Cockroach cafe - summer

[GnomeDePlume]

A new thread.

This is a place where anyone dealing with elderly parents/relatives/friends can rant, vent, scream into the void.

There is no judgement just understanding, support and good advice.

Yes, unfortunately I have had these threats in the past from a dumped boyfriend and it was an attempt to control, like this is. DB has just been away for 3 weeks and is off for a few more weeks (teacher) so we had already agreed (he didn’t volunteer, I requested) that I’d take some time out when he got back but in general it is me that does most of the work because he sits back and lets me and there have been words had in the past (also he has no DCs, I have two ND DC still at home).

I'm sorry others are going through this, it's really bloody hard. She's been texting away at me all day despite me saying (by text) this morning please address DB for everything for the time being.

Oh yes, the dying thing. "Just leave me, I don't need anything from you, I'll just die all alone here and never bother you again." I sigh, say "let's see how that goes" and put down the phone generally.

I do hope to die myself before it all gets too uncomfortable and tedious (way in the future hopefully), but I'm not going to announce to to family because they might try and stop me. So I think so long as she is talking about it there is no intention for it actually happen.

We haven't had that one yet, we have strategic incompetence and creating a crisis to get attention.

DF phoned the other night because he said he couldn't get into his bed, he had pressed the wrong button and the legs had elevated, DH offered to fix it at that point, but that he would have to leave straight away because we hadn't eaten dinner yet, he said no. I walked him through it he stated it was fixed then at midnight he started calling again, woke me up saying it wasn't right and if we didn't go and fix it he would have to sleep on the sofa. This is the same man that can use the buttons on his TV remote and his phone and that DH found up a step-ladder trying to close a window the other day.

What he wanted was DH to go up and put him to bed and tuck him in like he is a child. We didn't go, I had work at 7am and he was fine. I have less sympathy for him now, at first I truly believed he wasn't able, but we have seen evidence of his ability to do more than he says he can and yesterday he demanded a key to the garage outside so he can go in there. This is a man who normally says he needs a wheelchair just to leave the house rather than walk a short distance to a taxi outside.

DH was looking at his diary from last year for some reason last night. In October he had written about worrying about his parents. having to go and see them three times in a month to sort out emergencies and his DM keeping changing her mind about his DF going into a home due to his dementia. Guess where we are now? Yes, nothing has changed...