Have your frienships and family relationships suffered as a result of Brexit?

[Wormzy]

Just that, really. If friends and/ or family members have clearly voted differently to you, has it changed the way you see them or interact with them? Have friendships broken down?

I haven't been able to vote, but the outcome of the vote affects me disproportionately. Family members have voted Leave. There have been arguments, also between friends, some ended in loss of contact.

I wonder how the Brexit vote has affected others on here?

I can’t get cross with relatives who voted leave. They were duped. I save my fury for the stupid government who allowed a vote without a plan in place for both outcomes, went about executing it with the most extreme interpretation and which is proving to be an economic disaster.

I've not massively fallen out with anyone, but I have also lost some respect for people. It's not the having a different opinion to me, it's the amount of leave voters I personally know who can't give me any solid reasons for their vote. Not that they're obliged to, of course, but in their absence I'm not obliged to assume their reasons are considered and reasonable.

I've heard a lot of "we were fine before", which I am dubious about, and "the government won't let that happen" in response to any concerns about the actual Brexit. "It will be fine" doesnt fill me with confidence - a confidence I would love to be filled with!

I also dislike this reduction of disagreement with any part of the referendum to fundamentally disagreeing with democracy. I don't believe democracy is the same as mob rule - why bother voting and having MPs at all, then, if we can just vote on every decision - with the winner seemingly being that side with a better marketing campaign

I wondered what the references signified. So the idea is simply that many people who have lived a long time are too sensible to fall out over something so silly as trivial politics?

Yep.

I think to a certain extent it shouldn't be about who voted what at this point but 'have you read the technical notices and are you happy about it?'

(If the answer is havent read, then GO READ IT...can't stress that enough, independent and the mirror have okay breakdowns if you can't face reading the actual thing because it is long and waffly.)

But what do I know I'm a degreeless, working class and stupid yet a remainer.

Helmet it makes me cross too.
She's ok with the Polish though because they work hard.
You can't reason with Daily Mail readers.

Oh the irony that she and we are about to become 3rd country nationals in the EU country where we live. She has become exactly what she voted leave for, an immigrant and worse, in an EU country.

My husband applied for and received his Irish passport and just last week I applied for citizenship here.

So in future when we fly back here from our holidays in UK, husband and I can sail through the EU arrivals while she waits in the mile long queue for non EU arrivals. Karma.

Veryberryaugust, I see you’re someone who cant be bothered to read a thread before offering your super important opinions.
That’s the kind of behaviour I judge.

You sound helmet like you'd find an argument with your shadow.

I post on Mumsnet as a pleasant distraction not to help form a political head of steam for a new referendum or whatever is the aim for some posters here.

I'm not the only non politically partisan poster I'm sure. Or is this Momentum only no one is letting on?

Yes. My Dad and I had a fractured relationship anyway but he was basically a one man pressure group posting some really ignorant stuff on FB trying to convince people to vote "leave". He was gloaty and obnoxious when they won the referendum. It just made me really dislike him strenuously and then when he behaved unpleasantly to one of my children about something entirely unrelated I just didn't feel able to brush it under the carpet or move past it like I had for so many years previously. Haven't seen or spoken to him for almost two years now and as my Mum blindly takes his side no matter how unkind or unreasonable he's being, I am NC with her too.

I just think a basic read through is polite- why the rush to give an ill informed opinion?

Yes we are all momentum here.

I actually get on better with my dad - we’ve never shared political views but he voted the right way on this and is incandescent with rage about how it’s being handled. So we know we’re on the same page.

In the wider family (other than my BIL who is widely regarded as not having a clue what he’s talking about) it’s just one branch of cousins who are tbh pretty obnoxious anyway so if anything it’s proved a useful excuse for distancing ourselves from them.

The use of the word ‘explained’ has been used a lot on this thread.

Do leave voters ever ‘explain’ things to remainers?

Leave voters have explained loads of things to me because I'm a stupid, working class, remoaner.

My conclusions to leavers explanations were usually

• that's the governments job not the EU
• well that's just racist
• again governments job not the EU
• you seriously voted leave because your dad/partner said so? (SERIOUSLY two women i know did this)
• agreed some things in this country need serious change
• why is this person quoting farage at me?
• that's just racist
• yes the NHS does need more funding but how would leaving the eu help that?

Leavers tell us they have explained, but it's almost invariably soundbites. When e.g. asked which EU law didn't they like, no one has come up with anything, or if they do, it's a Westminster law anyway.

Yep, its caused significant rifts for me, but as others have stated in some cases it was the straw that broke the camel's..
My brother was always a wally, stole everything I had (money, clothes etc) for 10 years before I left home, then found every reason to not work, cause my parents endless worry etc.....so when he voted leave I struggled. But then when I said to my dad at the election that the Tories were going after the racist vote he butted in and shouted at me in front of my family ..."you lost, get over it" I was overtaken by anger and not only because I think he (and many like him) have taken away life opportunities from my kids, but because he has always been a self serving bar steward.....so i just will not ever bother with him again.
My MIL also voted leave, I suspect because she was a full time carer to an openly racist, hater of everything Daily Fail reader who has since passed, and she believed the extra £350million for the NHS. I genuinely think she was duped and she would vote remain now. Although I disagreed with her original vote, she isn't a shouty, radicalized brexiteers and I don't have a problem with her at all.
In a GE I have never voted the same as my wife but if I thought she was a racist handholder who sought to damage the country and our kids futures on the false premise of patriotism, the mug headline of taking back control or the absurd claims on the side of the big red bus I would ask myself why I married such a stupid person.

I get that people have the right to vote how they see fit. What I don't get is why they think they should then be exempt from any of the consequences of that vote. Yes, vote how you like, but own it. When other peoples' lives are thrown into turmoil because of your vote accept your part in it. Don't respond with anger and vitriol because you can't deal with their pain and distress being a result of your choice. That's what causes the rift more than the actual vote itself.

You think I would be happy your life was in turmoil because of how I voted? No. On the contrary I am sorry

Do leave voters ever ‘explain’ things to remainers?

Please do - I’m all ears.

Lonely planet mum - u drew a pie chart to explain brexit? I totally love you!

I haven't fallen out with any friends or relatives who voted Leave, why would i? i had a fair idea of their views before any vote lol! though some surprised me by voting to remain!

To blame leave voters is like blaming our armed forces for the Iraq war.

For me, any falling out is with the Tory party.

No, I would not fall out with friends and family over this. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and their vote. It’s ok to disagree sometimes.

I voted remain but I can see why people voted leave. There’s an argument for both sides.

It’s a shame it’s caused divides. There are more valid reasons to end precious relationships than arguing over Europe!

I have an underlying seething rage at my relatives who voted Leave. I worry I am going to explode at them at some point, especially as my FIL is a wind up merchant. They voted Leave for massively racist / xenophobic reasons and afterwards claimed it was for entirely different reasons. I have MIL's email to prove it. I was incredibly disappointed in my own parents as their reasons were due to Daily Mail poisoning and they did no other research and that is pretty hard to take.

I only have 2 friends who voted Leave and one was due to the NHS lie and the other is incredibly gullible and susceptible to con people anyway.

If there is a No Deal situation that impacts my children, I feel pretty sure I'm not going to be able to speak to any of them for a good while.

Honestly, this country is screwed for so many reasons due to Brexit. It's like Cameron got a massive syringe and injected a slow acting poison right into our veins. It will be decades and decades before we recover.

I get that people have the right to vote how they see fit. What I don't get is why they think they should then be exempt from any of the consequences of that vote

I think, writ large, this is the modern problem. It's also rather defining/illuminating, although I'm not sure what it tells us.

Historically, the only people that had access to the mechanisms of mass communication as "publishers" tended to be more on the educated/wealthy side of the tracks. Even the path to power - as an councillor or MP - was bound in with that landscape. So few people had the ability to have their words propated at length, and those that did generally understood that it was an implicit privilege and chose them carefully (because it was also a precious resource, and you wouldn't waste it).

Come the internet, and all of a sudden the world+dog has access to that machinery. And because it's cheap. Because it's easy, they have no reason to understand that their words have consequences.

The worst consequence being that expression of opinion has become not only inflammatory, but worthless. Even as recently as the 90s, it took some effort to get your opinions into print, which meant it had some import.

I don't know what the answer is though. Much as I love democracy, maybe the idea of abandoning net neutrality has some merit .

Maybe some sort of regulation/mechanism which limits people to 10 tweets a day ? I wonder what MN would look like if that regime existed. You can make 10 communications a day. Is that 10 to MN in one hit. 2 to MN, 2 to FB, 2 on Instagram, and save 4 for the random tweeting for CBB ????

I know how I'd implement it ...

There are more valid reasons to end precious relationships than arguing over Europe!

In one case I know of, the DH of an EU immigrant has voted leave. Now that was an interesting discussion. The relationship definitely suffered a lot as a result of the impact the vote has had on the immigrant wife.

Not really. My family voted leave and I voted remain, but I have virtually nothing to do with them anyway because they're abusive and stupid.

All my good friends voted remain, which I'm really pleased about. I work with few Brexiters who aren't my cup of tea anyway, before or since the referendum. Brexit has proven to me that I am a good judge of character.