Abuse while running :(

[TheGaffer]

Honestly…I despair…three times in the last six months alone I’ve been shouted out while out running.

1. two schoolboys…maybe 14-15 shouting at me from the other side of the road (hey fatty). Was irritated but ignored them and kept on running. (And I’m not fat!)
2. One man in his 60s I’d guess when I overtook him (by running on the road and giving him plenty space on the pavement shouted that I was so ugly no man would have me) (I mean…I’m not stunning by any means but I don’t think I’d qualify as THAT ugly!)
3. this morning 6am three 20 something men in the park sat on a bench about 10 feet away from me shouting “hey you in the pink tshirt- you’re a dog”

Im 46 and have run for years. In the past I used to get the odd wolf whistle or some sexist comment which i ignored but generally would wear headphones so I never really noticed. Recently I dont trust my eyesight so stopped wearing headphones so I could be more aware of my surroundings. It’s been a revelation (in a bad way)

It’s not even like I live in a dodgy area…it’s all leafy suburbs. I was really upset this morning when I got home and I told my husband who was furious and wanting to go and have a word with the men (which I dissuaded him from as there were three of them). He is also a runner and I asked him how many times he had abuse shouted at him while he was running…never…because of course, no man is going to yell abuse at another (likely fitter and faster man).

Ive never felt unsafe and I’ve not engaged with any of them, but honestly…what makes people think it is ok to shout abuse at solo female runners?

Some vile people about. We should be able to go about our business in the same way as , most, men can. I think if i didn't feel threatened i would call them out.

Not an answer (I've obviously been very lucky and have never had this), but have you considered bone conduction headphones if you would still like music?

I feel much safer with them than the in-ear type, because you can hear road noise etc. with no problems.

I’m not a runner, I’ve done couch25k 3 times and be never kept it up. I had some unpleasant comment during those 3 periods of running. I’m now much more overweight and needing to Jo my game and sort myself out. This thread has made my mind up to join a gym rather than do anything outdoors which would probably be by myself and more of a target. It’s a very sorry state of affairs but I have no idea what the answer is.

In the , hopefully, unlikely event of any indecent behaviour always report it to the police

It’s horrible isn’t it :( I’ve not run for a while as currently pregnant but I used to get similar comments all the men/boys. There’s just something so wrong in the world still :(

I'm a new runner (did C25K a few months ago and now run 3 times a week). I run really slowly and some people can actually walk faster than I can run. I've been astounded by the number of people feeling the need to sneer or comment. Some of them are middle aged or older. I use headphones and just ignore. I'm not going to let them stop me doing something that makes me ferl good.

It’s shit OP and I’m sorry it happens to you.

I’ve had pervy comments when running on my own and also stupid ones from older men that just have to say something. If you don’t answer or smile, they say something shitty. Always men.

Now I only run with my son or with friends that include a mix of women and men. Never any comments when there’s a man running with me/us. If I don’t have anyone to run with, I use our treadmill. It’s fucking annoying OP so you have my sympathy.

It's really tempting to just face it down

"You fat twat"
Stop running. Turn slowly back.
"Pardon?"
"I said you fat twat"
"Why?"
"More abuse.. yadda yadda"
"Why are you saying that"
"Yadda yaddda" - hopefully starting to bluster out and look not so brave now
"Oh ok, not important then. I'm going to head off now."

But I am in no way brave enough to actually do it in case it escalates

That sounds awful, op! I’ve never had any horrible comments like that out running except when my neighbour told me he doesn’t know how people my size can run.

Because ,men don’t like women
because they can
because they know / think they are stronger than u so u can’t fight back
because they feel shame you are faster than them so need to bring u down to feel better
because your trying to better yourself and they think your getting above yourself
because they are nasty twats
because society lets them get away with such behaviour and they know they won’t be challenged

I dont run (spinal injury) but i do walk, fast pace, sweating when i finish, trying to lose weight. I stick to busy well lit paths and i like to go out around 6 am as not many people around, and i also wear ipods, and listen to my music loud, must have had comments shouted at me but i havent heard them.

i tend to get people (dog walkers) trying to strike up a conversation with me, very polite and nice but annoying when i have to pause my timer.

All of these men hate women there is no other explanation.
I would love for women to punch these men to the ground like a man probably would.

Some people are absolutely vile. I remember getting abuse and cat calls when I was overweight (more so than I am now), and also when I was hugely underweight (due to illness). Also often when I was walking/running/cycling. Always from men, of all different ages.

Nowadays, I'm lucky enough to have space for a treadmill, so I use that as I felt so vulnerable doing road running. I don't get it at all: I look at people running/cycling and think, "good on you". I wouldn't dream of shouting out nasty things, I don't understand why there are people out there who think that this disgusting behaviour is acceptable.

because society lets them get away with such behaviour and they know they won’t be challenged

This!

It's disgusting. In your case I would be tempted to face up to that twat who I think you said regularly makes that same comment about calling the cab. You'd hope with his poor wife there it wouldn't escalate too much.

I've been lucky it would seem and not faced similar when out on my own (always sticking to main roads) but once a week I go out with a running club and the amount of youths in cars who feel the need to either beep or stick their heads out of the window and shout and jeer is unbelievable. This is always to mixed sex groups too. Just why???

Porn
men think we are just there for their entertainment,how dare we do something like running for ourselves
society has changed so much ,even the good guys go along with the bad guys ,they don’t call them out any more ,if they can get away with it they will

look at the amount of gang rapes abroad,..entitled males on holiday ,thinking they can get away with rape ,one of the rapes I read the men didn’t even know each other ,yet knew what the others were thinking enough to join in ,and not worry one of them would grass the others up .like a pack of dogs .that sort of pack mentality shows us what your normal every day joe thinks about women …there to be used and abused if they can get away with it

They think it gives them power over you. Imagine how sad their lives must be to resort to this and ignore it.

When it comes down to it you're probably right, along with previous posters who have said something similar. The fact that most of us can't retaliate physically is how they think they can get away with it and dare to do it in the first place.

Those teenagers who threw stones at us wouldn't have dared do that to two male runners. We had to ignore (I was furious as we were hit) but we didn't look back, pretended we hadn't noticed, while maintaining our speed. Out of sight we sped up and found a route out. Posters here agreed that I'd taken the best course of action in doing that.

Another thing I sometimes do (though when walking alone) is to wear earphones even if they're not switched on. It's easier to pretend you can't hear someone, and can deter them from making comments at all if they see you're wearing them.

I'm sorry that so many of you have been subjected to such awful comments and behaviour.

I had a comment recently when I was running down a hill, a woman walking up said loudly to a someone she was with, not bothered that I could hear, "I hope I don't look as bad as that girl running there." I go really red when I exercise, but it feels so good to run, I'm just going to keep on exercising, be healthy and outlive the idiots who feel the need to comment and shame others like that.

I've had that and I wasn't running.

Some men are tossers.

I had one shouting something really rude, I looked up to see where it was coming from and this fat bald idiot male says "I ain't talking to you speccy, fuck off you ugly c**t". I had literally just locked eyes with him for 2 seconds.

Or the guy who stopped his bike and I thought was going to ask directions, no, he stopped to tell me what a "moose" I was, laughed and then made barking noises as he carried on.

Even when I had DD in her pram, newborn baby, in the shopping centre, full of people, had some bloke in his twenties shout at me "alright minger, fucking fat bitch"

I've been in tears before. I think it should be treated as a criminal offence but it never is

Really sorry to hear this Op. I used to run outdoors but stopped due to the abuse. I've had beer cans thrown at me, a naked man approach me (turned out he'd "escaped" from a mental health unit ), kerb crawlers and teenagers calling me a fat cunt. I run on a treadmill now. Bloody awful we can't just enjoy a run due to the knobheads!

I know that you shouldn't have to, but could you wear headphones without music to people think that you can't hear and so hopefully won't bother shouting?

This is absolutely horrible. Reflects so unbelievably badly on them - I'd be so ashamed to be related to these men.

Also they're obviously wrong. Some men just pick lazy tropes of ugly and fat to denigrate women.

I had someone wolf whistle me once whilst running, as I got closer, he looked me up and down and goes "oh, maybe not!" 🤣 I just laugh it off.

I'm doing something for me and my health. I don't know these people, so I don't care what they think of me.

Also, has anyone noticed that it's often the men giving abuse that are hardly Tom Hardy lookalikes?! They're all a bit overweight, a bit ugly and clearly don't look after themselves?!