Abuse while running :(

[TheGaffer]

Honestly…I despair…three times in the last six months alone I’ve been shouted out while out running.

1. two schoolboys…maybe 14-15 shouting at me from the other side of the road (hey fatty). Was irritated but ignored them and kept on running. (And I’m not fat!)
2. One man in his 60s I’d guess when I overtook him (by running on the road and giving him plenty space on the pavement shouted that I was so ugly no man would have me) (I mean…I’m not stunning by any means but I don’t think I’d qualify as THAT ugly!)
3. this morning 6am three 20 something men in the park sat on a bench about 10 feet away from me shouting “hey you in the pink tshirt- you’re a dog”

Im 46 and have run for years. In the past I used to get the odd wolf whistle or some sexist comment which i ignored but generally would wear headphones so I never really noticed. Recently I dont trust my eyesight so stopped wearing headphones so I could be more aware of my surroundings. It’s been a revelation (in a bad way)

It’s not even like I live in a dodgy area…it’s all leafy suburbs. I was really upset this morning when I got home and I told my husband who was furious and wanting to go and have a word with the men (which I dissuaded him from as there were three of them). He is also a runner and I asked him how many times he had abuse shouted at him while he was running…never…because of course, no man is going to yell abuse at another (likely fitter and faster man).

Ive never felt unsafe and I’ve not engaged with any of them, but honestly…what makes people think it is ok to shout abuse at solo female runners?

So sorry to hear this but you just need to pity them, not take any notice of them.

They do it because they can't get a girlfriend because no woman would go out with such a cunt.

They are jealous that you are you have a partner and they don't.

"No Thanks ... Shall I call you a wanker?" (or dickhead or whatever insult seems to fit)

That's just it, all the men who say things like this are fat and ugly themselves and can't get girlfriends. That is why they are so angry.

I can sadly probably count on my hands the number of times someone (always a man) IS NOT rude, offensive or generally odd. I run five times a week and have done for years 😵‍💫

Latest one - a man stopped his car on a quiet road to tell me I shouldn’t be eating a packet of crisps. I was running 20 miles but that’s not the point. He didn’t say anything to the man who was behind me eating a pork pie (we’d been in the shop together)

I hate it but I refuse to stop.

My own experiences (and those of female friends) are similar.

I go to the gym. A colleague runs with her running group… few women I know run alone. Well, unless they have a dog. I

Really glad I live in a nice area where I can run by myself without being heckled at. Pretty shocked to hear this is still a thing. I had it in the 90s but not now.

He probably has a lot of existential rage because he still lives with his mum.

Ha! This was the conversation I was imagining I should have had for the rest of my run…along with various pleasant scenarios of their mums telling them off and making them apologise for being such utter pricks 😂

Alas it was 6am, the park was deserted and they were probably drunk or high so who knows what that might have turned into…I value my own safety too much to poke the bears. But they know that. That’s why they do it.

@IMustDoMoreExercise it did make me wonder if he would have said it if my DH had been there , probably wouldn't have done, he seemed the sort who would pick on women alone but dare not say a word if a man was present!

This was a few years ago now but it still stings a bit when I think about. I think out of anger more than anything, and reading all these comments shows it's all too common, sadly. I fear for my DD in this world I really do.

It's crazy. I follow someone on YT who is overweight and posts her exercise stuff
The comments... it's always men
Like they will say "fat people should exercise" and then mock them when they do.. can't win

I've lost count of the amount of times I've had nasty things shouted at me by rancid men.

Worst was getting a glass bottle thrown at me that shattered and sent shards of glass up my legs. My crime, I ignored a creepy pair of blokes in a works van who were making comments about my breasts. So they drive back round to throw the bottle at me.

I had a man tell me once that at my wwight l should have been running on soft surfaces. Proper took the wind out of my sails and l was soshocked l didn't think of a quick answer. Fat cunt he was as well. If he ever said it again l would tell him too. Worrying thing was he was my friend's dad.

I got abuse two weeks ago literally two minutes after setting off from home from a car full of men (so surprising) and I live up in the mountains in a hamlet with under 80 full-time residents. DH was actually behind me on the electric bike and when they spotted him they accelerated away. I don't know what they said, I don't want to know, I guess I can thank my hearing impairment for that ...

Also about two weeks before that, having set off from home, I'd hiked up to the Col behind our house, at 7 a.m. in the morning. I walked past a group of four men in their mid-20s, I said "Morning" as I went past the first two, who responded. The second two, clearly not having heard, started started shouting "Good morning" over and over again, clearly sarcastistically and with the intention of "punishing" me for not having said hello (even though I did). I am a 40 year old, overweight woman on her own up a mountain, miles from the nearest habitation - I was both furious and scared.

I always wear headphones when running, even if I don't listen to music, just so I can ignore any comments.

Jeez, some people are weirdos!

I’ve not been running long (about 2 months) but no one has yelled or been rude to me yet. I’ve never given it a 2nd thought till reading these comments. I run along a route that is popular with runners though and it’s away from the road.

I run 2-3 a week, and have never had a comment or anything (that I've noticed). I do wear headphones though. I live in a city and tend to run on routes in parks where there are lots of other runners.

@GoblinMode i was pretty oblivious until I stopped wearing headphones a few months ago. I’m wondering if I should just wear them without music and hope it works as a deterrent.

Some men and boys are cunts, and like nothing better than making a woman feel uneasy and like a victim. A grim truth.

Maybe I'm extra lucky but I've been running for nearly 5 months now and never had a comment. I do go out early though when there aren't many cars or people around. I doubt I'd go round the playing fields at 10pm.

I don't wear headphones because music takes away from being outside for me. I want to hear birds, wind in trees etc.

I lived in a more built-up area previously and used to get some intimidation if I was cycling, and I've not experienced that here either - drivers are much more considerate in general.

I occasionally run with a chest body cam on if I’m running at night or very early, while in the city. I’ve used it on occasion at my rural home and caught nothing but a lovely badger and some deer.

It has a steadying aspect so footage, in the event of an assault, would be useful.

Pretty bloody awful that we have to go to these lengths.

I sometimes wish I had somewhere busier to go running, as I can often be out for an hour and not see a soul. After reading all this I think I’ve changed my mind!

My most recent call outs...'nice arse!' x one million
'Go lady'
'can I help you off with that wet top/shirt/t shirt?'
'cheer up love '
'good for you/go you/well done'
And some wanker smacked my bottom.
Aged 61. Normal looking woman.

You edit it, then get a man e.g. DH or DP to post it on social media for you under an account they run. They then deal with the comments and take commenters to task. They will probably get some threats when people are recognised even if their faces are pixelated.

The point is men need to take other men to task over this.

My two very good friends (very attractive, but both around a stone overweight) literally got heckled the entirety of their run. They went to a large quiet field to run laps as they felt self conscious, but encountered 3, 20 something year olds shouting at them the entire way that they were 'dogs, fat and ugly' and 'why bother, nobody will want to shag you anyway'. My one friend was mortified and wanted to stop but the other told her to just ignore them. Both have not attempted to run again.

I have no idea why people do this?! I sometimes wonder if it's because other people are jealous that somebody else is trying to better themselves or they look after themselves well?

Hi OP, fellow runner here and I can absolutely sympathise. I've experienced this mani times over the years.

Someone's husband/brother/son/fiancée all thinking this is ok.

It's really not and like you I feel sad that our daughters probably have a lifetime of similar to put up with.

• I best caveat my post with NAMALT blah blah blah before someone comes along to remind us of this. My answer? Absolutely but Way Too Many Men Are Like This Too Often. Of the others, not enough of them do anything to stop it

I'm sorry this is happening to you, OP.

I've been really lucky. In over 20 years of running and cycling regularly I've had loads of good-natured heckling but very little unpleasantness. For a while I thought women who claimed to be targeted for abuse from men when out running were exaggerating, for I ran all over the grotty parts of the city in which I lived and never felt threatened. Then I went out for some runs with my teenage daughter, and with our young and very pretty au pair, and was horrified at the comments and the actual kerb-crawling. My son also got far more abuse than I ever did.

To all the joggers from the Jim Fixx era at whom my schoolfriends and I used to shout, "Sexy legs!", I apologise. We thought we were hilarious and would have horrified to know that we might be upsetting you.