Why do they refuse to take their shoes off?

[SparkleFly]

What is it with the older generation, that they absolutely hate taking their shoes off in people's houses? My parents are late 70's and never take theirs off, if I suggest it they look uncomfortable and just ignore me. Same with MIL who will occasionally do an awkward check of the soles of her shoes before carrying on through my house wearing them. My 4 year old has been brought up to always remove them in our house or anyone else's, so he'll occasionally ask me why nanny doesn't take hers off, which is difficult to explain, giving that the real reason is that they don't give a sh**

Seriously though, what's with the lack of respect, especially when they can see everyone else doing it.

WTF is all this crap about taking your shoes off??? I'm old and I have never been asked to take my shoes off in anyone's house, nor have I expected anyone to take their shoes off in mine!

What is it with the younger generation and their ageist generalisations?

In my country in Australasia I have been to very few houses where it has been expected that I will take off my shoes. No-one in my social circle take their shoes off inside. We own vacuum cleaners, and know how to use them (not that I have ever had to vacuum the floor after a visitor).

Thanks for your post. In light of this, and other, threads I have been imagining that footpaths in the UK are literally coated in dog poo. That's the way they are portrayed on MN anyway 😂

Honestly, I am in and out all day - there is no way I am constantly taking my shoes off, and then putting them on again. I went for a 70 minute walk one day last week and checked for dog poo - I found one (yes, 1) small pile, which somehow I managed to avoid.

Some MNers seem a bit strange tbh. On another thread about the weather people are so pleased they aren't having to water their teeny tiny gardens, and on this thread it's such an effort to vacuum their teeny tiny houses, should a minute speck of dirt appear!

I sometimes think I am back in the 1950s with the cleanliness is next to Godliness brigade.

Nah - Mumsnet is just weirdly germ phobic

Depends on your culture and what you have grown up with- my H is from a culture where taking your shoes off is the norm/expected and people provide slippers to wear so his mum who is in her 70s would be really uncomfortable if she didnt take her shoes off as she's been doing it her whole life.

I actually quite like it- we live right near the downs and it's always muddy around our house (esp considering the ridiculous rain fall we've had) so it saves having to constantly wipe the floor. If people dont want to thats fine too but it's certainly not "strange" simply because someone chooses to do something differently to you fgs.

I've owned a home for 45 years and we're not a shoes off family (unless muddy etc) Yet not once had dog poo been traipsed into my house.

I'm wondering where these poo strewn pavements are, too.

It’s imaginary dog poo because a dog once probably had a shit on the pavement and in the germ phobics eyes it is forever tarnished and there to be traipsed through the house.

they need to unclench

It’s really not. You’re lucky if you haven’t experienced it but in the town I live in it’s everywhere. Visitors always comment on it. On the 1.2km walk to school this morning I saw multiple poos; one smeared across the entire width of the pavement right outside my house, a massive pile of it round the corner, several smaller ones that were easy enough to avoid, one that had already been walked through leaving a trail of it for a couple of metres, and then one outside the school. I’m not exaggerating. Every time we leave the house we’re all calling “mind the poo” to each other every 30 seconds.

I still don’t insist on other people taking their shoes off in my house but I appreciate it if they do because trying to get dog shit out of my carpet is disgusting and something I’d rather not spend my time doing.

Yeah it's just bizarre. I'm in Australia and I don't understand this. I know of no one in Australia that would ask any guest to strip their shoes off. It's just not done here, unless you are Hyacinth Bucket. The overwhelming impression I get - whether fair or not - of the UK is of a filthy place with dog shit all over the footpaths and mud quicksand in the streets.
I do remember being shocked that Londoners (UKers?) on this forum complained about dogs on trains growling a people and peeing on seats. In Australia, no animal bar guide dogs are allowed on any form of public transport. People on this forum were complaining about having to walk around dogs on the train with dogs pissing everywhere. And I was left wondering if the UK is some dirty fourth world developing country.

I think if your country has dogs on your buses and trains and pissing on train seats and shitting all over the footpaths, your country has a sense of arrested development and you may need to worry more about the lax hygiene standards regarding that. I live in a country town (small rural village, in UK language) and someone just today on our local facebook group was complaining about dog shit on the footpath outside their house, posted photos of it and said they were adjusting their CCTV camera to catch the offender out, as a warning to them. I want to visit the UK sometime in the future, but the overwhelming takeaway I get from this site is that it looks like a developing nation with dog shit everywhere, dogs and animals on public transport, and mud and dirt everywhere and no one has ever heard of a door mat in the UK. It's scary.

Mmhmmn · 09/07/2024 23:45

Taking shoes off and putting them on is difficult and awkward for a lot of over 70s.

This in spades. ^ It's incredibly rude and ageist to rant about people over 60 not taking off their shoes. Some find it difficult to remove their shoes, and some are quite unsteady on their feet. And some have physical conditions, and pain that people younger don't have.

YABU @SparkleFly If you are so precious and angsty about your precious flooring/carpeting, then don't have guests in your home!

We are a shoes off house. There is a bench in the hall plus shoehorn, and MIL brings indoor shoes with her to change into. I wish it was the norm here as it in in many countries, that you have a basket or rack of plastic slippers (easily cleanable) for all guests.

Yeah it's just bizarre. I'm in Australia and I don't understand this. I know of no one in Australia that would ask any guest to strip their shoes off. It's just not done here

I am sure people from cultures who do take their shoes off find you equally bizarre 😄

But when it comes to 'slipping' shoes on and off - a lot of the over 70s I know have to wear lace up shoes for stability and security. You can't just 'slip off' lace up shoes, there's a lot of bending and fiddling to untie and lever them off and then the same in reverse to put them back on.

My mum had dreadful feet and had to wear the ugliest and most solid shoes on the planet. She also couldn't bend down and had to have help to lace her shoes up. I can almost hear her response in the back of my mind to being told she'd have to take her shoes off to come into a house!

@SoreAndTired1

Yeah it's just bizarre. I'm in Australia and I don't understand this. I know of no one in Australia that would ask any guest to strip their shoes off. It's just not done here, unless you are Hyacinth Bucket. The overwhelming impression I get - whether fair or not - of the UK is of a filthy place with dog shit all over the footpaths and mud quicksand in the streets.

This! ^ I am British/in the UK, and find the 'shoes off' brigade really fucking annoying. One couple me and DH used to socialise with (don't anymore thankfully!) used to make us take off our shoes, and their house was a shithole. Dirty, greasy, filthy carpets that had been there since the house was built 30 years earlier. (They had been there 5 years but not recarpeted.)

After 3 or 4 times, I started to refuse to go. When she asked why, I said 'well my feet feel really grotty after walking over your carpets when we come. I think they may need a clean.' She was like Never asked us again, thank fuck!

It really was a case of wiping your feet on the way out!

And yeah, 99% of the time I don't need to take my bloody shoes off! Unless my shoes are horrifically muddy and wet (which they very rarely are,) why should I take my shoes off? And also, don't these 'shoes off' people have doormats?!

And yeah, I never take off my shoes in my own home either.

I don't know where these people are living but there's absolutely no dog shit or rivers of filth in my city. Unless I've been walking in the fields in my hiking boots, I feel perfectly fine to leave my shoes on in the house.

My carpet is perfectly clean too. I hoover regularly and have carpet cleaner for any errant stains (of which there are very few - I only really keep it in in case the cat pukes).

I genuinely think most people are either imagining dirt, are phobic of germs, or have notions that shoes off makes them posh (which it really doesn't. All the truly posh people I know are quite firmly in the shoes on camp).

I live in London and even here I'm not trailing in dog shit if I leave my shoes on indoors.

Shoes-off was always unheard of among my friends and family. It did exist but very largely only among the uber houseproud - who according to my DM probably scrubbed the front step every day and had net curtains. In other words, it was seen as a LMC/WC thing. And no, we weren’t UC with servants, or well off MC with a cleaner. My DM didn’t have a cleaner until she was over 70.

I’m also bemused by the apparent filth people are walking into their homes. And I think it’s aspirations to be seen as middle class and the thinking this is what you’re supposed to do.

it isn’t. My neighbours are upper middle. Old money. House worth 4-5 million. They would rather chew their own feet off than ask guests to remove their shoes and when they are hosting they themselves wear shoes. On their very expensive cream carpeting and rugs. Same with a few others I know.

it’s working class through and through to ask guests to remove shoes, I was raised working class and the people I know who do this, are all working class wishing to be seen as middle

the only other folks who would do it, are those with some form of germ phobia that outweighs the need to be polite.

We obviously mix in very different circles as most I know take their shoes off. Vacuums do not get rid of the bacteria from dog droppings abd whatever else lurks outside. Hour home is your sanctuary, keep it clean.

As a family we take shoes off when coming into ours and others' houses. But I never expected my aged parents to do so. It's a tricky manoeuvre for some, and falls are all too easy.

@ForGreyKoala

In my country in Australasia I have been to very few houses where it has been expected that I will take off my shoes. No-one in my social circle take their shoes off inside. We own vacuum cleaners, and know how to use them (not that I have ever had to vacuum the floor after a visitor).
You may know how to use a vacuum cleaner but you evidently don't understand what they do.

They pick up loose particles. They don't clean and sanitise.

@MimitteAndElsaGoToSwitzerland

My carpet is perfectly clean too. I hoover regularly and have carpet cleaner for any errant stains (of which there are very few - I only really keep it in in case the cat pukes).
If you've used a carpet cleaning machine you would know how unbelievably filthy your carpet is.

It looks like this....

Floor in gets dirty shock! 😮

I think I'll live.

@letsgoooo
In Australia you have a different climate to here. A lot of houses are on one level and have solid floors therefore not so much carpeting. It is difficult to have hard flooring upstairs here as often the flooring needs to come up if there is a pipe leak or the electrics need seeing to. There seems to be a lot of polished concrete floors in Australia. In the UK this is mostly only used in an industrial setting. Of course we know what door mats are. I have 2 at front door and 2 at the back door. I on the outside and 1 on the inside. I agree with you about animals on public transport. I think this is gross too. However, nowhere on public transport are dogs allowed on seats. In my very long life I have only seen a dog on a seat on a train once and I told the person to remove the it or I would.