Cockroach cafe - Spring to Summer 2026

[FiniteSagacity]

New thread for us all to gather and have tea, cake and something from the stronger shelf as needed.

Keeping the cockroach name in honour of those who have graduated the thread in spite of the suggested thread names!

It reminds me a lot of lockdown which I also found very depressing. It got to the point where it seemed pointless to book, plan or look forward to anything as it was so likely to end up cancelled.

My one main consolation is that the stress and strain of the past year ( which I know is nothing compared to most on here) means I hopefully won’t linger on for years.

At least they are in the care home now. If this had happened when they were at home, or even if I had got a full time live in carer, then we would have had to go up there and sort it out.

We are going to Northern Spain so if something genuinely urgent does happen, there are 3 airports I can easily reach.

Good luck to anyone with upcoming holidays

@rookiemere I know exactly what you mean about planning holidays.

Over the last two years, Mr Monkey have been away hardly ever. I LOVE travel. It’s being on tenterhooks about Mummy Monkey plus lots of illness for Mr Monkey and bereavement. If we have been away, it’s short breaks and taking my mum as I’m sure as she gets more infirm, holidays won’t be on the agenda. It’s so depressing.

We’re away in Berlin next week Weds - Sun. I’m going to switch off and any emergencies need to be dealt with by my brother in the UK. In Berlin, we’re meeting my cousins who’ve flown into a Berlin from the US and supposed to be meeting Corporate Golden Boy and his family. I’m not sure I can stomach seeing him. I’ve let my cousins know. I’m not asking them to take sides, but they both understand. I’m exhausted by it all, I’m feeling really ill with a nasty cold and my mental health is in the toilet.

Re holidays, we go often but I’ve changed the way I have been booking. I’m booking the hotel/apartment with the right to cancel up to 48 hours before and doing this several months in advance. I’m waiting til 4/6 weeks before to book cheap flights and been getting some right bargains leaving it this late. It does help that I look across all the airlines and 4 different airports. If I do Ryanair I’m not adding luggage or sitting together until the day before the holiday to bring the price right down. So for my upcoming holiday I can cancel up to 48 hours before and only lose 190, useful considering there wouldn’t be any cover on travel insurance for a known potential event. Obviously if there was a major issue in the last 48 hours I wouldn’t travel but I’m finding this way of booking is allowing us to continue with normal life with the flexibility to be around if needed.
As my husband rightly said last September when we had the first ‘should we travel or not’, “your DF could still be around in two years time”. We have been 3 times since then and so glad I haven’t put life on total hold

I do the same, I only book hotels that can be cancelled and pay a bit extra for flights that can be moved if not refunded. I had a terrible run in with travel insurance years ago after I had an accident abroad so I never quite trust the companies as they did everything they could to get out of paying up, were absolutely useless, repeatedly got information wrong etc etc.
EVERY single time we’ve been in the last 3 years I’ve had a phone call about DM. She fell and broke a vertebrae once, mixed up her tablets another time.

However we want to do a big long haul trip soon, we can’t keep putting our life on hold. I do get resentful as at my age DPs were travelling all over the world without a backward glance.

@ManchesterMonkey enjoy Berlin, it's one of my favourite cities.

Loving all the holiday tips! It will be strange this year when we go away with DCs as I too always had something happen with our Dad when we went on holiday. Our last long haul he got Covid and I was in a different time zone. We’ve only ever been to Europe since then. On one memorable trip, I got a massive telling off from our Dad because he had a very late notice hospital appointment and I ‘let him down’ because I wasn’t able to take him. Obviously I had taken him to so many appointments it was just assumed I was always there ready to drop everything at a moment’s notice.

We also often go on holiday to the same place as DFIL (although we travel separately) so holidays have still been about everyone else having a good time, I am getting better at having the holiday that I want to have.

Thinking of @Choux and glad your weekend was with people who deeply understand your situation and you got to have some time away 💐

I made it - yay ! Must be down to everyone’s good wishes. Phone hasn’t rung yet, DH made it clear to the care home we were only to be disturbed for serious emergencies.

I think back to last year when I almost cancelled a weeks holiday because I was fairly certain DM didn’t have long to go, and here we are a year later and I realise this scenario could go on for a lot longer or indeed end tomorrow, honestly who knows. I don’t have any siblings, even useless ones, so I have nobody who should step up when we go (even if they don’t actually).I was so full of emotions then, now I feel an odd sort of detachment most of the time.

I have gone into holiday booking hyper drive in reaction to the situation- not helped by DH now being retired and looking for things to do - and almost booked too many on the assumption that if we need to cancel any then at least there is something else to look forward to. I also book most things cancellable and use BA companion vouchers so we haven’t actually paid anything for the flights. I was going to say it’s amazing how there is usually a medical drama when we plan something nice or to go away, but then theres usually a medical drama involving one or other DP on about a weekly to fortnightly basis.

Yay @rookiemere - have a lovely break!

Glad lots of people are working out how to get away and actually getting there. Have a lovely break @rookiemere

My mum passed away yesterday. From the first call to indicate the care home were worried about her to death was just under 72 hours and very peaceful. Sadly my brother arrived at the care home 90 minutes too late. I had to call and tell him at baggage reclaim that it was too late. But he saw her afterwards to say his goodbyes and he was grateful for that.

I am still away (I brought my flight forward and then today pushed it back a day again) and going home tomorrow to start dealing with the admin. My friends here have been wonderful and it’s a really tranquil place full of natural beauty to reflect on my loss.

@Choux condolences.

I'm sorry to hear your news @Choux

I’m sorry @Choux. I’m glad your DB is there for you.

@Choux I’m sorry to hear your sad news. 💐

Condolences @Choux

I’m so sorry @Choux, glad you have support for now 💐 We’ll be here when you need us.

Condolences @Choux , sorry for your loss.

@Choux wishing you peace now and strength for the next days.

Visited DM yesterday. She has declined further in the week. She didnt even acknowledge DB when he arrived. Basically semi awake or fitful sleep and in constant quiet distress.

I spoke with DB and said quite firmly that DM now needs some sort of medication to ease this distress and he did not disagree. He has said he will speak with the nurse, I know he doesnt want to so I will volunteer to phone her later today. This way he just has to agree with me rather than take the initiative.

@GnomeDePlume sometimes managing family just adds to the tasks. I hope the medication helps your mum be more peaceful.

Condolences Choux.

Sorry for your loss @Choux , I hope that it being peaceful is a crumb of comfort for you and your DB.

@Choux so sorry to hear this @GnomeDePlume i hope you get the medication plan under way

Sorry to hear your news @Choux.