*I know. I think there is a lot of denial of old age on this thread and "it will never happen to me" going on.
And as most of us are parents on here, we know how much love, time, effort and money we pour in to our dc for 20 odd years. Bearing in mind that most of us will hit the point when we need a bit of help in our frail later years, is it so unreasonable to have the expectation that if you have loving parents, you help them out a little?*
There is a lot of denial, but I think it's the way of the parents, not the kids. Look at the way the world is going. It's massively unlikely that your children will have the time or energy to "help out" when you get old. They'll likely be working all hours, and looking after their own kids. The "sandwich" years get longer and harder with every generation that passes. It won't exist when current 40 and 50 year olds need it, let alone when I do.
My DH's parents have always been clear that they don't want residential care. DH apparently agreed as a child that he'd care for them. I don't know how they'll fit it in. We have young children to look after, full-time work, nursery runs. There's decreasing time for friends and fitness, let alone managing another household. And let's face it, it's not like a day a week will be enough, or dropping off a bag of shopping.
It's an unfair and unrealistic expectation. It'll put massive pressure on marriages and families, as well as finances. It's the job of the adults to prepare - that means moving somewhere suitable, and having the money for the care option they want, which is probably going to be carers in their own home for most people. It's not fair to pass it to the children and say, "I spent 20 years looking after you" - yeah, you did, but it wasn't a selfless task, and it wasn't done to "bank" years of care in your older life. I genuinely can't see why you'd want to ask them to do this.
Perhaps it's different if you're all very well-off, and nobody needs to work.