How old was your dad when he died?

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I posted earlier but didn’t get any responses, my wonderful dad is 81 and I’m starting to think and wrap my head around the fact he’s not got very long left given he has heart disease and seems to be declining.

My colleague said she thought this wasn’t that old, whereas I thought anything above 80 was.

How old was your DF when he died?

85, he died of cancer, but had been very fit until about 83.

74. He had a longstanding illness but died unexpectedly of something completely unrelated.

My dad was 44. Too young.

My dad died at 62 of a burst iorta.

Suddenly, two weeks before his 90th birthday.

My Dad was early 80s. He had some underlying health issues and my parents made their lives incredibly small for the last 5+ years (basically since Covid) to avoid doing anything that might exacerbate his illness and putting off things they wanted to do as they were hoping that being so careful would mean one day his health would improve. For the last few years when Dad would actually have been fit enough to do some fun things they barely left the house and spent a lot of time complaining about other people 'acting irresponsibly' (eg friends of a similar age going to the theatre, going overseas on holiday, 'wasting money' eating in nice restaurants' etc). My advice would be to encourage your Dad to make the most of now and do things he loves even if that means he needs a few days to rest afterwards, or taking a slight risk.

75 - out of the blue, just dropped dead in the street.

92

68, much too young.

My granddads were late 50s and 88. Their wives were 84 and 78 respectively. My mum was 73 when she died, my dad still going strong at 76.

My mil is desperately ill and recieving eol care at 76, fil fit as a fiddle at 81.

Old nowadays is very different to old when I was a kid - I always always thought my grandparents were very elderly but nowadays my parents and in-laws have such a zest for life and have been living it.

At 81 life expectancy for a man in the UK is 89. That means 50 % of 81 year old men will live to 89 or older. Your Dad has had a long and hopefully happy life.

We all have to die at some point. There's no point worrying about it because you can't change it. Dad died at 71 after a few years of ill heath due to cancer. It does mean I remember him as a fit and healthy man in his 60s rather than how I remember FIL who died at 84 after a long decline.

My dad was a very fit and active man. Died just after his 90th birthday. He was only in hospital for about a fortnight. My mum, who was much younger than him anyway died at 69 from ovarian cancer. I think dad lost the will to live after my mum died - she had looked after him so well. When he was in hospital I was constantly mistaken for his granddaughter!!!

I was thinking of him today, coincidentally, during the two minutes silence - he served in the Merchant Navy during the Second World War and was on the Atlantic Convoys to Russia.

65 went to the shop and never made it home had a heart attack in the street this was 3 years ago and i think about it everyday x

56 from heart failure, he had a quadruple bypass 7 years earlier but it wasn’t enough.

He was 95.

He was definitely old, but what age 'old' is depends on your family history to an extent, though, I think.

Very few people in my family have died before 90. My great uncle was 89 and was considered 'young' in comparison to his siblings who were all into their 90s when they died.

I think on a personal level it's relative to your own familial experiences what you consider old, rather than what national averages suggest.

35 - murdered - awful time

No underlying health conditions, just keeled over from a heart attack one day.
Was still active, going up to the shops every day etc.

92, earlier this year

98, diagnosed with prostate cancer 35 years earlier, it eventually spread to his back 2 months before he died.

74 unexpected heart attack. He was fit and active and doing several hours teaching/practicing his sport per week.

I miss him so much, every day.

The only tiny consolation is that it was instant, and he was fine until he wasn’t. He had no slow decline. He had ants in his pants and couldn’t sit still for 5 minutes. He was also busy and doing something. He would have hated to get infirm, frail and lose his quality of life. I just wish I’d had a chance to say goodbye and tell him how amazing he was and how much I love him.

He was 64. He had a catastrophic stroke.

70 - super healthy until pancreatic cancer diagnosis. Died within a couple of months. He'd only just fully retired and never got to do all his travel plans.

Not answering your question, but I wanted to join in, as my father is also 81 and still alive.

My father is in reasonable health. He has had a melanoma (isolated and treated) plus a hip operation but is otherwise fine. Reasonably active (walks) and eats well. My mother is younger and they still go on long-haul holidays. He started to seem old a couple of years ago. I don't think he will make 90 and I am not sure I would want him to unless his quality of life remains the same. He is not the kind of person who would cope well with being ill, immobile, or generally cared for.

I don't think 80 is "old old" nowadays but it can be. There are such healthy and active 80-year olds around but these will be generally be those who are lucky or have had a easier / more privileged life.

My Dad was 69 and FIL was 72. Both due to NHS negligence!

85, a week after his birthday. He said he didn't want to be 85, and killed himself. Was a horrible shock when the Police came to tell me he'd been found dead.