Why do they refuse to take their shoes off?

[SparkleFly]

What is it with the older generation, that they absolutely hate taking their shoes off in people's houses? My parents are late 70's and never take theirs off, if I suggest it they look uncomfortable and just ignore me. Same with MIL who will occasionally do an awkward check of the soles of her shoes before carrying on through my house wearing them. My 4 year old has been brought up to always remove them in our house or anyone else's, so he'll occasionally ask me why nanny doesn't take hers off, which is difficult to explain, giving that the real reason is that they don't give a sh**

Seriously though, what's with the lack of respect, especially when they can see everyone else doing it.

Lovely. Shoe covers, just like at the pool.
Not even guest slippers

Way to feel welcome I have to say.

I’ve only ever been asked once in my entire life. It depends where you’re from. I’m Irish and it’s not the done thing at all where I’m from. People round here would think you were really weird and rude if you took your shoes off in someone else’s house. Two of my friends are Polish and automatically take theirs off when they come into my house. I’d actually prefer if they kept them on tbh.

Get them shoe covers.

Honestly it's you that lacks respect! I don't expect anyone to take their shoes off in my house and I don't expect others to expect me to take my shoes off - although quite often for comfort I do.

Exactly. My MIL is quite unsteady on her feet, and she often wears running shoes,
I‘m assuming their bouncy soles make it easier to walk and provide extra support.
Definitely wouldn’t expect her to take them off in our house.

I would always ask the person who's house I was going in to if they wanted me to take off my shoes but I would NEVER ask anyone to take thier shoes off coming in to my house. I suffer with bad circulation (raynauds) and my feet are always cold and I often loose the feeling in them which can then be painful when it returns so I would always rather keep my shoes on.

I had this issue with a close friend. In the end I compromised for shoes on downstairs and shoes off upstairs with her and her husband as they were very offended by our shoes off rule whilst I was extremely annoyed, especially when our kids were babies. Nobody else visiting our house, people from different countries, had issues taking shoes off when visiting as we all came from a shoes off indoor culture. Another option is to provide shoe covers so they can wear shoes but keep your house clean.

🤯 I am absolutely astounded at the sheer amount of people who do not take their shoes off in their homes..I wouldn't dream of walking into someone's house without taking them off, either. I honestly just thought this was a normal thing to do when entering a house??

There you go.
I would rather have a safe MIL and happy guests rather than a perfect carpet but nobody wanting to visit.

That's hilarious 😂

Well it's much of a muchness really, either you're subjecting their floors to your shoes or you're subjecting them to your dirty socks and stinky feet, so pick your poison.

I have a crazy strong sense of smell (and I'm short so closer to their feet!), so I prefer people keep their shoes on.

My parents are 81 and 82 and find it difficult to remove their shoes and put them on again. Dad requires a shoe horn and mum has issues with her feet.
Respect is a two way street and to expect elderly people to do this shows no respect for their various infirmities. If they were very regular visitors then they'd probably keep house shoes at the other house but otherwise it's not a big deal. I always remove my shoes but for some people it is very difficult. Dd(16) had a friend around recently and for various reasons couldn't remove his shoes so I gave him shoe covers. I wouldn't give my parents shoe covers as they can be slippy.

I do have shoe covers which I give to some people eg dd's friend had walked miles and didn't want to take his shoes off as he was worried about getting them back on and he wasn't staying long. He said it was fine to stay in the hall (his boots were dirty) but I gave him shoe covers so he could sit in the lounge.
I wouldn't give shoe covers to my parents as they are elderly and could slip in them. I'd rather have a dirty carpet than parents in the hospital!

I find it painful to walk without shoes, as well as cold. There's also the issue of it being difficult to stand whilst putting shoes on and doing up laces. Obviously the OP would prefer that people are in pain and cold in order to conform to her rules.

I can't believe that people would put the cleanliness of their floors above the comfort of their elderly parents, it just seems nuts to me.

Shoe covers can be a safety hazard! I used to be a carer and occasionally we had to wear them eg when helping someone shower. They can make you slip as they have no grip. Maybe some exist with grip but I wouldn't risk my elderly parents injuring themselves for the sake of a dirty carpet.

Our neighbour has a dog and the dog has to have a footbath every time he comes in from being outside! They do have the most lovely white carpets though.

Probably feel more steady with shoes on. As others have said can you buy them some slippers for your house. I once tutored a girl and when I went to their house they had bought me a pair of slippers to use inside. I would only take my shoes off in someone's house if my shoes were wet or muddy normally.

Crikey you've really dwelled on this haven't you.

It's really quite simple, I don't have shoes in the house.

No I don't provide slippers or any alternative

So if you know you will get cold at someone's house and you know they don't allow shoes why not be proactive and take your own!

Imagine walking down the street and walking in someone's dog piss and traipsing that around your house. No thanks

My family know I will happily get on my hands and knees to assist my elderly family to put theirs on

We are a shoes on household. We have hardwood floors and tiled floors that will be cleaned anyway. We even have slippers that can be worn outside. Crocs and sliders don't work because the grass is often wet. We have a dog and are in the garden multiple times a day. The dog does not wipe his feet.

If we had beige/cream carpets, worked outside the home, didn't have a dog, trained DC to remove shoes and had an empathy bypass I would be less likely to understand why others, especially the elderly and infirm, were not understanding of my need to keep my unrealistically coloured carpets looking pristine.

I need somewhere to sit. Not someone on their hands and knees. Provide that and I'd be able to take my shoes off.

As my mum would say, stick your thumb up your bum and sit on your elbow!

Seriously though, yes of course I have someone for them to sit. I have a bench at the door with a lovely padded seat. I will get on the floor and tie laces, which is what I meant jeez

Well you didn't make that clear! Some people think it's just being able to bend that's the problem. Not the balancing on one leg!

Yes it can be hard to take them off and put them back on again, especially if unsteady on your feet, or if there are back or neck problems.

Some people struggle with laces, if they feel under pressure to move quickly.

Some peoples feet swell once they have been on their feet for a time - maybe they worry they won’t get the shoes on again easily if they take them off.

Some people need good foot support all day. My grandmother always wore shoes in the house because she needed them to avoid discomfort, even when relaxing in her armchair.

And I wouldn't expect guests to feel comfortable whilst wearing CSI style bootees to cover their shoes so that they didn't contaminate the scene. If you are going to do this would might as well frisk them and insist they wear a full contamination suit. Just in case.