How to help our children/loved ones in the future when we’re old and hopefully lovely and manageable

[I8toys]

What advice or actions would you put in place (now that you have the knowledge of dealing with all aspects of elderly care) to assist your loved ones if you lose all rationality or capacity in the future

I’ll start

• Wills
• POA for health and finance
• Funeral plans and wishes
• Decluttering/ downsizing
• Spreadsheet of accounts- savings etc. this helped us so much when Fil lost capacity but we still found all sorts of accounts/ bonds

Oh right, I didn't know they sorted all that too.

As you say though, it's not a 'solution'.

I am sorry your have gone through the trauma of having to look into it.

Thanks for sharing everyone. I’m sorry to hear that things are so hard for so many on here.

I resent the expectation that I will prepare someone to go to Dignitas and actually go along with them to support their death, when I actually object to it for lots of reasons. I’ve never been asked my views- red flag in itself- but I don’t feel I should have to respect anyone else’s wishes to that degree. And who would takes over if I ruled myself out? I would worry about that too.

So I can see I will have to organise care for people who by that stage probably won’t be well enough to take as active a part (if at all) with working out what options they do have for their care. So the Dignitas supposed ‘plan’ probably gives less personal input and control of their final years/months, for the same adults who say that they want as much control as possible (hence the Dignitas idea).
I feel really upset that Parliament is even considering bringing this to the UK to be honest. It’s a minefield for families.

Bring on assisted dying I say. Sorry if that offends

@Ohgodthisishard not offended here - I want the option of choosing assisted dying for myself. I completely understand why pp would not want to choose it for someone else though.

Yes totally agree, for me, not anyone else x

I realise I’m lucky although it doesn’t feel like that whilst she’s alive - my mum doesn’t have a single sentimental item , she’s never kept anything from my childhood no photos of family on display just one of her , no heirlooms so it will be easier.