Have your frienships and family relationships suffered as a result of Brexit?

[Wormzy]

Just that, really. If friends and/ or family members have clearly voted differently to you, has it changed the way you see them or interact with them? Have friendships broken down?

I haven't been able to vote, but the outcome of the vote affects me disproportionately. Family members have voted Leave. There have been arguments, also between friends, some ended in loss of contact.

I wonder how the Brexit vote has affected others on here?

I've not massively fallen out with anyone, but I have also lost some respect for people. It's not the having a different opinion to me, it's the amount of leave voters I personally know who can't give me any solid reasons for their vote.
That's my feelings.
I can accept difference of opinion between me and my relative who voted leave and was telling me about how they had reservations about TTIP and other such reasons. I disagree but that's life.

I struggle to accept another relative who seems to think they're claiming power back from unelected bureaucrats and were taking back control of our borders and immigration blah blah blah when they live in an area that is 95% white British and their grip is that some Eastern European workers have moved into the area (doing jobs that the British folk don't want to do). Add to that some misplaced belief that 'nobody can say anything about Muslims which seems to have come out in recent years and the whole brexit process has highlighted to me that for someone who claims to be liberal and tolerant, actually they hold views that are quite bigoted.

The problem is, when you do give a reason you are told that it isn’t good enough, which makes it all a bit tricky.

One mum at DD's school said to me she was in turmoil because she didn't know which way to vote, her parents were voting remain and her husband voting leave. I said to her "you just vote for what you think is right". She voted remain.

Don’t discuss it and couldn’t argue about what I voted coz I didn’t even vote

In laws voted leave despite being ex pats in Spain for several years. British money was being used to fix Spanish roads apparently .

Not really. Most people I know are remain. The one person I know who voted Leave was born in a fishing community and speaks very eloquently and respectfully about her reasons for her vote. She also treats remain views with a lot of respect, gives people a fair hearing and is pretty open minded.

What I would say is at the acquaintanceship level, people are a bit cagier. The debate has been so brutal in tone people are afraid to engage in political discussion in case things get heated.

That closing down of reasonable debate makes our political culture and civil society a lot poorer I think.

It’s a shame it’s caused divides. There are more valid reasons to end precious relationships than arguing over Europe!

Except it's not just 'arguing over Europe' is it. My husband and I may lose our home, our jobs, our pensions, our community, our right to healthcare, our childrens rights to education, and more. It's already damaged my mental health. I think putting everything I hold dear in jeopardy and not giving a shit is a pretty valid reason for ending relationships.

The problem is, when you do give a reason you are told that it isn’t good enough, which makes it all a bit tricky.

What is your good reason?

Well, you probably won’t agree my reasons were good

In short, I was/am critical of the EU - I didn’t want to become a region in an EU superstate.

That's good enough for me. What does an EU superstate look like? How will that affect your life? I'm always willing to learn.

If people want to lose their family because of opposite Political views, then it's a shame and it also says a lot about them.

I think you're missing the point there, Buffy. Why not read MyCatIsBonkers' posts. It isn't just 'an opposing political view'. Leave voters have voted for something that will have a catastophic impact on some people.

There were some big arguments in our office after the referendum and one colleague got quite shouty. I don't judge him on his opinion, but the way he expressed it shocked me, and that some other colleagues were ok with him doing that because they agreed with him.

Most of my family voted Leave, my PILs voted remain, BIL and SIL are very vocal leavers. I had to block them on Facebook because of all the EDL crap they kept sharing. I know everyone and it wasn't about racism, but all the leavers I spoke to cited "no more foreigners coming in as their main and sometimes only reason". I get it when you come from a poor area, finding jobs and housing scarce, and the finger is always pointing to the "other" in the community, I can see why people voted Brexit, but where I'm from most of the people I know who voted leave are pretty wealthy with second homes and able to take very early retirement mainly due to winning big on the property ladder. I think there is an element of distraction politics going.

I don't want to let this get in the way of friendships and family, because there is more to people than one aspect. If I'm honest it's my mum I have the biggest problem with, probably because I love her the most, also because she was quite socialist when she raised me and I picked up on her ideals, now she's completely abandoned them in favour of one policy. She voted Conservative last election because There was no ukip candidate and she thought the tories would deliver a hard Brexit. She loves Farrage and UKIP. I argued with her a lot at the referendum and I cried quite a bit. The really weird thing is it feels like a betrayal, which is probably bonkers and no doubt someone will tell me so on here, but w were very poor during my childhood and benefited from people who didn't judge us or treat us differently and policies like social housing which helped and now she wants those ideals scrapped so a child I was now would find life harder. I don't talk to my mum about politics anymore, it's a shame because we used to have long discussions into the night, now I feel like it's a no go area. Sorry to ramble, it's been good to get this off my chest. I can't really tell her.

And the problem is when posters give their 'good reasons' they so often aren't. People are losing, homes, jobs, possibly medicine, science research is being destroy and don't even mention Ireland and the reasoning isn't there.

You don't want to be a region in an EU superstate then vote for MEPs who oppose that. The same is true for many French, Italian and people from other EU states. The tide was turning away from further integration.

One way, the remain way, is full of boring lobbying, negotiating and discussions. The Brexit way, storming out, seems easier, clearer more simple and decisive but it leaves havoc in its wake.

On a set of political scales the potential benefits don't add up to what we lose. On an individual level some people will have their lives negatively effected in a serious way because the leave way seemed easier.

How I can I pretend to be friends with people who will vote in a way that will hurt others because the alternatives were a bit boring and long winded?

If people want to lose their family because of opposite Political views, then it's a shame and it also says a lot about them.
I haven't lost family because of opposite political views. We've had differing political views forever.

My feelings towards some family have shifted a bit because the whole thing brought some of their intolerance to the fore and I really struggle with people living in a 95% white British area telling me about how immigrants are taking over and Muslims are somehow untouchable. That's nothing to do with politics and everything to do with a distinct lack of tolerance from someone who likes to claim they are so open minded and tolerant.

Oh! So you didn't know that some of your family were racist bigots before the Referendum then MaisyPops?

buffy
I've always known they were pro immigration reforms and conservative learning. I've always known the relative felt that reform of benefits was needed so thay jobs went to those on JSA over bringing workers in.
They've also never expressed any issues with minorities either but have expressed reservations about treatment of women on some Islamic communities.

Nothing in any of that screams racist to me.

Then they moved into a much less diverse area around the town of the campaigning. And their views started shifting.

The stupid thing is they detest the EDL types, think they're a bunch of racist thugs etc and they'd never be anything other than perfectly polite and friendly to anyone. They've just bought into some inflammatory rhetoric and I didn't think they were that stupid or had that in them

Continuing a sort of theme that Moussemoose was hinting at, the UK seemed to be wanting a 'quick fix' of whatever seemed to be the issues. In the world of politics nothing is ever quick.
As a 'military' kind of example, you can rush into an area with your troops and make the 'opposition' stand up with their hands in the air. Great, you have 'stopped' the fighting. But how do you further this to get to a peaceful situation? You either keep feeding the troops and 'prisoners' indefinitely, or you sit down and talk through the issues.
Yes the EU has problems, any 'country' (can't think of a better word) with 28 regions with up to 28 languages spoken, with all the traditional regional differences WILL be a handful to manage, particularly as it is being done by discussion rather than by military force.
The EU has been slow off the mark with immigration and FOM issues, the relatively sudden arrival of ISIS and other terror organisations resulted in huge numbers fleeing war zones.
With the UK stamping it's feet and flouncing off will not improve matters in this direction and could conceivably make it worse.

Mmm! Right, I get it Maisypops!
It seems that they have made friends with new people in their area and are being badly influenced by them.
Brexit has certainly caused a lot of anxiety and unfortunately affected some people on their income and prospects but I personally don't know of any family rifts because of it.

Hence, my post!

There is obviously a 'failing' somewhere when 'UK' people on JSA say they cannot get work, and then 'migrant workers' from principally the Eastern EU countries can travel a thousand miles to pick fruit and veg. Even when 'corrupt practices' pay the Eastern workers relatively little.
Perhaps the UK Gov should have been sorting that out?

If my job dies with brexit, will i pick fruit? It would be bloody difficult because i have a child to look after and four elderly parents/inlaws to do my share with, not to mention all my friends etc. Also im 50. If i were broke, i would get more support from my local family and friends than from a gangmaster in Lincolnshire. The best bad option would be to pick up care work locally, rather than go for insecure seasonal labour a few hours away.

Some people on JSA can't get work because they're unemployable - too many problems, poor education, illiteracy, health issues, addiction issues etc. Some people on JSA don't want to get work. Some people don't want to get work but claim they can't get work. And in some areas of the country there is very little work, and people should be willing to move from these areas if that is what it takes. There should probably be a bit more help in making it possible for people to move if they need to.

I picked fruit once when I was young. It cost me more than I made and it was the worst job I ever had. I lasted one day.

My mum voted leave. Refuses to see any wrong in Brexit and considers Theresa May to be at the root of any issue. She thinks Boris Johnson is a good man. She loves Nigel Farage and won't hear a bad word against him.

She gets incredibly defensive any time the referendum is mentioned. And yesterday told us that she is so APPALLED at how public service staff have had no pay rises since 2008 that she didn't vote in the last general election. She voted Tory in the one before that as well as voting Leave. But not voting in the last general election seems to be her trump card (cannot explain how). She also voted for independence in the Scottish referendum but now says she will vote it again only if it's not the SNP leading the campaign and instead thinks the Torys would be better.

So. Go figure that out if you can.

I have lost a lot of respect for her over the last few years. She has shown her intolerant and bigoted side. There are other issues at play too, but this really hasn't helped.