Mistigri, the trouble is that Juncker etc went beyond the withdrawing of member benefits line and talked about punishment and punitive measure as a deterrent to others. That sounds more like the tactics of the mafia than the rules of a country club.
Even using your club analogy, no one is disputing that leaving involves losing benefits. Let's envisage this club. It is very expensive to be a member of and requires members to give up substantial amounts of their free time to volunteer. It also has exacting standards in terms of dress code etc. It is wonderful if you want it to be the centre of your social life and your only hobby, but for those who want an occasional affordable game of tennis, or whose children have grown up and had children of their own who live elsewhere, the terms and conditions are onerous. Those members have many friends at the club, but it doesn't make sense to be a paid up member any more. Should this mean they can't socialise with their friends outside the club by meeting them at the pub occasionally or coming to club open days? I don't think it should.
Similarly, being outside the EU doesn't make us an enemy of the EU. It won't prevent us from being able to go on holiday there, or apply for jobs there in the same way that non-EU nationals do at present. It won't stop EU citizens from coming here either. Many non-EU nationals emigrate here every year. The doors would still be open, with the terms set by the British government to meet the needs of the British economy.
What leaving will do is free us up to have independent trading arrangements with non-EU countries without having to get the deal ratified by 27 others first. This includes many Commonwealth countries that, as former British colonies, used to trade with us without tariffs. A lot of these countries have developing economies that would benefit from improved trading arrangements with the fifth largest economy in the world. Leaving the EU presents a really exciting opportunity to have a more global outlook.
What leaving will do is ensure that those making our laws are fully elected by the British electorate. And it will also ensure that legal decisions are made on the basis of UK common law and not on the basis of EU law. Our legal system is fundamentally different from the systems used on most of the rest of the EU ( with the exception of Ireland, Malta and Cyprus, who also use the common law system). EU law, like that in most EU countries is based on a civil code that is not bound by precedent. This difference disadvantages us when cases are taken to the European Court of Justice.
I respect your decision to vote to remain in the EU. I love Europe and I can see that the EU has done a lot of good, particularly in providing a route to prosperity for some of its newer members. However, I can also see that the EU is incapable of making the changes it needs to make if it is to survive the 21st century. I think both the EU and the UK will thrive best if they are friends but not bound together.