Friend from the past asked if she could stay with us for 6 months

[RollyPol]

An old friend (were out of touch for 16 years, shared accommodation in student days in London) who is a locum biomed scientist got an offer to work for 6 months in a hospital near to mine. She asked if there is a room she can stay in whilst working there. She did not say anything about paying for the room, but I don't want a lodger anyway, I just want peace and quiet with my dc and dh. They don't know her and I don't think they want a stranger in the house. What do I say to her? I don't think I want anyone who is not a family member with me for 6 months either.

Granny stays every school holiday, other granny visits too, the room isn’t available.

Don’t offer a night or two in case it extends into weeks.

She asked and you politely say that it wouldn’t work for you- and suggest spareroom, etc.

As PP’s have said, be wary of offering a couple of nights, because it may be difficult to get her to leave!

After losing touch for 16 years?!! She's a user
You have nothing to do with her usually so I don't understand why this is a dilemma.
Just because she knows you have a spare room, you likely have it for workspace and guests
" No, we don't have a spare room" but suggest she tries spare room.com
There's probably a board in the hospital advertising accommodation

@RollyPol "Do you have a room in your house I can stay in?"

As other have said the answer to this is "no , I don't I'm afraid. "

The reasons are irrelevant to her

I'd say "I'm sorry but that's won't work for us. I look forward to a catch up when you are here though. "

You say, "I'm sorry, but that doesn't work for my family." Good luck in your new position.

You don't have to say you don't have a spare room. All you have to say is this doesn't work for your family. Done deal.

Nope. Absolutely not.

She's an adult, has a job and will find alternative accommodation. You are in no way responsible for her.

You can be truthful: "Great news about the job. Sorry, it's not going to work for us to have an extra person here. Hope you find something that suits."

She probably asked because it is amost zero effort compared to looking for another place, and she has nothing to lose. She is likely expecting this answer anyway.

Sorry stranger of 16 years but definitely no !

You do not have to explain yourself at all just say no it would not work for you and your busy family life. Tell her when she gets settled you must catch up for a coffee and congrats on new job. Cheek of her haven't seen her in years. It would put a huge strain on your family life, don't do it. Just a no is enough it does not work for our family.

Just say no

I wouldn’t even entertain the idea of this. No.

Just say No. Do you think she was feeling you out last time by finding out you have a spare room? I wouldn’t offer a night or two as it becomes difficult to get them to leave after onward accommodation “falls through”

Suggest she asks about hospital accommodation.

But your spare room most probably, like mine, is often used for family visits. So it's not available for a lodger.
Just say no. It's quite reasonable. You don't know much about her given it's been 16 years. She may be a nightmare to live with. You.have a DS to consider.
Just say "sorry no, we need the spare room for family visits. I'll ask around for you"

Just say no and don’t let it become a big deal.

If you've been out of touch for sixteen years I fail to see how she is a friend

CF to the highest degree

Tell her to do one

How on earth is this an 'ethical dilemma' or even a dilemma of any kind. She has asked if you have a room for her to stay in and you don't want her to stay so you reply 'No, sorry'. Why is that a problem?

If you fancy you can explain and if you want you could offer alternative options.

Lots of people rent out rooms in their home. She wasn't rude to ask.

I wouldn't say anything above and beyond, "No we don't, sorry. Hope you get sorted." If she pushes back and says, but you do have a spare room, I wouldn't even answer.

I mean, are you going to miss her if she stops speaking to you in a sulk when you managed for 16 years without seeing her?

Just say no. What's the issue?

As Stacey Solomon says, "there should be no such thing as a spare room. Every room should have a purpose".

Not that you need an excuse, it's fine to say "sorry, we're not looking for a lodger at the moment" but if it makes it easier turn the room into a playroom/study/walk in wardrobe.

Honestly I wouldn't have someone stay for a month let alone 6! I can't believe she asked given that you're not even close friends now. Send her the link to www.spareroom.co.uk

It is weird some people don’t realise how rude this sort of request is.
I noticed on Linked In that a friend from Uni had got a job in Bermuda and mentioned it to another friend who said (seriously) great - now you can go and stay with them for holidays, even though we haven’t seen each other for almost 15 years…. I’d never do that, but she couldn’t see why I wouldn’t…

The OP and the old friend must have been in touch at some point as the OP had told her she had a spare room.

So it's not like they haven't spoken at all for 16 years.

You might have a spare bedroom that you use for storage but you don't have a spare bathroom, spare kitchen, spare sitting room all of which she would want to use.