Cockroach cafe Winter 2025

[GnomeDePlume]

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/elderly_parents/5360173-cockroach-cafe-summer-2026?page=39&reply=147870717

Here we go. I think we are going to need this

@Dormit I'd focus on the children. They need you far more than your mother does. I know it's hard to spread yourself so thin, but you must prioritise the youngsters.

@countrygirl99 , @Dormit , @Choconuttolata Hell's teeth you are all being put through the mill at the moment.

Flowers, cake, wine or a warm dark corner to hide in. All available if only virtually.

@countrygirl99I am so sorry that sounds so frightening and awful poor DH and you.
@Dormitplease take care of yourself as best you can.

At the hospital and he's much more rational now but can't remember a thing. Having a whole raft of tests as his blood sugar improved a lot without anything to eat or drink and taking his usual insulin dose after locking out the paramedics.

Glad you are at the hospital now getting him checked over. Does he have a Libre? Does sound strange like the pump sensor readings/delivery might be off. At least now he is there they can check manually and then change over the pump/sensor if they are malfunctioning.

Thinking of you @countrygirl99 that sounds tough, hope your DH recovers fast.

@countrygirl99 yikes! Hope he's feeling better and behaving a bit better.

Got the all clear to go home. He has now admitted he isn't testing every day so I've told him he must at least twice a day from now on.
I'm in Finland seeing DS2 this weekend - isn't it meant to be elderly parents do this sort of thing just before you go away. At least that's back on I didn't think I'd be going. I've told him if he doesn't text me 7am every morning I'm getting the terrifying lady next door to check up on him.

Very glad your DH is ok @countrygirl99 and that you trip is back on.

Maybe it’s me but if I found that my DH had contributed to his own hospital admission by ambulance by not following the proper regimen for a medical condition I'd be steaming, once the relief had worn off.

@funnelfan we actually had an argument last night because there's been 3 things over the last couple of weeks which made me worry about dementia. I now suspect that they were milder episodes of low blood sugar. I think today has scared him enough to be a bit more sensible. I think it's been a case of familiarity and a usually stable condition breeding a blasé attitude.

Well I hope A&E gave him a talking to @countrygirl99. He needs to take more responsibility for his own health, it isn't all on you to remind him.

Allergy clinic gave DH a talking to when he went to his patch testing appointment recently without taking the foods with him for the testing and as he couldn't tell them how to use his epipens made him do it with them until he could show them how to do it properly. I have to keep reminding him to take his epipens everywhere with him 🤦

@countrygirl99 that sounds incredibly stressful. I hope he’s on the mend soon.

mum is in A&E again. She phoned me in a state saying she felt unwell. The GP came out and ambulanced her to A&E. They think it’s the as normal heart rhythm that’s causing her to feel unwell.
I did have a lovely time with my eldest though so some positives from today.

Oh dear Dormit. Is it atrial fibrillation? DF had that and felt awful, but the medication they started him on has helped. I hope that they can get things sorted for her so that she can feel better.

I am glad you got to have some time with your eldest in amongst everything, it sounds like she needs her Mum right now.

It’s atrial flutter. She was feeling sick and sweaty and I was worried she might be having a heart attack but thankfully not. They are putting her on digoxin to get her rate down and hopefully start the anticoagulants too that she should have started at home today.
DD and I had a great time and she’s very positive about seeing more of me so that’s great.

Yeah my DF is on anticoagulants as well, he bruises so easily now. It is a time critical medication so make sure that if the carers are helping her with medication that they know to make sure they give them at the set times so that they have continued effect throughout the day to prevent blood clots. Also make sure your Mum carries something on her like a card in her purse that says she is on them just in case she falls and hits her head or has an accident/injury and it won't stop bleeding.

My mum has been transferred to cardiology which isn’t reassuring. I’m in my way to see her now. Ages just phoned to say she might still be able to go home today. She sounds fine which is good and her heart is behaving according to the monitor. Still very worrying. I woke up 3 times last night with nightmares. Fun times.

Will they fit a pacemaker @Dormit ? My Dad had something similar and they did it for him, he was in his late 80s then.

She’s been started on two new medications. One for the fast heart rate and one for anti coagulation. The consultant said these should sort it and she will hopefully be home tomorrow. She was tearful and worried but joking with me and the nurses and said how lucky she is to have me as her own private nurse.

Private nurse huh? 🤔

That is a lot of pressure placed on you and a massive assumption about what you are prepared to do @Dormit. How do you feel about what she has said to them?

........... but joking with me and the nurses, and said how lucky she is to have me as her own private nurse

@Dormit How did you feel when she made this remark, bearing in mind you've been trying to limit the amount of time, and the number of visits you make to her?

And doesn't your mother understand that you have responsibilities and commitments to your own children? And that you're utterly exhausted, unwell yourself, and stretched far too thin?

She said it to me, not the nurses. I am a qualified nurse and a lot of what I do for her is based on my nursing experience so I am her private nurse. It wasn’t said as an expectation, but as being grateful that she’s got me and I know what’s what with things medically. I am doing less than I was. My niece goes on a set day a week so that’s a day off for me, and I usually don’t stay as long when I do go. The colder months tend to have less to do because I’m not gardening.
If she comes home today as planned it’s going to be tricky though with timings and if need be she will either have to get an ambulance home or wait. I’m at the GP at midday and need to take my son to school for 9 and pick him up at 3. I’m felling less physically stressed in general. I stayed up and watched Shetland last night and I’m going to bed later I slept better and didn’t wake up at 5am worrying. At the moment I’m worrying about the stroke risk and very aware that at 86 she is at high risk of a cardiovascular event that will kill her and I’m struggling with that. Apart from my children and godparents, she’s all I’ve got. My brother is executor along with me but he lives a couple of hours away and most things will fall to me. My sister is moving away and my other sibling lives down south. It’s very daunting and upsetting thinking about it so I’m trying not to whilst knowing that the day will come. I just hope she gets her surgery and gets rid of her pain first.

Mum is being discharged but had said my sister was going to see her this afternoon (before she knew she was allowed home) so I said great, will she bring you home then? Sister drives and lives close by. No. She’s tired 🙄 and now won’t see mum for 10 days. She doesn’t work full time, works day shifts, drives and lives 6 miles from my mum. So as usual it’s down to me. My sister really pisses me off. Luckily Ds loves spending time with grandma and will happily get the two buses to the hospital with me to pick her up then get an uber back with her home after school. The carers restart in the morning so I plan on a nice day at home tomorrow.

@Dormit,hospital transport could be arranged if needed. Is that an option?

She had no clothes to go home because although the carer packed essentials for being in hospital she didn’t pack anything for coming back out and it’s wild out there today. She’s safely home now as am I and both of us glad of it.