42 year old male pursuing 19 year old female

[Engagebrain]

A 42 year old male friend of my hubby is pursuing a 19 year old woman. He's single and so is she but it's really turning my stomach to think he's old enough to be her father and I now see him as a bit of a creep. Am I overreacting? My own daughter is 20 and she thinks he's a creep. I don't want him visiting us anymore but my husband is laughing about it. How do you guys feel about this? Thanks!

I understand what you're saying, but I'm 44 and have a 25 yo so it's just pure ick for me.

If he is not in a position of power or influence over her i’d find this a bit pathetic but probably not worse than that. She’s 19, she’s not a child.

OT but she looks like a teenage Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Totally @Berga me too. But I wouldn't assume mal-intent the same way I would with a 19 yo.

Omg yes she looks just like him

100% creepy bastard!

Maybe the difference between a teen and 20 something.
Think of the things that have been said about a then 40 something prince and a teen?
MN is fairly consistent with teens are out of bounds for much older men

They message each other online, he showed some messages to my husband and there's so much sexual innuendo from her

It sounds as though it is very much a 2 way thing then, not him pursuing her, more the other way round.
You really need to MYOB

Big time creep! Do not let this weirdo anywhere near your home or your daughter. Tell your husband who finds this extremely unsettling situation funny that he can get out too and see how funny it all is then. Makes me uncomfortable knowing your husband was laughing about this instead of going into protective, stern father mode.

He's not in a position of trust over her but he is a school teacher, I didn't mention that in my original post.

Why does your 20 year old think he’s a creep? Does she have a specific experience?

There is nothing 'normal' or 'ok' about a 42 yr old man chasing a teenager. He knows exactly what he is doing 🤢

When I was 19 I had a thing with a guy, who was probably a similar age to this man. He wouldn’t tell me his age. I didn’t feel exploited tbh but I had no power, no say when I saw him and it wasn’t often. I’m pretty sure now he was also married / living with a woman probably more his own age as he wasn’t available much and he never took me away anywhere beyond out for a meal. Anything more would have shown on the credit card I suppose. I was just a kid. She’s just a kid. It’s not nice. I am 53 now and I looked him up on X a few years ago. He was a little old balding man with grey hair and looked well into his 70s. In essence she’s too young.

shudder

he is a school teacher

Hiding in plain sight these men.

My son is 32 and there's no way he'd date or pursue a 19 year old, he think of her as little more than a child. He had a young lady chat and flirt with him on a night out some time back, she knew him but he couldn't figure out who she was, eventually he realised she was the much younger sister of an old friend, ds had been living away for years so really didn't recognise her, he was horrified by her flirting with him and actually left the pub to get away, he felt like a dirty old man and was still uncomfortable when telling me about it the next day. Your husband needs to cop on and keep his distance from his lecherous friend, instead he should consider it could be his daughter the prick is texting (and he's not even gentlemanly enough to keep those to himself). Thankfully your daughter appears to have better instincts than her father.

25 is very different to 19. Any 30+ year old going after a 19 year old is creepy, a 40+ is creepy as fuck. If the guy had been 19 I'd absolutely saying the same. There's a world of difference developmentally between 19 and 25.

I think this does make it quite a lot worse tbh.

You'd leave your partner for this? Wouldn't it just be easier to tell him why you're not happy/ask him not to do it again?

Leave the house @Azertyuio123

Even I'm not that quick to LTB.

Initially, I couldn’t see how it could be a honey trap as what he is doing isn’t illegal but obviously distasteful to a lot of people. Having read he is a school teacher, would the honey trap be for collecting evidence to embarrass him at the school? Would the school take action against a teacher pursuing a woman so much younger than him?

Speculating about two consenting adults relationship on an anonymous online forum is creepier to be honest.

OP can you clarify what you mean by 'pursuing' ?? If she is sending him sexy chat, what makes you think it's not her chasing him?