Why do they refuse to take their shoes off?

[SparkleFly]

What is it with the older generation, that they absolutely hate taking their shoes off in people's houses? My parents are late 70's and never take theirs off, if I suggest it they look uncomfortable and just ignore me. Same with MIL who will occasionally do an awkward check of the soles of her shoes before carrying on through my house wearing them. My 4 year old has been brought up to always remove them in our house or anyone else's, so he'll occasionally ask me why nanny doesn't take hers off, which is difficult to explain, giving that the real reason is that they don't give a sh**

Seriously though, what's with the lack of respect, especially when they can see everyone else doing it.

I wish I had a pound for every shoes on/off thread on MN.

I would never, ever be rude enough to ask someone to remove their shoes in my house regardlessof their age. I have to wear my shoes all the time as I have a host of issues with my feet, so I wouldn't remove mine in someone else's house either. If it was a shoes off household I just wouldn't visit.

@Deadringer Would you wear shoe covers in someone's home if they asked you to?

Yes, but I would think they were nuts. Assuming the op lives on a normal paved street and the elderly parents are more than likely getting out of a car rather than trekking miles through a muddy field to get to her house she is being ridiculous.

That's never happened to you - EVER? No-one has ever EVER asked you to take your shoes off before entering their house? Wow, that is quite extraordinary I must admit.

Among my friends people do take their shoes off at small parties in homes but most of us have a special occasion party at a commercial venue and here shoes would be worn.

I'm 68, and only once have I been asked to take my shoes off. I told the story earlier in this thread. I was 22. It hasn't happened since.

Funnily enough, the friends who asked me to take my shoes off back then, now tell me not to worry and to keep them on, when I move to take them off. I'm not sure whether it's because they now have hard flooring, or because they're 70 and one of them had had a hip replacement. So they now understand that taking shoes off isn't as simple as it used to be.

Mention

• ensuite bathrooms
• frequency of washing or showering
• shoes on or shoes off

...and 80% of people will use the words vile, grim, filthy, and disgusting in their replies!

Don't forget the toilet brush!

🤣 whoops yes that as well!

What issues do people have with en-suites?

According to a very large % of MN they are grim vile and disgusting and akin to taking a shit on your own pillow!

Some people have them and have a no poo-ing rule, but lots of people seem to despise them, altogether. One person didn't even like her DH brushing his teeth in their ensuite bathroom (I'm not sure what he was permitted to do in there? Maybe he wasn't allowed in)

Yeah, I can only think of twice in my life that I've been asked. Once was at a party. It was dreadful. My feet were frozen.

Everyone I know sees their home for comfort and to be lived in. It all feels a bit like the mum from Drop Dead Fred to be ordering people to remove their shoes. They're obsessed with dog poo.

@MimitteAndElsaGoToSwitzerland oh my word, your last paragraph just transported me back to being a child. That scene is so funny 🤣

The dog poo on pavements issue is very area dependent. Where we live I hardly ever see any, but walk 20 minutes in two directions and it's a big problem in those areas.

A lot of very visible poo left on streets and very hard to avoid if you have a small child with you or a pushchair. There are a lot of complaints on local social media about it. The local council seems to focus on keeping the streets clean in the main tourist areas but much less so in some areas. And plainly there's no consequences for people who do allow their dogs to foul on the pavements.

Thinking through my local friends and neighbours. The only ones who are 'shoes on' in the house are the ones who employ cleaners and aren't cleaning the floors themselves!

I'll give you a list:

• Feel uncomfortable exposing their feet or socks
• feel unsteady without shoes on due to bunions flat feet and arthritis etc.
• difficult to get the shoes on and off
• feet swell when take shoes off and can't get them back on
• in their generation it was height of rudeness to expect a guest to remove their shoes
• their shoes match their outfit
• they have smelly feet, fungal toenails etc. so are embarrassed
• they would have cold feet

Any number of reasons really

No shoes on in our house other than socks, slippers or bare feet!

I personally wouldn’t want dog mess/urine, bodily fluids, petrol sludge, mud, etc walked into my carpets or flooring where my children play.

Im only in my forties and taking off shoes was never a thing in my house growing up, unless they were obviously dirty from being in muck or puddles! I don’t expect people to take their shoes off in mine. But I have a friend who would answer the door to visitors who were staying with a box of spare slippers in there! It’s a very individual thing I think. I don’t think you can assume everyone who doesn’t are rude animals. And I imagine taking shoes off is particularly difficult in your seventies.

I go barefoot or in socks outside all the time, so it would probably be cleaner for me to have my shoes on 😂

Do you just not go to people's houses if they have pets? As their cats and dogs won't be walking around outside with shoes on.

I'm with you on this @SparkleFly nobody is allowed to go in my front room or upstairs with shoes on. I have young children and don't want mud or anything being traipsed from outside inside. My home, my rules. If you don't like it then don't visit. I have elderly relatives who bring slippers or wear easy shoes and I also have other relatives who just ignore my rules completely. I find it so rude

Surely the answer lies in the fact that people ,regardless of age!, have a right to ther own opinion. You thinkbyou are right so others are entitled to think the same.
Not just about shoe taking off is it?

MIL wears shoes in her house and the floors are filthy. Even walking boots are kept on, the floors like that of a shed! It's the only house I go into where I keep my shoes on because my shoes are cleaner than the floor! Rest of the family, my household and my family all take our shoes off. She never offers to take hers off in anyone else's house.

It is disrespectful not to take shoes off in someone else's home, the streets are filthy. I've had visitors walk muddy boots on to new carpets and felt awkward saying anything.

Some people don't like their feet or maybe have foot odour. Might be best to say "I have some guest slippers, if that's ok?" and keep a few pairs by the door.

Do you provide sleepers for your guests?
Because one reason why I dint take my shoes off when I go to other people’s houses is because I’m getting cold! Provide sleepers and I’ll wear them instead.

But also, do you have anyone around you with mobility issues? Not just the elderly btw. Do you have a place for them to put their shoes on and off whilst sitting down?

There are many reasons why people won’t take their shoes off. Incl ‘oh I have a hole in my sock 😳😳. If you either haven’t thought about accomodating them OR they dint feel comfortable enough with you to tell you what’s the issue (eg they felt judged) then the issue lies with you.

You might have whatever rule you want in your house. But you’ll have to accomodate people who can’t ‘follow’ those rules easily. Otherwise, it’s on you.

Disgusting to wear shoes in the house, certain family members will attempt to walk through in their shoes, stating 'they're only sliders it's fine' urm no you walk the dog in them, not a chance.

We stop them every time and have shoe covers for those that are really unable to take shoes off.