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Ethical dilemmas
Original poster

Watching 8 month old at wedding on baby monitor?

354 replies

SpudMama321 · 17/07/2025 11:46

Hi all. Looking for advice. We are due to attend a wedding this weekend and our babysitter has pulled out. We are staying in onsite accommodation, but in a different building to the wedding itself which is a 3-5 minute walk away. She usually goes down between 7-8pm and sleeps through.

My question is - do you think one of us needs to stay with her all evening. Or, assuming the WiFi works well, do you think we can watch her on the baby monitor (which is a ring camera with an app on our phone) and go back to the wedding? I just rang the venue to check on the WiFi situation and they said we can't put her to bed and go back to the wedding (her opinion is we shouldn't do this because it's not in the building itself, I think) but I'm not sure I necessarily agree if we have the ring camera and a constant live stream. A 3-5 minute walk is a 2 minute jog for my husband. I am so torn! Will I just get a gut instinct when we arrive whether it's okay or not?

OP posts:
MumOf4totstoteens · 17/07/2025 13:44

Groundhogday2025 · 17/07/2025 12:19

No. 1) far, far too young 2) far, far too far away.
A locked hotel room in the same building at least you could argue is not too far from them being asleep upstairs whilst you’re down in the living room in the evening at home.
Also the fact it’s a wedding with presumably a DJ or live music. Are you going to be able to hear the monitor in that environment? If you were just having dinner just the two of you in the hotel restaurant whilst the baby was in a locked room within 60 secs of you, plenty of people on here would still have a problem with this, but that would be more acceptable to me.
A whole different building so you can get jolly at a wedding is too far IMO.
It costs money, but can’t you hire a wedding babysitter? There are agencies who offer this exact service. Otherwise I’d say that you just need to accept that missing out on all the freedoms a childless person has is part and parcel of being a parent.

I’m flabbergasted that people leave their kids in a hotel room to go for a meal. That’s child neglect and cruelty. Shouldn’t have kids.

Scottishgirl85 · 17/07/2025 13:44

Wtaf, you cannot do that!! My children went to plenty weddings as babies. They sleep in the buggy at the reception.

BabyEatsEverything · 17/07/2025 13:45

WTAF

SErunner · 17/07/2025 13:45

No, I wouldn’t do this. Same scenario we’ve just put her to sleep in the buggy and accepted a bit of an upset to the routine that night.

Denimrules · 17/07/2025 13:45

hexagongoldbox · 17/07/2025 11:52

Really don’t see the problem with you keeping her with you and letting her sleep in her pram (or not) it’s only one night it will be fine

This what I would do.

MumOf4totstoteens · 17/07/2025 13:46

maudelovesharold · 17/07/2025 12:45

I can just imagine the DM story -

‘Police were called as wedding guests kicked off, after being told by staff they were not allowed to leave their baby alone in room, while they partied in another building.’

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That and surely they would feel a duty of care to contact social seevices. I know I would.

Farageisacupidstunt · 17/07/2025 13:46

I'm finding it hard to believe that this post isn't your idea of some sick joke but, assuming it isn't, I really hope that the person you spoke to at the hotel has already reported you to social services for even suggesting this. It's difficult to imagine anything more moronic.

DiscoBeat · 17/07/2025 13:46

You're seriously asking this??

Anxioustealady · 17/07/2025 13:46

MumOf4totstoteens · 17/07/2025 13:44

I’m flabbergasted that people leave their kids in a hotel room to go for a meal. That’s child neglect and cruelty. Shouldn’t have kids.

Show quote history

I'm 30 and I was left in a hotel room while my parents had dinner downstairs. I wouldn't do it personally but people definitely did it!

emmy4 · 17/07/2025 13:46

I can't believe this is a serious question!

Gigglydancybox · 17/07/2025 13:47

This has to be joke, right?

what if she climbs out the cot and falls, what if there’s a fire, what if she chokes? There are a whole load of tragic circumstances that could happen. Take her pram or buggy and let her sleep in that and be responsible parents.

Autismnonfunctional · 17/07/2025 13:47

NO.

MidnightPatrol · 17/07/2025 13:47

I would do it in the same building, but not a different building.

Can you swap rooms with someone in the main building?

Sgreenpy · 17/07/2025 13:47

Have your child sleep in their pram, take turns sitting with the baby, get other relatives to tag team you in sitting with the baby or hire a professional babysitter/nanny/childminder for the evening to come to the hotel (accommodation) and assist you. I'm assuming the hotel does not offer a baby listening service.
Do not leave your child in another building.

Mamabear487 · 17/07/2025 13:49

Absolutely not. Take the baby with you a white noise machine and the pram for them to sleep.

Sgreenpy · 17/07/2025 13:49

Anxioustealady · 17/07/2025 13:46

I'm 30 and I was left in a hotel room while my parents had dinner downstairs. I wouldn't do it personally but people definitely did it!

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Lots of hotels offer (or used to offer) baby listening services.

Kittyloulou · 17/07/2025 13:49

This question has got to be a wind up. I don’t believe a parent would contemplate this.

Richiewoo · 17/07/2025 13:50

Absolutely not dont be so irresponsible. Leave baby in the buggy next to you.

MangaMoo · 17/07/2025 13:50

Not sure you need any more “No chance” votes to know that this is a bad idea as all the previous posts should be enough, but just in case this is my “Absolutely no chance should you do this”. So very unsafe and unwise for so many reasons.

Moveoverdarlin · 17/07/2025 13:50

You’re torn?? Really? Rule one of parenting is you have to actually look after the baby at all times.

Babies ruin your social life and babysitters drop out all the time. It’s going to be like this for the next 15 years for you. Get used to it. Your life has to change. You miss out on fun stuff.

A decent Mum and Dad would take it in turns to sit with the baby.

Zellycat · 17/07/2025 13:51

SpudMama321 · 17/07/2025 11:46

Hi all. Looking for advice. We are due to attend a wedding this weekend and our babysitter has pulled out. We are staying in onsite accommodation, but in a different building to the wedding itself which is a 3-5 minute walk away. She usually goes down between 7-8pm and sleeps through.

My question is - do you think one of us needs to stay with her all evening. Or, assuming the WiFi works well, do you think we can watch her on the baby monitor (which is a ring camera with an app on our phone) and go back to the wedding? I just rang the venue to check on the WiFi situation and they said we can't put her to bed and go back to the wedding (her opinion is we shouldn't do this because it's not in the building itself, I think) but I'm not sure I necessarily agree if we have the ring camera and a constant live stream. A 3-5 minute walk is a 2 minute jog for my husband. I am so torn! Will I just get a gut instinct when we arrive whether it's okay or not?

One of you needs to be there at all times. Swap 1 hour each & swap back. Or bring sleeping babe in buggy.

Never leave unattended - against human nature and LAW in most countries.

The 5 minutes crying ….. someone will call reception and you will have the police at your door breaking it in.

There’s that ex-cop Brit who did this in America & lost her child temporarily …. She was staying in a “hotel” - no children allowed in kitchen & left her kid in lobby while making a meal & people called police.

Don’t do it.

Parryotter · 17/07/2025 13:51

Surely this is a joke post?! If not then NO you cannot leave an 8 month old in another building while you party!

MidnightPatrol · 17/07/2025 13:52

MumOf4totstoteens · 17/07/2025 13:44

I’m flabbergasted that people leave their kids in a hotel room to go for a meal. That’s child neglect and cruelty. Shouldn’t have kids.

Show quote history

Why is it child neglect and cruelty?

I appreciate not everyone might feel comfortable doing it - but if the child is warm, comfortable, asleep, in a safe place, parents downstairs, baby monitor on so parent can see and hear them…?

ChampagneLassie · 17/07/2025 13:52

Oh I posted previously looking for WiFi monitors to use within a hotel where room was less than 2 min walk and many posters pointed out all the potential hazards. I hired a sitter. Get on childcare.co.uk ,id be amazed if you can’t find a sitter. You might have to pay more if it’s rural but it’s that or miss out. Do not leave baby alone at that distance.

Itallcomesdowntothis · 17/07/2025 13:52

You are torn!?!?! Torn?!?!

Have you lost your mind?