed as the (happy, bouncy, Teddy bear) dog and he went through the pinch point together (me sufficiently behind and not impeding his way in any way) - the look a malevolent aggression that crossed his face when he realised the dog was mine was chilling.

My husband was about 10m behind us and based on many occasions like this I have no doubt that the runner wouldn't have had that look on his face at all if it had been my husband with our dog and not me, a woman.

There is no way he would have said it if you're husband has been there because your husband would probably have punched him.

I've had comments made to me in the past but I just tried to ignore them. That is all you can do. It is often bold ugly fat men. So I just pity them.

Reading a thread like this makes me feel that my original thought that they only do it because they hate women because they can't get a girlfriend is probably true.

It has nothing to do with what we look like.

I got cat called and called a fat bitch my 2 different white van men in a row once.
Not even running, pushing a pram.

Wish I'd had a spare couple of bricks in my pocket to throw, sadly I don't carry them with me.

These men are pure scum.

https://amp.theguardian.com/society/2023/mar/07/how-harassment-by-men-puts-women-off-running

If the link works, this is an interesting article from the Guardian Australia

'And I STILL wouldn't shag YOU!' back at them.

Sorry, Op. That's just awful this has happened to you. 😞 Please don't let them destroy your motivation.

Count me in as another fat C25k-er whose only motivation to get up at the arse-crack of dawn to do runs is to avoid EVERYONE. And if I do see the occasional person out, they're usually too tired to say anything.

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-12-05/harassment-female-runners-gendered-issue-no-simple-solution/8086354?utm_campaign=abc_news_web&utm_content=link&utm_medium=content_shared&utm_source=abc_news_web
If the link works, this is from the Sydney Morning Herald newspaper in 2016 - and it's still happening!
When I used to go out running I had men in cars try to push me off the road into the gutter. It was truly scary.

Oops it was from the Australian Broadcasting Commission, sorry.

' we’re not hurting anyone or taking up space. '

Oh but you are. You are hurting their pride that you are fit and able to run whilst they are younger and less fit. They therefore have to mock your age and try to discourage you from showing them up. They also need to keep women in their place. These are small minded shitty individuals who can only bolster themselves up by attempting to kick down climb over others. They're also counting on the fact that you won't stop to challenge them or outwit them.

This is why if I run or jog I use a treadmill in the gym

I like to think I would stop and give them each a specific insult about their bodies and faces to give them something to niggle at their egos.

In reality I’m not sure!

I stopped running after two horrible incidents within a week of each other.

The first was when a car full of grown fucking men threw eggs at me, the second was a different man who took a photo of me running and posted it on a local Facebook group with a caption about how fat and ugly I was.

That post was up for days before the admin finally took it down. Dozens of comments from men tearing every aspect of me apart.

All of these men were complete strangers. Men really do hate us.

Oh My God….that’s disgusting. I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m so angry it has stopped you from doing something so wonderful…please find another way to run…with a running buddy? In the gym? Don’t let those fuckers win.

Hubby is a runner as am I we both get comments sometimes but just ignore it

As a female cyclist, I've received a few shouts/ yells from white van man.

Perhaps a website to upload content and name and shame is needed?

its £35 on Amazon for a body cam with 3 hours of recording. My daughter has one for walking the dog and I have just brought one for starting coach to 5 K / I love my dash cam and happy to put up photos of the man driving on my side of the road who called me a four eyed count whilst I was driving on the left hand side whilst he came around the corner on the right - the van had the company details on and his employer was very interested in the footage I emailed, as was the police. We ought to name and shame

Bravo @Duchessofspace !

Honestly, get contacts and wear the headphones. They are essential. Recently I had a couple of the black-clad, balaclava-wearing, electric vehicle young guys shouting something at me. Headphones mean I don’t have to take on what they are saying.

And yeah, I’m sort of getting older and the nature of the comments might change. Tbh, ANY comment is unwelcome and it pains me that I have to drown out those fellow humans. But, cyclists and runners are seen as fair game, and women get the worst of the mental abuse, men more often get the violence.

Of course it's all men...of all ages too

This is a great idea