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Brexit
Original poster

Have your frienships and family relationships suffered as a result of Brexit?

721 replies

Wormzy · 26/08/2018 10:03

Just that, really. If friends and/ or family members have clearly voted differently to you, has it changed the way you see them or interact with them? Have friendships broken down?

I haven't been able to vote, but the outcome of the vote affects me disproportionately. Family members have voted Leave. There have been arguments, also between friends, some ended in loss of contact.

I wonder how the Brexit vote has affected others on here?

OP posts:
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14
LynetteScavo · 27/08/2018 07:37

FIL and adult DN no longer speak - they are both very stubborn and think the other totally wrong. They were equally rude to each other about it.

Itchytights · 27/08/2018 07:38

Just wow at some of these posts.

ShockShockShock

bellinisurge · 27/08/2018 07:50

@DontMakeMeShushYou - I'm a prepper too. With silent judgy pants. Don't tell people in real life that you are preppers . Outside of your immediate family. Make it as fun as you can within your family, particularly with kids. But don't tell anyone else. And make sure they know not to tell.
Just sayin'.

Peregrina · 27/08/2018 07:52

It's going to be difficult to cluck sympathetically when the complaints start though - I will probably just change the subject. I won't join in the grumble fest and it won't be worth saying that this is what you voted for.

missmouse101 · 27/08/2018 08:07

I find it shocking that people have reacted negatively to a vote cast by friends and family. I NEVER tell anyone how I vote in any election etc. It's my private business and I wouldn't dream of letting it come between relationships.

RedNed · 27/08/2018 08:12

You find it shocking miss people are reacting negatively towards Brexit, really?

I voted remain but have now left the UK. I would be worried if we were still there, I can't believe it's September and there's still nothing.

bellinisurge · 27/08/2018 08:19

@missmouse101 - gotta say, I'm shocked you're shocked. This was a direct vote Ona single issue. Btw, completely agree about keeping it secret.

derxa · 27/08/2018 08:26

Another Brexit thread.

SharpLily · 27/08/2018 08:31

I don't take any issue with people having a different opinion to me but I began to take issue when I realised what some of their opinions were based upon. One cousin who I previously assumed was a normal human being was pretty vocal about voting leave. I felt that this was his right - until I discovered that his reason was because he felt there were too many Indians and Pakistanis in the UK Confused. Never mind the racism, I can't get over how stupid he is and will never see him the same way again.

On the other hand, I had some really interesting discussions with some other cousins whose automatic response was that they would vote leave, but when I asked them why and we started to talk around all the issues and look at the facts, they realised they were being manipulated (by both sides, no doubt) and ended up abstaining on the basis that they were no longer clear what they would be voting for. For me that was triumph - not that I got them to agree with me and vote like me, because I didn't and they didn't, but because they made an effort to understand and engage. I have a better relationship with them now than I did before.

bellinisurge · 27/08/2018 08:33

It's in the Brexit topic @derxa Hmm

Hazardswan · 27/08/2018 08:35

LOL @ your cousin sharplily sorry that's some errr interesting logic they have there Grin

Effendi · 27/08/2018 08:35

My Mum voted leave because of immigration and 'I don't like the EU telling us what to do'.

Then she moved to another country where we live, became an immigrant where the EU tell us what to do.

We can't talk about it without it getting heated so I try to avoid.
She is slowly starting to realise what a no deal will mean for us in reality.

VeryBerryAugust · 27/08/2018 08:41

Haven't read the thread but for our family, no.

We are mostly all old enough to remember life before the EU. The older family members lived through WW2. We have had a decade of life changing illness which puts a lot in perspective. Although one young member launched a nasty diatribe at their grandad who voted to leave the EU they are back on friendly terms.

Among my parents and siblings any problems come from being labour voters / former labour voters! But we got past that and I'm not bringing up that subject again!

They are allowed to vote their own way or what's the point? We may as well bundle up the family vote and hand it to the patriarch.

I don't discuss voting with friends generally.

MaisyPops · 27/08/2018 08:44

It hasn't ruined relationships, but I do find it's shown me a side of some relatives' opinions/views that I really, really don't like.

E.g. relative a voted leave and we had a really heated discussion, their arguments were mainly economic and it's we disagree but fine.
But another relative was all taking back our sovereignty, all these unelected people making EU laws, parliament never gets a say, look at the number of eastern European workers. I'm not being racist but we have to look after our own and stop hand outs. Etc. Then when there's any talk about a vote on what brexit looks like they get annoyed and talk about how all the MPs want to ignore the people's vote and any judicial review is a smear campaign. It's made me see that actually they hold some quite bigoted views and it's made other comments over the years make sense. That makes me feel sad as they're clearly not the tolerant person they claim to be.

continuallychargingmyphone · 27/08/2018 08:50

I don’t tell anybody I voted Leave. I didn’t expect Leave to win and so when it did the backlash was huge and I didn’t wish to cause any additional distress.

derxa · 27/08/2018 08:50

Apologies. Blush

Helmetbymidnight · 27/08/2018 08:52

I know several people who voted leave because of the Muslims- I didn’t like them anyway - the subject hasn’t come up since.

A friend who voted leave has now started liking my remainstuff on fb which I find irritating.

Dbro who voted leave recently lied and told me he didn’t vote.

Ddad who voted leave was cared for in this country by European care workers who he liked

  • they told me they didn’t know what was going to happen to them now - when I pointed this out to him he said ‘oh nothing will change’ and we left it there.
continuallychargingmyphone · 27/08/2018 08:53

Lol derxa Grin

derxa · 27/08/2018 08:53

We're all Remainers. But if someone wasn't I wouldn't fall out over it. We live in a democracy thank God. People should be getting annoyed with the politicians who orchestrated all of this shit. Believe me it won't affect them at all.

Helmetbymidnight · 27/08/2018 08:55

My Mum voted leave because of immigration and 'I don't like the EU telling us what to do'.
Then she moved to another country where we live, became an immigrant where the EU tell us what to do.

Gah! That drives me mad just reading it!

Helmetbymidnight · 27/08/2018 08:58

I know a family whose business relies on European trade. They begged their parents to vote remain but they refused because ‘Take back control’ They fell out for a good few months. They see each other again but I think it’s slightly strained. I don’t know why it wouldn’t be really.

bellinisurge · 27/08/2018 09:08

My late mum (in her 80s) was tempted by Leave - until we explained that one of her children would be directly and negatively affected. Her last ever vote was Remain.

lonelyplanetmum · 27/08/2018 09:14

One cousin who I previously assumed was a normal human being was pretty vocal about voting leave. I felt that this was his right - until I discovered that his reason was because he felt there were too many Indians and Pakistanis in the UK . Never mind the racism, I can't get over how stupid he is and will never see him the same way again.

I know several people who voted leave because of the Muslims

This was a factor for FIL too. He seems to be ok with Poles and Romanians as they work hard and are white. ( as long as they speak English).

I know this is all water under the bridge but I have wondered if for some people the word ' Leave' was interpreted as a vote for a giant almost sub conscious "Go home" van. ( Even though the 'forriners' it's directed at aren't foreign and are at home.)

Because UKIP and Farage annexed the actual word 'Leave' the referendum became not simply about relinquishing EU membership. It became an outlet for a hope that Leave may lead to change including asking anyone foreign looking to Leave. The word Leave sounds like an instruction.

If the term used had been the more accurate 'Relinquish' rather than the catchy 'Leave' the blurring of issues would not have been so easy.

Helmetbymidnight · 27/08/2018 09:16

They are allowed to vote their own way or what's the point

People are allowed to vote how they want Confused I’m allowed to form opinions on how people voted or how they justified their vote though, right?

Another thing I don’t get is the way some people say: we lived through ww2 to justify their (usually leave) vote. What is the point being made do you think?

VeryBerryAugust · 27/08/2018 09:27

Now you've misinterpreted/ overinterpreted Helmet.

It was to point out that they are not arguing over this due, in part, to a longish perspective on life and love.

The vote in my immediate family was not split on age lines. One family member said they felt that they would vote remain DUE to WW1 and 2. It was the In-laws where the one spat occured. The young person who had a go was way out of line on my opinion whatever way they voted. It's the behaviour not the vote that I judge.

Think what you like but the relentless stereotyping on Mumsnet and in the wider press is bad for everyone.

Did I truly read "stupid working class" earlier in this thread?! I'm not scrolling back I can't be bothered.

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