There's something sersiously wrong with my mother in her early 70s

[BlueBrickRoad]

I have observed a lot over the past 3-4 years and there's so many things that just seem off with her. It is getting very scary now with paranoia but it's so quite and silent. Let me explain the paranoia.

I live at home with my mother. Any time I am home, if we are in the kitchen as an example, and if I leave the kitchen, maybe to go up the hall and go into my room, or even if I go to the bathroom or sitting room, if my mother is in the kitchen busy or if she's sitting down having tea or a sandwich - next thing I know she is running up the hall to go into her room. This has happened time and time and time and time again. It's nearly as if she is paranoid that I am going into her room. That's what it looks like to me. It happens every single time.

The past few days has been tough at home and I am now seeking respite in a friends house.

There are so many things that are just not right and every day is different.

Do I write to her GP? Send a letter? I am a patient at the same clinic. Do I make an appointment for myself and discuss what I see in her? Or do I write a letter and hand it personally.

I have no business going into her room and with the way I work sometimes I just don't have time. She's paranoid. But it's not just this either. She ignored a leak until I got a plumber and she was paranoid about a plumber too. She was paranoid about a chimney sweep. She is paranoid about the Tesco grocery delivery.

It's not just paranoia, there are other behaviours too but that's for a doctor.

My mind is steering towards dementia as a possibilty.

@ThisIsMyYearToFindMyself It certainly seems like the same issues and the same poster. It is the same complaints and lack of action. The poster has had plenty of advice over many, many months and threads.

OP, kindly you have posted so many times about this situation under different usernames but your posting style is very distinctive and you have received much good advice which you seem determined to ignore. If you don't like the advice or you can't act upon it for some good reason, then that's fine but coming back and asking the same questions over and over again if you can't or won't do anything About it is useless.

The oil tank lady came to my mind as well.

if I recall, the OP didn’t specify until quite late on that she was actually living with the mother and then she didn’t explain why she was living with the mother, or why she couldn’t just arrange for the repair of the oil tank.

I hate to be suspicious or sceptical but maybe the mother is the OP herself?

And never explains why she doesn’t just say, to her Mother who she lives with, 'why are you doing that?'

Coming up with all sorts of strange ideas instead.

Yes, it’s all very strange and I suspect it’s never going to be resolved.

The OP receives good advice but never acts on it.

When questioned in the situation and why she’s living with her mother as a grown adult, she seems to clam up and then start another thread months later, repeating the same issues.

It looks like the time the plumber came and the mum gave him a dirty look, and when she ran into her room when the chimney sweep was there, were years ago now. Yet the OP is still talking about it.

OP, if what you are saying is true, that you live with your mother but have a lock on your door as she snoops, and she runs down the hall to her room in case you go in….that doesn’t sound healthy.

Could you move out? Why are you there? Is one of you caring for the other? And if so, which way round is it?

I’m not sure. But something is definitely not right.

It really reminds me of a repeated poster years ago who was called daisy something I think.

Repeated threads about her neighbours and family doing strange things and how nobody listened to her about it in RL.

She seemed quite mentally unwell but as the posts were in isolation, she'd have well-meaning posters offering advice and agreeing with her that it did seem strange.

Which fuelled the paranoid/delusional ideas.

Another I remember was a repeated name-changer clearly very mentally unwell who posted thread after thread about finding out her DC may have been exposed to a virus, a common childhood one.

Because she'd start threads asking if she was unreasonable to be worried they'd catch it? people would say no but as the threads went further she'd talk about planning what to bury her DC in as they were going to die.

But as is common on MN, most people didn't read the OPs posts beyond the 1st one so she'd have people joining saying 'do they seem unwell? Have a temp? A rash? or whatever, which fanned the flames of her mental illness. People offering reassurance were just ignored.

Some posters would clock it all and plead with her to get help with her mental health but she'd leave the thread and come back with a new one a few days later under a different name.

Which led to some bunfights as posters who recognised her would say 'you keep posting about this, you've been advised on many occasions you need help with your mental health' and other posters would dive in saying 'the OP is just worried, why are you being so mean? She just wants reassurance, weren't you ever worried as a Mum?'

Repeated threads under name changes, always with the same/similar content and never taking any advice can be red flags that the OP is unwell in my opinion.

And that's leaving out this OP saying she had to put a lock on her bedroom door because her Mum was going through her things and has an 'obsession' with OPs underwear...

@ByBlueMooseYes, your final two paragraphs sum it up for me.

Not sure what we can do though.

I suspect the OP isn’t going to reply on this thread again.

Agreed. You never address the important questions, and you be back here next week with another similar thread.